So I’m taking a HECTIC schedule next year and my friend decides to copy my schedule…I know his GPA is going to die and I’m trying to convey this to him but he seems to like the idea of taking 5 APs…
What should I do?
Let him make his own choices.
I wouldn’t say anything. Not your place.
So, IOW, you already gave an opinion, whether solicited or not? You’re done.
He probably won’t be in the same period as you for some classes, so there’s that.
I think it’s great that you’re concerned about your friend. I also think the point of friendship is to share opinions and try to help friends avoid bad situations. Maybe your friend can handle the workload.
You shared your opinion and he sees the situation otherwise.
When we were younger I had a rule about my buddies’ girlfriends. If a friend was getting serious with someone awful you had two responsibilities to them: say something so they know how it looks from the outside, and then never say it again so you aren’t a corrosive, nagging weight on their relationship. So in this case sincerely ask if your bud wants to wear this particular runaway train, and then let it go and be supportive.
Also, you may be (implicitly) asked to drag him through the experience, so also consider how much responsibility you want to assume in that regard. If you’ve warned him in advance, you may feel a lot more karmic freedom to distance yourself if need be. (And if that sounds harsh, consider that sometimes friendships can founder on rocks shaped like differing academic or athletic or social outcomes. Be prepared to be a friend, but you may not be able to save him and he may not handle it well. Good luck to all.)
It’s clear now that it is his choice. He will be taking Calc BC, APUSH, AP Stats (instead of APHUG in my case), AP Physics C Mech, and APCSA as a SOPHOMORE. He already took Calc AB this year with me, because he’s tried to keep up throughout middle school, and he suffered by finishing the year with a C.
Clearly he thinks this is trivial, because he is finishing with an A- in Physical Science which is peasant physics and is going into Physics C with shaky calc and physics skills…and I honestly don’t think he will do well in CS.
So @Leigh22 I’m not sure he can do it…looking at how he performed this year…he also plays academy soccer and is the class president.
@nomood Some of the classes are online, and he will certainly be in the same period as me for AP Physics C and APUSH.
Ok, well he’s not your only friend. You’ll most likely have other friends in those classes and you don’t have to partner or hang out with him all the time.
Warning him is as best as you can do. He may notice that he may not be able to handle it so he will eventually switch out of those classes. As a friend, it’s good that you are looking out for him, but at the same time you should try to encourage him, and build him up. You telling him he can’t do something is probably making him feel bad about himself and lowering his self esteem, although he may not admit to you. 1 warning is enough in my opinion, let him make his own choices.
It’s not your job to convince your friend of anything. You’ve expressed concern and now it’s up to him. If he struggles he can drop down a level.
@squ1rrel , I don’t think it’s your place to have this kind of interest in your friend. If I read your comments right, you seem to think his choices are about competing with you. But really, it’s possible that his parents are pushing him, that he’s been encouraged to be challenged even if it hurts his GPA, that he likes these classes. In those cases, your comments are not helpful.
Focus on your own work and success. If you genuinely want to be helpful, perhaps you can arrange for the two of you (and anyone else) to form a study group.
You have a study partner now. You said you gave him fair warning, so there is nothing to feel guilty about. Just so long as he doesn’t expect you to do his homework or anything.
Many people are saying something along the lines of “It’s not in your place to…”
However, I disagree. You’re coming from a place of genuine concern and friendship. Good friends don’t stand by and watch their friends make bad choices. Example: if I were a pro skateboarder, and my friend was an amateur and wanted to copy my advanced moves/tricks, I would try to make sure they wouldn’t cause they could seriously hurt themself. Or another analogy would be watching your friend get involved in drugs or crime and not interfering. This may be an extreme example, but high school is really important if your friend wants a shot at a good college.
I trust that you know your friend well enough to advise him. This could actually seriously affect his future.
I would avoid nagging though. Like others said, maybe one warning is enough. Maybe a small genuine talk would be enough. You can’t always help people that don’t want to be helped though. If he refuses your advice then let it be.
Isn’t there anyone in authority at your HS who has to approve your schedules? I’m used to kids only being allowed to take AP classes with the teacher’s permission, and the guidance counselor approving the overall schedule. If this is the case, then either the person with authority thinks your friend can do it, or your friend’s schedule won’t get approved.
I’m not really sure how you have any friends with this superiority complex you seem to have and the fact that you would degrade someone for having an A-, which is an exceptional grade, in Physical Science, or peasant physics as you called it, which is the normal freshman science class.
I wouldn’t even “warn” him. He might take it the wrong way. I would just leave it alone completely. Maybe his parents are pushing him to take 5 APs.
None of this is any of your business. It’s not your job to run his life. If you want to be helpful, why aren’t you suggesting he brush up on his math using Khan Academy over the summer instead of telling him what you’ve decided he’s incapable of doing?
@melvin123 Well my counselor made a lot of exceptions for me this year, as I clearly outlined my reasons for taking each class. And I thought long and hard about it, as well as put in the work for the prerequisites. My friend just recently decided that he will just take the road I paved.
@austinmshauri He’s not the type of kid who would do that. Back in middle school, when we were on the MathCounts team, I would always encourage him to go on Art of Problem Solving but he would never do that. I think he’s taking the classes just for the “prestige” if that’s the right word for it, and doesn’t realize how much this can hurt him in the future.
@ProfessorPlum168 I know his parents are not pushing him because he is in a higher math class than his brothers who are 2 and 3 years older than him and his parents were not worried at all when he finished the year with a C
@ephemerally0 My bad for that, but I’m bringing up the point because if you can’t get the easy A to finish the year in the basic physics class and are struggling in Calc, then you probably won’t do well in Physics C Mechanics.
As mentioned before, he isn’t the type to look over the content over the summer.
You’re getting into pot/kettle/black territory here. Denigrating an A- in intro physics is pretty petty on your part. Most of us refrained from commenting on your B+ in calc as a freshman, where this should be an easy A for super-advanced math kids. Maybe you come off differently in real life, but your posts here just reek of hubris, IMO.
As I told you on another thread, your counselor is doing you no favors, IMO, and is probably not doing any favors for your friend. We have seen many many cases of students who decided to bypass the initial recommendation only to come back a year later and post “Help!! I got a C in XXX. Am I screwed?” I hope this does not happen to either of you.
In any case, let it go.