My son just received his first SAT score (1540 - 770/770). Jr high school, 4.0, taking college comp II (98.8 avg), will graduate high school next year with his AA degree, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway he recieved a 17/24 on his essay: 6/4/7 - reading/analysis/writing
Incredibly poor handwriting (has to be genetic, because my penmanship equally sucks)
Promp was to explain how Braun tried to convince his audience to continue to support NASA.
What was wrong with his analysis? Did he approach it completely wrong because it ask him to explain, or what? (FYI: he asked me to ask. He is retaking the SAT Weds, and this weekend will read a bunch on how to get a better essay grade.
I did my best to type it exactly as he wrote it (he had to read it to me). He did use “&” symbols for “and”. Why? He is 17 and I can’t explain it.
Thx
Here is a pic of the handwritten copy (warning: what will be seen can’t be unseen): http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v332/beerbelly1/essay_zpsihl6hlxh.jpg
Bobby Braun, in his 2014 essay “Space Technology – a Critical Investment for our Nation’s Future”, claims that NASA’s space exploration program is an incredibly beneficial & desirable pursuit that should be continued far into the future. He does so through the conjecture & conclusion that NASA’s engagement is a generator of technological and economic advancements, making extensive use of examples of technologies developed as an incidental result of NASA’s research & development & suggestive, connotated language that gives admiration & reverence to NASA all throughout the essay.
The basic theory behind Braun’s writing is that NASA, in its endeavors in probing the great unknowns will simultaneously be “proving the capabilities and lowering the cost of other government agency and commercial space activities.” (P5S1) He supports this claim in paragraph six with a hearty list of technologies exemplifying how this statement has already been the case for year. Among his list are very notable examples including improved transportation & energy generation methods, as well as others impacting the medical & safety fields (S2). By indicating such a thorough & wide-ranging area of influence of the improvements made by the space exploration industry, the author gives proper contextualization of how NASA has contributed to the quality of life of those on Earth whilst focusing primarily on the stars. Braun continues by stating that the budgeting requirements of NASA’s sustenance are relatively moderate compared to its benefit, claiming that “a funding level approaching 5% of NASA’s budget. Is the key ingredient to their success” in creating more innovations like that have already proved so beneficial for America, a statement echoing an earlier lament that NASA’s continued prestige was endangered by apathy & insufficient financial support (P7S3;P3S1). Although Braun supports his first claim, citing a National Resource Council’s agreement in an ethical appeal, his assessment of the magnitude of necessary stimulus is notably absent. (P3) He gives a clear portrayal of the issue, but largely neglects the solution opting instead for an almost completely unfounded claim.
Braun makes the persuasive nature of his essay readily apparent to the reader. All throughout the essay he showers the space program with laudation, & openly mourns the decline in its funding. His very sentence esteems space exploration as a “stong components of our nation fabric” & a “positive contributor to our nation’s trade balance. (P1S1) He views a fascination with space as intrinsic to the American mentality & healthy (as he later supports) for its economy. He later implies that NASA is on the verge of a breakthrough, which will facilitate “humanities next great leap across the solar system” (P7S1). He gives no economic, not humanistic, no moralistic explanation for why this is a good thing, when he speaks of space exploration, Braun is assuming that it is intrinsically desirable. In doing so, he imbues NASA with an internally altruistic character, transforming it into a bastion for humanity that should be given support regardless of its “real-world” contributions (though it does have many). In so heavily charging his words, Braun conveys a respect & appreciation of NASA & space exploration in general, which combines with blatant implications of intrinsic value of space exploration in general to create an argument that NASA is a positive force on pragmatic and idealistic ground & should therefore be allowed to thrive.