Hello! I am a female current high school junior and I am starting to seriously think about college. I am a recruitable athlete and have been in contact with a good number of coaches. I have only been looking at co-ed schools but I have experienced a lot of sexism lately from my school experience as well as my co-ed sports team. This has made me want to consider looking at women’s colleges but the issue there is that the sports teams are not as competitive/high performing as I would like and would be a good fit athletically.
Just this afternoon I had an experience where a male teammate screamed at me when we were setting up. There were 5 things to set up and I did 3 and left the other 2 for him and he chose to only do one and proceed to yell at me for not doing the fourth. At school, one of my classes is all boys except for me. The other day I got an answer wrong and they all made faces or sounds and shook their heads and I just felt incredibly judged and uncomfortable.
I went to an all girls K-8 school in the bay area of California so I was exempt from any sexism and taught that I was an equal. I also currently go to a very liberal school. Maybe that is why I am so affected by these small instances. I just know that in a college environment I want to be in a school and athletic environment where my gender isn’t a hindrance on my experience.
I was just wondering what current students could tell me about the sexism at schools. I would love to hear about people’s experiences at different schools. I am looking at LAC’s, research universities and state schools so different perspectives would be fantastic.
It’s only sexist if the boys did those things *because * you are a girl. Would the teammate have yelled at another boy? Would the classmates have made faces etc if a boy got the answer wrong?
Not at all saying what they did was right; it does seem, especially in the classroom, that it would be good to change the culture. Speak to the teacher about that? A boy giving the wrong answer might feel the same way you did, which is not great.
I’m guessing you don’t have brothers. I am a strong feminist with three sons; before I raised them I am not sure I would have understood "boy culture ". It would be good for you to figure out how to deal with these relatively minor slights, because out in the real world, working with men, you will encounter lots of situations that aren’t all positive.
My D is an engineering student a big state flagship. She’s had some terrible experience all through her life, some from adult females. She’s been told math/science is for boys, been told she shouldn’t bother learning how to light a bunsen burner, and all kinds of crazy things. She was also used to being the only female in the class in HS.
She’s definitely been subject to mansplaining in college and it drives her bonkers. She was the top student in her chem class and lab, and was partnered for one lab with a young man who questioned her every single move, wanted her to be delegated to playing secretary (which she refused), and then left her to clean up the entire lab. She knows it comes from a place of insecurity on the man’s part but it still infuriates her. At this point, she’s taking it all in as learning experiences for her career and she knows how to self advocate.
Sad that it still happens in this day and age but I honestly don’t think you’ll be able to get away from it entirely.
^It’s so odd to me, because as a female engineer, I have hardly ever encountered sexism. Like I can count the number of times on one hand, even including high school.
I think every woman engineering and science student I can think of in the 1970s and 1980s in engineering and science and math, experienced a variety of sexist behaviors continually through college and their careers. This is why so many women got out of engineering, of my age group! MIT even used to allow pornography movies as the Registration Day movie to relieve “stress” among the male student undergrads at MIT! We protested this porn movie in 1978 and it was stopped sometime in the later 1980s.
I once saw a joke in a department newsletter, in 2008, about women and SHOES at a federal national lab I was working on, and reported it as sexist. It seems minor, but women put up with a lot and I was sick and tired of sexist jokes that say I have too many shoes because I am a GIRL! I only own about two pairs of shoes, don’t like the clutter and thus I don’t like the stereotype.
Sexism in the engineering workplace IS rampant. Everything from being talked over, to losing promotions to men
and the ranking systems always ranked women at the bottom at Hewlett Packard for years! We called it “the woman’s rank”, the bottom rank that was not grounds for firing an employee or putting them on “daily objectives” with their manager!
See the sexual discrimination lawsuit filed by Tina Huang against Twitter. Women now file lawsuits regularly for sexual harassment and at least get attention to the discrimination in promotions that is RAMPANT in the Bay area
and all over the USA. Its really worse in the Bay Area though, as I understand it.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-10-23/ex-twitter-engineer-seeks-to-show-women-can-climb-only-so-high
On the OP’s question on which colleges are sexist, the answer is they are all sexist but you have to learn how to stand up to it, work with men and get along with men. I do not see how you can learn those skills in an all female college, so do pick a co ed college.
Here is a recent gender discrimination lawsuit being filed against Microsoft–
https://microsoftgendercase.com
Women Engineers are no longer quiet about the sexist behaviors in the engineering workplace, @MaineLonghorn
I applaud that, even if women do NOT win these cases, it gets some light on a subject thats not really discussed.
OK, just sharing my personal experience. I haven’t seen it, but I’m glad other women are speaking up.
I’m glad it’s possible @MaineLonghorn!
Its not clear that the problems the OP lists are due to sexism. Not getting along with someone when both are trying to setting up something - why is this an example of sexism. She might really enjoy an all-girl environment but then the eventual work environment is not likely to be all female.
^I agree. Boys are likely to give each other a hard time, too.
To OP: I think your perception of what happened at your school is totally valid. It’s an issue for sure. I do think some colleges are better than others, but you’ll probably have to do the weekend visits to find the real scoop on a school’s culture directly from the student athletes. I am trying to find the same sort of info for my son, as he doesn’t want to be at a school where the male athletes are super into bro culture. He has even avoiding joining a club team bc of the racist/sexist banter. I think it varies a lot from school to school, and even year to year. If you’re in a club sport, try to reach out to any alumnae from your club who went on to colleges and see what they know about the culture at different schools.
Thank you for all your replies! I think that asking alums from school/sports would be a good plan. And thank you so much for sharing the different cases and experiences!
I didn’t mention that it is kind of an issue with our team culture that the girls do most of the setup/takedown at practices. We have more boys than girls and we end up doing the work while the boys go home and the coaches don’t stop it because they don’t care who does it as long as it gets done. The same guy who yelled at me also said to me when I asked him for help lift something “of course you need a man to help you with this, you’re weak” That to me is still sexist even if it was a joke.
It’s sad that stuff like this still happens but I think it’s good that at least people are starting to say something. My friends who are also upset with the boys are going to try to figure out a way to respectfully suggest that they should help us more often.
One thing I’ve found that works is to just not do things that are in the category of “you should do this because you’re the woman.” Walk away and leave the work, and if the coach calls you out on it, say, “Oh, the girls have done clean up for the first half of the season. Second half is on the boys. That seems fair, right?” Then just smile and walk away. You have to get all the girls to agree in advance, though, and you have to follow through together. Have your car ride ready, and just walk away. Polite but firm. No drama. (I use this same strategy when I’m in a meeting with men and they just expect me to be the notetaker. I always just say, “No. I’d prefer not to take notes for the group.” You’d be surprised how much of their behavior is predicated on the fact that they will meet with absolutely no resistance.)
Another approach is to try to find a female ally on the coaching staff, explain what is happening, and ask her to speak to your coach or the Athletic Director.
Have to admit, the first strategy is more fun. It’s fun to see their jaws drop open. 
OP – no “respectfully suggest”! Suggest? A suggestion implies you would be ok if they say No. I love @ccprofandmomof2 's suggestion. Just don’t do it! No one can take advantage of you if you don’t let them.
Hi! So I go to Emory and I’m not an athlete so I can’t say much about that. What I can say is that sexism is prevalent in a lot of places. I feel like college sexism though is more in the form of objectification of women’s bodies at parties and such. I don’t think sexism, though, should influence you to go to an all girls college. I think that sexist people, in most cases, are the minority. For the most part, I have not heard open sexism from college guys (aka like openly sexist taunts) all too often in college. Most men are smart enough not to be misogynistic. Even so, all colleges are probably different. It’s frustrating, yeah. But honestly, if you let it control your life, your letting them win.
I’m similar to @MaineLonghorn in that I have not encountered much in the way of sexism. The only significant incident was in college when I went to ask a professor for help and was waiting outside his office. I heard him talking to a guy/girl about a test/grading and he said “I grade girls harder because they should not be engineers.” But, this was almost 30 years ago and he was an old fart back then. I will say that I had to learn to be more aggressive, especially when I worked in the private world. But I don’t consider that sexism. A20+ years ago, I was the first woman hired in my division. Later, I was told that they were very nervous hiring me, because they didn’t know how I’d react. At the time, we had very few engineers in the office. It was mostly surveyors and construction inspectors. However, I have a thick skin, don’t get offended easily, and can dish out teasing/sarcasm with the best of them. I never had any problems and I consider my crew one big dysfunctional family.