I’m a rising senior and I’m starting my applications for colleges (T20, matches, and safeties—the usual). If it’s at all relevant, my dream schools include Harvard, Columbia, Yale, and UPenn, with Harvard having a slight edge. But the reason I’m making this thread is that I’m wondering whether it’s in my best interest to come out (as gay) in my college applications. I don’t think I’d do it in an essay, but I’m considering doing it in the additional information portion. I’m on the fritz about this for a lot of reasons but the main one is that I haven’t even come out to everyone in my life. I’ve come out to a few friends, but not my family—I’m not sure if it would be safe of me to do so. But I know I’m going away for college, and I have every intention of being completely out once I get to college. I think it’s an important part of me that I want any future school I’ll attend to know about me. And I hate to mention it, but it might also be a “hook” for me. I’ll be the first person in my family to ever go to college, I’m African-American with immigrant parents, and I’m low income. So I’m already what people would call heavily hooked and this could be just another one. (BUT I ASSURE YOU I’M NOT JUST DOING THIS FOR ADMISSIONS! And my stats are also within range of the schools I’m applying to so I’m academically qualified. )
My worry is that the opposite might happen: that talking about my sexuality at all might hurt my admissions chances, even if I know it’s a welcoming school. I also don’t know how I would come out if not through my essays. I’m thinking of writing a short paragraph in the additional information section, but I’m not sure if that’s what that section is for.
FYI, my parents do not know much about the application process and wouldn’t read through my applications and see what I wrote. In fact, part of the reason why I want to come out in the additional info section is so that it’s not something I’ll need to have proofread and edited several times by other people. While I want them to know it’s important to me, I really don’t want coming out to be a particularly memorable part of my application. I just want them to know this about me because… I wouldn’t feel comfortable submitting my application without them knowing. But maybe I shouldn’t tell them. I don’t know and I’d really appreciate the advice, even if you don’t think it’s what I want to hear.
No. Too distracting from your true qualifications.
Too much potential drama with your real life family not knowing.
I understand that it is important to you but admissions officers won’t care one little bit if you are gay or straight. There are tons of gay applicants to college – being gay will not make you unusual nor will it make any difference in the admissions process. IMO there is no reason to include your sexuality in the additional information section as the information isn’t relevant to an admission decision, but in the end it is your application so do as you like.
It’s not a hook. No one but you cares. Be yourself. The person reading your application won’t care if your straight , gay etc LgbtQ whatever…
But I think you might want to research which schools have clubs, activities and support for you. Which I believe the one’s you mentioned will. If you want to put it in the extra information about you then do so. I just don’t think it makes a difference one way or another.
.
Why? Serious question.
Who you find attractive is a huge part of your life- but it is completely irrelevant to the college admissions process. The AOs at any school that you are likely to be drawn to will be completely uninterested in your romantic life (there are some deeply conservative schools where it would be an issue, but you can figure who they are pretty easily). I have done alum interviews for undergrad, and applicant interviews for grad. Hand on heart, I really don’t know anybody in admissions who is interested. They want to know what you will bring to the community, not who you go home to.
And: “coming out” probably won’t be the dramatic thing that you are expecting: most of your peers will be perfectly comfortable with you just being who you are. Same as all your other classmates, you will face the sweet agonies of figuring out whether that attractive person sitting next to you in Bio is interested in something more than friendship. Everybody else will just want to know if you are coming to rehearsal tonight or what you think will be on the quiz.
I will give you a gentle note of caution: a very significant % of students arrive at college, make instant “friends” and then work out that those early ‘friends’ are really more foxhole buddies- perfectly nice people who hold on to each other in the early days when everything is new and uncertain. Even if they do end up becoming true friends, you won’t know that for a while, because real friendships always take time to develop. So go slow: don’t let your eagerness to be who you want to be override all of your sensibilities.
Adcoms at your targets are educated and aware. They know lots of kids/adults are gay. It’s not among the critera they look for. You’d be better off learning what does matter to your targets. Make a big deal of it and they’ll question your thinking, why you feel this is something they need to know and a factor in choosing admits.
There are some posters who’d say this has become cliche.
Contrary to CC conventional wisdom, let’s read directly from what an elite college’s admission website says:
“Duke’s commitment to diversity and inclusion includes gender identity and sexual orientation. If you would like to share with us more about either, and have not done so elsewhere in the application, we invite you to do so here.” (Optional Essay).
Duke doesn’t mean it becomes a central point in your self presentation. And they still expect “show not just tell,” which means, in the end, including/illustrating the good you did, the impact on others, how you took on engagements and rsponsibilities that benefit others. You need savvy to carry this off.
Bowdoin had an old Dean’s Letter about diversity and said you could include being short as an aspect of diversity or under-representation. It didn’t mean it was a tip of any sort. They want to see perspective, action, and impact. “Perspective in action,” not just some fact.
I would be willing to bet that it’s a way to steer that topic away from the main essays, perhaps because they are done with it as a topic but know that it is very important to a lot of 17 yo’s who feel a need to talk about it and perhaps because having gotten that out of their system the applicant will feel freed up to write an essay that speaks to other parts of themselves- that might be more relevant to who they are as prospective students.
Stop and think about the purpose of this essay: it’s to convince them that you would be a positive addition to their campus.
I’m not seeing how your sexual orientation has anything to do with that.
Has keeping your sexuality affected your performance in or choice of ec’s? Has it influenced a way you see the world that you talk about in supplements or the personal statement? If your mention of being gay explains some other part of the application, adcoms will not be able to question why you thought it’s important because you just stated why it’s important to you. I’m not saying do it, but if it did affect another major part of your application or perspective, you could consider it.
It’s not whether OP thinks it’s important and not some “ok, this explains why his record is limited.” He or she said T20.
They’re looking for kids who understand what’s important to that college. Not in your head, but relevant to them.
I believe there is normally a place on the application where you can indicate sexual orientation. Colleges do look for diversity and being a gay student will probably help your application (at least a bit) though probably not a ton.
You don’t need to write an essay about it. Of course, you can mention it in your essay without it being the topic of your essay.
It’s not a hook. But unlike many of the posters, I wonder how you came to know that you are gay, what kept you from telling others, why you are ready to come out, and how you imagine your life will be when you are out. This is the story of becoming comfortable in your own skin and what you intend for yourself now that you can fully be. I imagine that if you can articulate this, you would be an interesting member of the community and better positioned to contribute. Iow, parts of your story, told right, could convey who you are as a person.
It looks like you have overcome many difficulties and are doing well, congratulations! No matter what the admission results be, I hope you will have an opportunity to come out with your parents/family before you leave for college. Keeping such a secret from family can’t be easy. Best wishes.
Please refer back to the original post:
While each of these schools value diversity, none of them are lacking for LGBTQ students, with a higher percentage than the overall population. Not that they will turn away applicants, but LGBTQ is not a hook, or a tip, or a bump in and of itself.
Not on the Common App. Some schools have it as part of their specific questions. I know Penn does.
“As a member of the LGBT community, I found this part of my XYZ club leadership to be most significant. “
As an example. Done. You’ve let them know. Unless you have been part of some significant ECs around this part of your life and it will be revealed again on those descriptions and your resume.
Keep in mind that some schools want to know how well you write, and don’t much care what you write about.