Score my essay please?

<p>I would greatly appreciate it, as I'm still not quite sure how to write one that is suited for the SAT. </p>

<p>The prompt: is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? </p>

<p>Although respect towards people of authority is a principle stressed in society, there is a difference between that and questioning their opinions. Questioning the established opinions of people of authority can lead to new, unforeseen consequences, some of which can be more beneficial than following the status quo. Several historical and literary examples illustrate how straying from the ordinary and the ideas of people in authority can lead to greater end results. </p>

<p>During the early years of America, the government was still striving for land. However, Spanish had lain claim to Florida, a highly prized region. Andrew Jackson, a general, was sent to intervene in the troublesome Native American activity in the region; however, the government, fearing further conflict, forbid him from intemperate violence. Jackson, realizing that this was an opportunity to capitalize on the land, began a bloody, reckless streak of violence throughout Florida. He not only executed Indians but also killed sympathetic British. </p>

<p>The US government, angered at his insubordination, threatened to punish him; however, John Quincy Adams used the opportunity to bully Spain into ceding the region, in return for border clarifications on Texas. Although Jackson clearly went against orders, the end result benefitted the nation much more so than the original plan. Without having questioned authority, the US would not have, or taken much longer to, developed to the extent it has today. </p>

<p>Furthermore, in the novel 1984, authority is questioned yet again. The protagonist Winston lives in a dystopian society ruled under the iron fist of Big Brother, a personification of the Stalinized government. All of society depends on what the figures of authority say; in fact, Winston's occupation is to falsify government and public records to correct the inconsistencies of government predictions. Winston begins to realize that there is more to life than what Big Brother spoon feeds them, and starts to question the information he receives. Such covert research leads to him discovering a major conspiracy behind the perfect appearance of the government. The illegal spying makes him feel much more alive than his "beetlelike" colleagues, as he so describes them. If he had not questioned authority, he would be reduced to the insipid zombies as the rest of the members of the propaganda filled society; furthermore, his happiness and discoveries could have gone down the drain. Questioning led him to discover that the authorities are not always right. </p>

<p>A careful analysis of the the two examples illustrated that it is indeed important to question the decisions of authority. The people in authority are exactly that--people--and as human beings, they can be incorrect at times. Questioning them can lead to further discoveries and beneficial consequences.</p>

<p>My guess is that this essay would get around a 10. It’s well written and the second example is good, but you made Jackson seem like a bad authority figure himself, which led me to think you were going to say it was important to question his decisions. So you probably should have fudged the details to make it support your position more.</p>

<p>@zaaakk</p>

<p>Thank you for taking the time to score it! I can see why you’d think that; I’m just now realizing it myself (probably the fact that I unnecessarily mentioned that he was a general). Thanks again!</p>

<p>bump for the good samaritan night owls</p>

<p>bump 10char</p>

<p>“is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority”?</p>

<p>yes, because Adams backed into an opportunity to “bully Spain” out of a territory</p>

<p>yes, because Winston Smith got tortured and his spirit broken by the Party</p>

<p>Those example really dont convey the importance of questioning ideas and decisions. They might have done better if you reversed your position on the prompt and use the same examples.</p>