Should I take a gap year? Ideas?

Parents Forum
1

<p>I've searched for similar gap year threads and they were on this board, so I hope this is the right place. This ended up kind of long, too...sorry!</p>

<p>Over the past year, I've been constantly revisiting the idea of taking a gap year. Like a lot of people who work really hard in school, I'm really burned out. I have no idea what I want to do with my life besides a few vague ideas. I'm a (female) high school senior and I feel like going straight to school, extremely stressed out, burned out, and aimless might end up a disaster. I'm a little scared of flaming out, honestly. </p>

<p>When I bring up a gap year to my mom, she always suggests staying home and working for a year. She's so (understandably) protective, but there's no way I could stay home for a year, isolated, around no one my age, going through a boring, mundane routine while everyone I know is at school in some other state. On top of that, my resume is rather lackluster. I don't have many extracurriculars other than volunteering. I'm a little stressed out due to the fact that I don't know if my mom can afford any school. My mom makes around 63k, but she's filing for bankruptcy and even the most generous schools (like Barnard, Scripps, etc.) still expect my mom to pay 5-6k, which she can't do...she's already struggling as it is. My dad's completely out of the picture, as in unknown, and I have two brothers. I don't know what to do. I was going to apply ED to Barnard but I realized that would be kind of stupid. I wanna go there more than anything. So far, I've only gotten into a state flagship (only gave me 2.5k off the 22k COA, ha) and another directional state school (gave me 5k off about 16k). I've also applied to Tulane. Barnard was projected to be the most affordable, but I can't even afford that if I'm lucky enough to get in. I just feel like nothing's gonna work college-wise, and I want a break from the stress of that, to deal with it later. Also, I want to be able to actually write a strong college essay. I have no life experience, and I've accomplished nothing. I spent so much time trying to get perfect grades that I never stopped to smell the roses or found things that I enjoyed doing. I don't want to go into debt as soon as next year without knowing what I want to do. </p>

<p>So, here's the thing. I love kids and languages and volunteering. I don't know what I can do with that. I was always so jealous of all my classmates who got to travel, whether it was on school trips to Costa Rica or Europe or with their own families. I never got to do that, ever. I just want to go somewhere and experience something new. I would love to become fluent in Spanish. That's the one thing I've always been sure I wanted to study in college. I absolutely love the language. I would love volunteering with a non-profit or something like that. How old do you have to be to get TEFL certified or for somewhere to want to take you? Eighteen seems young, and I've never heard of it. I just wanna get out. I don't have a lot of money for those expensive gap year programs, and they don't seem that beneficial, anyway. I don't want to pay to volunteer. I have no idea what to do! Au pairing in Spain sounds amazing, but finding someone safe seems hard even though there are a ton of websites, and I don't know if my mom would ever go for that. Somewhere in Costa Rica or Puerto Rico sounds great, too. I just feel like my opportunities are extremely limited because of my lack of money. </p>

<p>I want to learn to rely on myself and become independent. I feel like going to college without doing that is harder than taking a gap year because on top of being so far from home for this first time, you have to adjust to and keep up with a new workload and living with someone else, etc. I want to grow, mature, and have my own fun for once. I want to reapply to colleges next fall with a stronger resume and life experience. The more I think about it, the more I wanna do it. </p>

<p>Any ideas? Suggestions? Has your child taken a gap year? What did he or she do?</p>

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<p>My kids wouldn’t bite. My niece is studying French in Paris, but that costs money. A friend of mine’s daughter who comes from a family that has no extra money to throw around was an au pair in France for the first half of her gap year. She found the family through connections, but there are plenty of organizations that help with placements. Being an au pair is nice because you get paid, but you are also expected to spend some of your time taking classes. From the money she raised the first half of her year off she was able to spend the second half volunteering at a school in Tanzania.</p>

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<p>Although I am a fan of taking time off, I would suggest that you still apply to Barnard and other schools that you might like to attend. You can always defer attendance for a year, and that will feel a lot different than being open-ended.</p>

<p>In terms of finances, you can meet with financial aid and explain special circumstances, or send them a letter explaining your situation and your mother’s bankruptcy. Barnard and schools like Amherst have great financial aid, but so do a lot of other schools that will surprise you.</p>

<p>You might also like schools like Northeastern that offer a coop experience, Bennington with its field work term, or schools that emphasize global experiences (Tufts, Clark, Goucher, many schools actually).</p>

<p>You can apply for merit aid. Loans at $5K a year would be worth considering, and the loans you would get would be subsidized, and you would not pay anything or accumulate interest until you graduate.</p>

<p>I was burned out after graduating first in my class and went to Appalachia to work. However, I never did get back on track with college, in many ways. One of my kids left for a year and didn’t return, but she is fine with it. It sounds to me like you have many academic interests.</p>

<p>If you are truly burned out and having depression or anxiety, schools will let you take a reduced course load. Remember that college days are different: you may have a class or two some days, none some days, and most of the work is done on your own timetable.</p>

<p>The experience of being in NYC would be wonderful, anchored by Barnard and new friends. Otherwise, it can be lonely and aimless.</p>

<p>I really think you are being hard on yourself. I am not sure if that means counseling might help you temporarily. It is easy to look back at high school and feel you have not lived well or done enough. Very common. However, you then go on to express authentic interests that will carry your forward, and a love of service. You seem like perfect college material, honestly. You do NOT need to know what you want to do for work at this point. Those who think they know what they want to major in or what career they want, often change, believe me. It is more than fine to enter college undecided and then explore. Go easy on yourself: you are fine!</p>

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<p>Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. Yes, I was planning to apply to more schools no matter what. </p>

<p>I’ve been mostly paying attention to schools that meet 100% of need. The thing is, even with schools that do that (like Barnard), I’m still expected to pay something I can’t. I don’t know what to do. If I don’t get into Barnard (or even Scripps), which is really likely, what’s next? I have nothing. My test scores aren’t high enough for me to get some amazing automatic scholarship at some state school, and I can’t even pay for my own state school. I know going to community college would be a miserable experience for me. I think I would become depressed, hanging around in my hometown while all my friends are gone. Plus, I’d get into much bigger debt transferring to a 4-yr university because I know transfer aid isn’t great. The thing I like about Barnard is that it doesn’t give merit aid and that it’s all need-based. That’s what I need. I can’t compete with other people for that, too. It’s like I have to get into a top school or nothing, and I’m not Ivy material. </p>

<p>I would have to take out the max amt of loans no matter what, I know that. There are TONS of less selective but great schools I would love to go to, like Fordham, American, Boston University, or even Northeastern. I would have a much greater chance of getting into those, but I know there’s no chance at affording them. I’m just scared nothing’s gonna work out. Being in this position just makes me feel so inadequate, academically and financially. I’m not good enough to get into schools that I can afford, and the ones I can get into I can’t pay for. </p>

<p>Thank you so much for the reassurance. I guess there’s no way to know what I should do for a few months, anyway. It’s just so frustrating, I feel like I’m wasting so much money on these apps.</p>

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<p>Your situation involved special circumstances. Please make sure you are not making decisions based on false information. Apply, but when you do the FAFSA and Profile, make sure you cover special circumstances with a letter or filling out the school form. And once you find out your package, if it is not enough, make an appointment to talk with the financial aid office about the particulars of your situation.</p>

<p>Two of my kids are at Ivies and one is at community college. Guess who is happier? You don’t have to go to the community college in your community, either. You can go further from home. There are many great programs and the staff and faculty are very supportive. It’s a great way to get two years under your belt at low cost, and there is automatic transfer to state university for many graduates.</p>

<p>In the meantime, shoot for the stars and make sure you have the correct information on finances.</p>

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<p>cannot edit for some reason: meant “involves” not “involved”…</p>

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<p>Edited because I missed the part in your OP that already mentioned concerns with au pairing. Ah well, just an idea.</p>

<p>Perhaps look into an Au Pair program? I knew some Australian girls who did this as a way of getting out and seeing the world before going to college. They provided live-in child-care (part-time.) Usually, families from around the world use au pairs to offer their kids fluency in another language and exposure to another culture. They got a small wage but really, the payment was the room and board. They had been all over the world. Now, if this interests you make sure you really check your sources and find a reputable agency that screens both sides heavily. Do your research but it sounds like a possible option for what you want to do and the budget at your disposal. </p>

<p>That said, if money is a big issue, there is no shame in staying at home and working. It doesn’t equal isolation. The sorts of jobs you could get are more than likely going to be jobs with other young people and there is a certain amount of bonding that can occur there. some of my favorite years were working at a theme park filled with young adults to go to movies and bonfires with. You could try for an internship. Some community colleges have internship classes for which you get credit but the biggest benefit is they help you find one!</p>

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<p>I agree with others…don’t count out colleges before you know the real deal with respect to finances. If you have the grades/SATs, apply to some Barnard type schools. Also apply to school where you are well above the 75% for a chance at merit aid.</p>

<p>Google “gap year free” and see if there are any opportunities.</p>

<p>Au Pair is good…you learn a language adn you live with a family!</p>

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<p>Thanks for all the input, everyone. I guess you’re right that I shouldn’t assume nothing will work out financially. But at the same time, I’m not completely ruling out a gap year just yet. I just have to see what happens come April. Thanks!</p>

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<p>I love the idea of a gap year and will encourage all my children to take one. My only criteria is that they go through the application process and have their college plans settled. I think it is a wonderful opportunity to travel and perhaps further define one’s goals.</p>

<p>I also think the au pair idea suggested by mathmom is a good one. You said you love “kids and languages” so it seems like that sort of position would dovetail with your interests. Also agree that you will find more info than you will ever need online about gap year opportunities. Some will be costly, but there are many volunteer opportunities that you can take advantage of for the price of an airplane ticket. You could earn that $ over the previous summer. Good Luck!</p>

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<p>Both my kids took a gap year which were low cost as Ive mentioned on the 25+ gap year threads that have surfaced on CC over the years since their high school graduations 13 & 5 years ago.
Id suggest checking out one of the Americorp programs as not only is it zero cost but you earn an education award to be used for college. (& a living stipend as well)</p>

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<p>I highly recommend a gap year. My son finished high school in 3 years and followed it up with a gap year to wind down so that he would handle college with renewed effort and enthusiasm. He didn’t want to travel, so he stayed home and started a web development business with his older brother, which he continues to work on part-time from his dorm room (gotta love those Internet-based jobs!)</p>

<p>Even if you are planning to take a gap year, the best approach is to apply to college as normal and, once accepted, ask for a gap year deferral. That way you have an opportunity in place for when you return and you won’t be forced to look up former high school teachers for new letters of recommendation.</p>

<p>Cost is obviously an issue if you want to travel during a gap year; at a minimum, you would need to pay for airfare and incidental expenses plus any local tours you might occasionally wish to take. However, you could easily work for 3-6 months, save as much as possible and use the savings to pay for travels during the remaining time.</p>

<p>If you have the time and a strong desire to learn Spanish, probably the most exciting opportunity anywhere would be to volunteer to teach English in the Galapagos Islands – what could be better than walks along the beach where the wildlife lets you walk right up to them? The folks who live on the islands mostly make their living off of tourism, so the demand for English-speaking skills is much higher than in the rest of Spanish-speaking Latin America (i.e., excluding Brazil).</p>

<p>You don’t need a TESL certificate; the most difficult part in learning a second language is converting book learning of vocabulary and grammar rules into fluent, understandable speech. For this purpose, native speakers are highly desired.</p>

<p>It’s likely you could find an opportunity to teach in exchange for room and board. However, you may not easily find such opportunities directly on the Internet. It costs money to put up and maintain an attractive, informative and up-to-date website and the people who tend to do so are Western-based middlemen trying to make a profit from your interest.</p>

<p>You could fly out there and look for opportunities while you’re there, but that could become expensive if you don’t succeed quickly. An alternative is to contact various local guesthouses and hostels by email and ask them if they know of any direct opportunities, English teaching for room and board. Since the locals mostly know one another, this should eventually yield some positive results. Once you are settled in, you might be able to negotiate a free Galapagos cruise, when a bunk is about to depart empty, in exchange for helping the company’s staff improve their English skills. Heck, if you’re a good negotiator, you might be able to live aboard for a month or more during low season, giving private lessons to staff on a rotating basis.</p>

<p>Here’s one quick link:
<a href=“http://www.onestopenglish.com/community/teacher-talk/teachers-letters/latin-america/galpagos-islands-a-volunteers-view/145859.article[/url]”>http://www.onestopenglish.com/community/teacher-talk/teachers-letters/latin-america/galpagos-islands-a-volunteers-view/145859.article&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Au Pair abroad
Rotary scholarship for high school students abroad
CityYear
BonnerProgram
are all possibilities.</p>

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<p>" The thing is, even with schools that do that (like Barnard), I’m still expected to pay something I can’t. I don’t know what to do. If I don’t get into Barnard (or even Scripps), which is really likely, what’s next? I have nothing"</p>

<p>??If you get into a school that covers most expenses, you do what most everyone else does who has parents who can’t afford to pay…you get a loan. I’m not a proponent of large loans, but if you only have to borrow 5-10K/yr to get a great education, it’s worth it. Just realize that you will need to work a part time job during the school year, or work in the summers to pay this down. Shoot, you could pay it off with a good enough job before you even graduate. Unless you plan on going into a low paying career field after graduation, it really isn’t that much money. It beats the option of not going to school at all. Or look at schools a few steps down from what you think your best bets are, maybe there will be some that offer you quite a bit of $$, even if they aren’t at the top of your list.</p>

<p>Why not consider applying to schools that will accept you, then allow you the gap year. Then, you don’t even have to worry about applying afterwards. Obviously during your gap year, you need to make some money. Perhaps you can live at home and work full time for six months, then do an intl job that makes you some money for six months.</p>

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<p>Well, of course, but when I did the EFC calculators, the max. loans were already factored into the estimated aid. I’m talking about the EFC, what you’re supposed to pay yourself. I thought that as a freshman and sophomore you could only take out up to $5500. Unless you mean through private loans, which I’ve never considered and thought were sort of risky. </p>

<p>I’ve also read that when a parent files for bankruptcy, he or she can’t take out loans to help…not that I would ever want my mom to.</p>

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<p>EFC = what you and your mom are expected to pay.
If your mom is filing for bankruptcy, your EFC should be very low.
Look into the 100% need schools. They’re typically the most selective but also the most generous.
[100%</a> Meet Need Colleges | CollegeGreenlight](<a href=“Colleges with Need-Blind Admission for U.S. Students”>Colleges with Need-Blind Admission for U.S. Students)
Some of them have a no-loans policy so that the “student contribution” is met with the federal loan and work study.
Run the NPCs on EACH site, since each college decides what your “need” is. You can’t run the NPC on one site and expect similar results on other sites, since each college takes different things into account, may factor personal expenses and transportation into your package, or not, etc.
You’re absolutely right, private loans are risky.</p>

<p>Apply now and see what they offer. If you are admitted and can’t afford any school, just turn them down (but send an email to say it is because the FA offer isn’t sufficient due to your mother filing for bankrupcy), that you’ll take a gap year to volunteer/make money and will reapply. This way you won’t burn your bridges with the schools that admitted you and they may even reconsider your FA package.
CityYear provides a scholarship to students who complete their year with them. Look into it.</p>

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<p>I thought if anything my EFC would go up, considering now she has less debts and things to pay. I really have dug through all the 100% need schools countless times. The ones I think I have a realistic shot and am applying to are Barnard, College of the Holy Cross, Macalester, Scripps, Smith, University of Richmond, and Wellesley. I might add Bryn Mawr or Boston College. I’ve done the calculators for all of those multiple times. I’m definitely still applying this cycle. I’ve also done three state schools and 2 privates. My counselor is probably gonna tell me I’m doing too much because she thinks we should apply to 6 schools max, but my situation basically requires more. </p>

<p>Okay, say for instance I get into Wellesley, and, basing this off of their NPC calculation, my EFC is $6500 and the loans included in their aid are only $1800. Does that mean I could take out $3700 in federal loans to cover some of my EFC? Or are federal loans completely separate from the loans they give me, meaning I could take out $5500 in federal loans to cover the rest? Because if so, either way, it’s doable. But it just seems too easy.</p>

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<p>If you are good enough to get admitted to Barnard and Holy Cross, then you are probably good enough to get large merit aid at schools a tier below that.</p>

<p>Look up the automatic merit scholarship thread in the fora. There are schools that offer big automatic merit scholarships to students.</p>

<p>There are also schools that offer large merit scholarships. An example is University of Alabama, which offers significant aid. I know that Iowa State also offers significant scholarships to OOS students. A private college I know that has good financial aid is Agnes Scott College, a small women’s college which often does it to lure women away from places like Mount Hokyoke and Wellesley. Dickinson, Kenyon, Wooster, Furman, St. Olaf, Rhodes, St. Lawrence, Beloit, Lawrence University, Earlham, Muhlenberg, Lewis & Clark, and Kalamazoo are all great liberal arts colleges that offer large merit scholarships to students. They are competitive of course, but you might be competitive for many.</p>

<p>Many top schools (including Wellesley) limit the loans they offer to students through the NPC, but yes, you could borrow an additional $3,700 to cover some of the EFC. The $1,800 they already offer you, however, are part of the federal loan program.</p>

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<p>Thanks, the loan thing is definitely reassuring. I’m not an amazing applicant for any of those schools, though. My GPA is great, but my ACT is only 30. It’s in the middle 50% for most of those schools, but still…I’m retaking, but I’ve looked at that thread a lot and it seems like all of the good scholarships require 32/33. I was hoping that my first-gen URM status would help me some. Still, I’m hoping to get a better score. I’m also applying to Rhodes. I’ve decided to apply to all five of the “sisters” …I think as long as I get into one, I’ll be good because they all gave me great estimates. I’d be happy to go to any of them, so fingers crossed. The loan thing has just eased a lot of stress regarding financial aid.</p>

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<p>I had a gap year, had a fantastic time, and would recommend it to (almost) anyone. I worked full time for 7 months, and then went to Australia for 6 months on a working holiday visa.</p>

<p>In terms of finding places to go, then
[Help</a> Exchange: free volunteer work exchange abroad Australia New Zealand Canada Europe](<a href=“http://www.helpx.net%5DHelp”>http://www.helpx.net)
[Workaway.info</a> the site for free work exchange. Gap year volunteer for food and accommodation whilst travelling abroad.](<a href=“http://www.workaway.info%5DWorkaway.info”>http://www.workaway.info) and
WWOOF
are all fairly good at matching you up with people who will trade your labour for bed and board. You’ll have to check out the visa situation fairly carefully though - you don’t automatically have the right to work or volunteer anywhere in the world (sounds obvious, but I’m afraid it isn’t to some people). Do be aware that Spain has 56% youth unemployment (seriously), so don’t count on being able to find paid work there, for instance. </p>

<p>If you really want to teach English abroad, then a TEFL certificate will help you enormously. Steer clear of

  • places that will allow you to teach for only a short period of time (this results in horror stories about kids in developing nations being taught ‘heads, shoulders, knees and toes’ for three months straight by a succession of white teenagers who think they’re saving the world)
  • anything involving orphanages (not for your sake, for theirs - a constant succession of caregivers causes psychological problems surrounding emotional attachments + kids are bought and sold by orphanages for tourists to hug)
  • anything that requires you to pay for more than your airfare and rent (usually a sign that the work you will be doing is a jolly for you rather than being of actual use).</p>