Maybe we can help you better if you tell us some of the questions your son is asking. The hive of parents here likely has at least a few folks who have fielded the same questions.
1 Like
Today when I asked him if he took any arts class and he said yes. Then he asked: “You don’t know your own kid?”
I agree with your son. Over the past four years of high school you have no idea what classes he has taken? That doesn’t make sense. Don’t you receive his report cards?
1 Like
I don’t get it, either.
I encourage you to keep talking with your son. I admire your courage sharing your questions with us on CC. My teens have said similar to me, when I don’t know their favorite items or remember their friends or something they told me.
You’re clearly proud of your son and he sounds like a wonderful person.
2 Likes
If he started foreign language in middle school, what level did he reach in high school? I.e. if he took level 1 in middle school and three years in high school, he may have reached level 4 in high school, which is typically seen as “four years”.
1 Like
I don’t blame him. The past three years flew by too fast before I started paying attention. We don’t have paper report cards.
1 Like
I didn’t answer his question as I haven’t paid enough attention to his education. Whenever I ask how his school went he says fine (grade-wise nothing to check). I’m happy with him as he’s happy.
It is four years but it’s “three years”. He said his GC said he had enough. Presumably enough for HS graduation and college admission (most colleges at least).
And again I ask….what questions does your son have about this college selection process?
My suggestion is that you tell your kid what your annual budget is for funding his college education.
Give your kid any other parent restrictions on his selections (e.g. distance from home, or whatever).
Then set aside 30 minutes once a week to discuss schools he has found. Run the net price calculators on them to see if the costs are within your ball park. You can give him suggestions of colleges to consider, but please discuss the colleges HE has found.
Let him know that anything not within budget will be a no go even if he gets accepted.
2 Likes
THIS!!
He really needs to be in the driver’s seat during the process. You can make a list, supervise applications and such but once you drop him off, it’s all on him. It needs to be a school, major, path that HE wants because you can’t make him show up every day or do the work.
I don’t mean to sound disrespectful and I admire you trying to guide him. However, you seem to have been pretty hands off during high school and he has done just fine. Maybe he is doing just fine on his own and with his guidance counselor for this, too. Maybe he has a plan and a list but is just doing his own thing.
4 Likes
Genetics or environment, you most certainly did something right to have such a high-achieving child, who did it on his own with no input from you. He’s going to do great in college.
I agree with all posters who are recommending a big school with lots of majors, that also has a strong engineering program. An early action application to your state’s flagship U of course. Have him schedule an appointment to speak with his guidance counselor about being recommended for major merit scholarships at your state flagship, and any others that she knows about. Then, I would seriously consider chasing merit money, unless you are in such great financial shape that 300K means nothing to you. Consider it this way - would you rather pay 300K for college, or pay 60K (living expenses only), or pay nothing, and give the kid a gift of 240-300K towards buying his first home? To me, unless the kid really needs MIT, it’s a no brainer. Your son has fantastic grades and test scores. There are good schools that might give him full tuition, even a full ride. Check out flagship state U’s in the south and southwest. Look up the Benacquisto scholarship for out of state National Merit students to attend Florida state schools. Make sure he follows through to finish the National Merit process (a high score on the exam is not all that is required). Consider Arizona (both their U and ASU honors college).
I cannot recall if you were the one who mentioned states’ gun laws, but the unfortunate fact is that guns are everywhere in the US now. Your son would get into any Canada school, including Toronto, but I don’t know if they would give him merit money. His tuition would be less there than paying full private school tuition here, but more than he might have to pay if he were to chase merit money here in the US.
3 Likes
So he finished level 4 in high school? Or only level 3?
1 Like
So, basically, he’s good for coursework and grades.
Get him a Fiske Guide?
2 Likes
I’m here to help myself make a list, otherwise I won’t need 30 min to offer nothing to him, not even 30 sec:)
1 Like
Good suggestions and I think he’ll be receptive as he thinks he can get a good education from many places.
1 Like
Three as the first two yrs count as one. It seems many LACs love to see four years. I wonder how much it hurts him if he plans to apply to LACs. I don’t think he’d change his senior year schedule for a 4th year though.
I think you misunderstood me. I would suggest you be a listener first. Listen to the schools your SON finds. He needs to be invested in this search. Once you listen to his ideas, you will have a better idea what he is looking for.
For your first 30 minute meeting, I would have HIM make a list of the characteristics he thinks he wants in a college…this would include geographic location, urban/suburban/rural, size, religious or secular, public or private, potential majors. Things like that. Listen to what your son says he would like as characteristics for his four years of undergrad. Just listen.
Second meeting…ask him to come up with four colleges that meet many of his criteria and let him explain why he has chosen those.
You can come up with a few suggestions for him to look at as well. Exchange lists…then take time to look at his…and ask him to look at yours.
Let him know up front if you have any cost constraints!
Once you start this dialogue, it will get easier because you will know what he is actually looking for in a college. And he will know some of your ideas.
The key is…no judgments at the onset. This is a journey to find some good options for him based on what HE wants in a college.
2 Likes
I’d like to be somewhat prepared to get into such a meeting or any meeting. I felt I had nothing to say and no basis to understand him. Hence I’m here. I appreciate anyone that offers any suggestions or thoughts.
I will try again!
All you need to be prepared for at the first meeting is looking at or helping your kid create a list of characteristics for the colleges HE wants to attend.
Really you need to be the listener here…your kid needs to either have prepared a list of characteristics or he needs to make it with you in that thirty minute first meeting. That’s IT. (See my post above for a list of what he should try to include).
Until your kid makes this list of characteristics…and you set an annual budget of what you can pay, everything else can’t happen anyway. Start there. Get these two things done.
But be a LISTENER. Let your son be in the drivers seat.