There are no perfect teachers. There are caring teachers.
Focus on your mental health right now.
This is a mental health issue. Please, go see your primary MD. There is effective treatment for this that would allow you to teach.
Hello everyone,
I did take a step back and I’m phasing out over the next few weeks. Best!
Glad to hear it! All the best wishes for you!
I want to underscore what @Parent42 says. For the type of obsessive perfectionism you describe, the gold standard treatment is ERP (exposure and response prevention) which is a specific subset of CBT. It is very different from typical talk therapy where you explore your feelings and talk about your past etc. ERP is the proven treatment for obsessive worries and compulsive actions like over-prepping in response. VERY few therapists are trained in ERP, but finding one who is can be life changing. You can google “ERP therapist near me” or similar.
What you are struggling with is very treatable, best wishes!