<p>Zagat is right... but my daughter will be going to her dream school with a need-based financial aid package that is extremely reasonable, much better than the online calculators led us to believe was possible, and significantly better than other full-need private schools offered - though it is more expensive than attending our instate public, where my daughter was also offered merit aid. </p>
<p>The secret is simply that we set ourselves up with these options - my daughter DID apply to public universities that she hoped she woud not have to attend, understanding that finances could leave that as her only option. So once having laid a foundation with two good financial safeties, she was free to dream... but I don't feel that it is my obligation to fund an impossible dream. I said "no" to a $300 prom dress without qualms, and I could just as readily say "no" to a $30,000 tuition bill. </p>
<p>Even with a $110K income, if you have no substantial assets, your FAFSA EFC may be about $21K -- which is a lot less than the $48K or so the elite's are charging these days. The private colleges will recalculate that, but if you are sending your daughter's to private schools, you might come out ahead -as some colleges will consider that expense as a reduction in income, even though it can't be taken off the FAFSA. </p>
<p>So don't assume anything one way or another. Just make sure that your son understands your financial situation clearly at the outset, including a ballpark figure as to how much you feel you can contribute.</p>