Hi, I am a prospective student, and I am having trouble writing my essay. The problem is that in the essay, I have tried to show my passion for playing electric guitar and how extreme music(rock,hard rock) has had an influence on me. My teacher, however, thinks that since the essay is going to be read by bunch of old people (sorry for the language, but that is what she exactly said), I should not write about some thing that will not intrigue them. She says that rock music is somewhat considered as something teens do when they stay idle for too long (I don’t know if that even made sense, but that is what she said). I am very confused at the moment, as she wants me to change my essay.
I have read from Harvard’s website, and from other website’s as well that the admission committee tries to see a student as a whole person. Therefore, I think they wont judge me for mentioning what they might not like.
But I still need expert advice.Should I should do what my teacher asked me to do (change my essay, or even if I include my passion for rock, focus less on it)?
I say write it about guitar! As another guitarist, I wrote a bunch of essays about my music and my experience playing in a garage band. I ended up going with a different essay just because that one turned out better, but I think that music is can be a beautiful topic especially when you have a passion for it. If it feels right, it’s what you’ll have the easiest time writing about and the most authentic voice for.
Also from the admissions officers I’ve had to deal with so far, most of them are actually pretty young! May be different for Harvard but I definitely don’t think they’ll equate rock with laziness - as long as your essay demonstrates the work you put into it.
((Not an expert opinion but an enthusiastic one, haha!))
First off, contrary to what your teacher says, the majority of Admissions Officers are women, and they range in age from about 22 (recent graduates) to about 35. So, by in large, they are not old white men.
Secondly, when writing your essay you should heed the advice of Michele Hernandez, who was an Admissions Officer at Dartmouth, and wrote the book A is Admission: Tippy Top colleges are looking for intellectual firepower. If you can convey your intellectual firepower through writing an essay about rock guitar, then do it. IMHO, that would seem to be on the more difficult side, but keep in mind that you can write a wonderful essay about any topic. You can also write a horrible essay about the same topic. It all depends on what you say, how you say it and the “tone” of your essay.
@gibby Is your statement based on actual statistics? I visited about 15 schools with my son and it seemed to be an equal gender divide. I also didn’t have the experience of interacting with admissions officers, during campus visits, that were as young as you describe. There were a few on the road shows but I suspect the older admissions officers have worked their way beyond the gruel of being on the road visiting city after city, week after week. Since the question is with regard to Harvard specifically, The AO that spoke during my son’s first visit was a middle aged, conservative, white man. The second visit was an older gentleman, ultra conservative, african american man who wore a three piece suit and a bow tie. (You mentioned “old white men” but the OP only stated his teacher said they were old.) It doesn’t mean they don’t have any young AO, we just never have met any after two visits to campus and attending two information sessions they held in our city.
@StupidAF Your teacher’s point is you need to keep your audience in mind. Write about a topic that you are passionate about and if your passion is truly electric guitar, it’s okay to write about it but you have to do so in a way that tells the reader about you and not the guitar. You can write about almost anything if it is incredibly well written and gives the reader a perspective of who you are. Which prompt did you select for this essay?
^^^ @paveyourpath: My statement is anecdotal based upon facts. For example, when my daughter was admitted to Harvard, Admissions sent her (and all newly admitted students) the names and contact information of every Regional Admissions Officer just in case students had an questions about their application or the college itself. The list was dominated by women. In addition, some colleges, such as MIT, publish profiles of Admissions Officers. One look at the photos of MIT’s Admissions Officers should clue you in as to who is reading your application. By in large, they are NOT old, white or male: http://mitadmissions.org/pages/meet.
If you look at the salary ranges for AO’s on Glassdoor (https://www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/admissions-officer-salary-SRCH_KO0,18.htm) the job pays less than one year’s cost of attendance (COA) at an Ivy League school. As a result, the position is often a first-time job for recent graduates. Unless an Admissions Officer is super-passionate about Admissions, people tend to stay for a couple of years and then move on to another job that offers a better salary with less travel. So the average age of an Admissions Officer is pretty young (under 35) – and that person can easily relate to a high school student playing rock guitar (trying to get this thread back on topic).
@gibby Harvard and MIT two completely different schools though don’t you think? MIT a more hip school with a totally different vibe than Harvard. The profiles of the AOs of any school are going to be a more direct fit with the culture of the school. Harvard, which is the specific school of this thread, does not have an admissions office of just 23 year olds, which is not to say that is what you are implying, but the teacher, who has seen the essay, is correct in coaching the student to consider the background of those reading the essays. Having come across another post by OP, the electric guitar essay may be for shock value.
^^ No, you’re wrong. When my daughter graduated Harvard, one of her classmates became an Admissions Officer. He was 22-years old in 2015, so he’s now 23 or 24, although I’m not sure if he’s still working as an AO at Harvard Admissions. And FWIW, yes, I think MIT and Harvard are very similar – in fact students can cross register between the schools, so the caliber of student, professors, classes, administrations, and admissions offices are indeed quite similar.
My point – which you seem to be missing – is that the average age of a Harvard Admissions Officer is closer to a 17-18 year old student rather than middle-aged person, so they can easily relate to rock music, rap music, techno music, etc. Whether it’s wise for a student to write an essay about their passion for rock music is a whole other thing. IMHO, without reading the essay, I would say the OP should be looking for another topic that displays his or her maturity, social conscience, concern for community and love of learning.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
As I have stated numerous times on other threads, when a student asks a question, just answer the question. College Confidential is not a debate society and nobody’s opinions will be changed. The gender breakdown of AO’s is not germaine to the question at hand.
Guess the discussion about age came up because the OP mentioned it. IMHO, OP should take what his / her teacher said in the context of what other posters have said here, also consider that it is not just the AO who reads the application (though the AO might be the first reader), and that the Adcomm comprises faculty and others, so the average age nor their interests is most likely going to be very varied. IMHO, OP should write essays that the OP is passionate about, that influenced his / her life, that relates to what OP is saying in the rest of the application (but not repeating it), and that might relate to what the school that he / she is applying for.
I would think that writing an essay about playing rock guitar between high school and college would NOT demonstrate their intellectual firepower and move their application forward. Therefore, they should follow the advice of their teacher and write about something else.
@stupidAF ignore your teacher. Music is music. Does the essay flow (which indicates your engagement)?Does it show how your mind works (i.e. show awareness that you’ve thought about why extreme music brings you joy)? Drown out voices like this teacher’s and be you. Any other writing is moribund. The admissions people I have met are smart and open-minded. Good luck!
Btw - OP seems to start threads, but never come back and acknowledge receipt or understanding or appreciation of replies, so we may all be just wasting time discussing OP’s concerns!
However, if I were the OP, I would trust experienced people like the teacher and posters with experience, rather than a fellow senior!