<p>I'm a 19 year old girl who just finished her freshman year of college. I really need some advice on a very bad problem. Fall 2011 I started my freshman year at a local state university. I lived on campus and came home every weekend. I didn't do very well and became homesick. Overall I only passed 2 classes out of 5. So I decided to stay home and go to a community college for Spring 2012. Again, I just finished this semester and passed 2 out of 3 of my classes. I feel like I've lost motivation for school and am just doing for my parents. To my parents college is very important, so no matter what I eventually have to get a degree in their eyes. I either want to go into criminal justice, occupational therapy, or photojournalism. ( I know very different careers)</p>
<p>To shorten things up, I just want to know if I should just take this Fall 2012 semester off and just focus on having a job and maturing up. I don't believe that I'm mature enough or motivated enough to be in college right now. Both my parents agreed together that they would pay for my college 1-3 years if I got all B's. Since, I'm not getting all B's I have to start taking out loans this Fall 2012 if I want to continue school. What should I do?</p>
<p>Based on what you’ve said, it sounds to me like you would definitely benefit from taking some time off from school. As a parent, I would recommend at least a semester or two - maybe even more. After you’ve worked for a while, you’ll know when you’re ready to go back to school. And when you’re really ready, you’ll be much more successful.</p>
<p>I’m a parent too, and I think it is a good idea to figure out what you want to do in college as you seem to have lost your motivation. Going to college to please someone else is not going to motivate you. Staying in school and collecting more bad grades is only giving you a sense of failure, and collecting a poor academic record. On top of that, taking out loans is debt you will need to pay off later.
Working is a good start, but working may not help you find your passion in life. It will help you mature. However, losing your motivation may be a symptom of something else. Is it possible you may be depressed? Sometimes a person could have a small learning difference that catches up with them in college. Both these could affect your concentration. Perhaps you could talk this over with your parents and then consider seeing a career counsellor, or someone who could be of support to you. Besides working, which is important, consider spending some of your extra time doing volunteer work in a field you may be interested in. You may then find what you are really passionate about.</p>
<p>Thanks to both of you for your advice. Pennylane2011, actually I do have depression. I was “diagnosed” my sophomore year of high school. I currently am on anti-depressants and a medication for anxiety. Depression I will have to say has honestly been one of the factors in my college performance. I just hate admitting that depression has to do with it.</p>
<p>Depression can affect your concentration and motivation as well as your energy to do things. I hope you are able to talk to your parents and even have your doctor talk to them so that they understand the impact of what you are going through. College can be a stressful transition for many students. I think if you can get a handle on the depression and anxiety, it will help your motivation and achievement in school. I know a few students who had to stop to take care of their emotional health and when they went back to school they did better. I hope you and your family can come to some agreement for a plan to work,rest, get exercise, nutrition, and get good medical care so that you can feel better and get back to school. Still stay involved with working and volunteering and doing things to help you find what you want to do.</p>
<p>I understand you what you mean by being burned out school. High school in general was a struggle for me and since the first half of college is just an extension of high school, I still struggled quite a bit. It took my a semester longer then most to get my AA. </p>
<p>Honestly, to get through college you need to have that motivational spark. I was able to get through that first half, now onto classes I actually care about (it was hard though) and I don’t miss my community college days in the least bit, aside from some great connections with some instructors. </p>
<p>Nothing wrong with taking time off from school in the least bit. One of the wisest teachers in the education system said it best when sometimes students just need to take time off and come back when they are ready. </p>
<p>The way the world works now a days is you either go to school or begin working somewhere to gain experience in some field. A relative of mine dropped out of college, started working as a busboy and worked up through being a waiter, to manager, to the franchise part, did a partner ship with someone else and now within several people owns about 5 restaurants in Florida, makes in the 6 figures.</p>
<p>I’ve taken time off before, sort of. In the end, I felt like I accomplished nothing. But that’s just me. Summer time is a good way to recharge your morale. I would get involved in activities and things like that. I would not recommend you take summer off AND fall semester off. That’s a long time man! If you can find a job/internship, then great. There’s no guarantee you won’t get homesick again on your job, though. You probably won’t get a good internship with all those F’s. Lastly, if you’re like me, you want to get school over with asap. Delaying an extra semester might not only put you off in terms of your progress, it will also probably force you to start over in building your social circle. IMO, summer break is plenty of time to get over whatever predicament you might be facing.</p>
<p>Just my 2 cents. Take it with a grain of salt. Not everybody is the same. I know a guy in aero e who’s done with his degree, but wants to stay extra semesters taking history classes at a community college that’s 30 min commute away. (???) Maybe he just wants to stick around his frat and enjoy it’s perks for another year, who knows.</p>
<p>Once I bring the news of my grades to my parents sometime soon,they’ve been harassing me about knowing my grades, I will ask their opinion on what to do. I’m also having a hard time finding a job too. I’ve been hired in two places (pinkberry and chipotle) but was “let go” because I had anxiety attacks during training. Wow, writing this all out makes me feel like SUCH A SAD CASE. Everything is just going all wrong in my life lately…</p>
<p>Are you seeing a therapist? Perhaps they could help you work through these issues. If you are seeing a therapist but feel he/she isn’t helping, consider switching. Not all therapists are equal. Best of luck!</p>
<p>melixx28, I am so sorry that you are going through this. In light of your depression and anxiety, it does not appear to me that your “problem” is due to a lack of maturity at all. I think that the struggles you’re experiencing are due almost entirely to the depression. Once you get the depression and anxiety under control, you will feel so much better and I believe that you’ll be ready for school again. </p>
<p>If you are currently being treated with anti-depressants and/or therapy and you are still having trouble, it’s very possible that you have an undiagnosed thyroid condition (which is actually quite common among women). If you have not had your thyroid tested, please do that as soon as possible. Thyroid conditions can cause both a horrible, debilitating depression and severe anxiety - and they are often missed by doctors who just don’t think to test for them. If it is a thyroid condition, it’s quite inexpensive and easy to treat - and will make a world of difference for you and how you feel. Low levels of Vitamin D can also cause severe depression and can be tested at the same time as thyroid function. Vitamin D deficiency is even easier to treat.</p>
<p>If you’re freaking out during job training, then your situation might be more serious than I presumed. Maybe your parents would understand and help you in the right way; maybe they are out of touch (mine are like that). You’re the best person to decide whether you should share everything and get their support, or find someone else to help you pull through this. I was depressed once, and my parents chastised me for my lack of conviction. T’was the dark ages for me.</p>
<p>I will second coloradogreycat, and get a good check up for physical causes- thyroid, vitamin D, as well as general health, Even low iron can make you feel sluggish. You are not a failure at all. Depression and anxiety are tough to deal with, and as colorado cat said there are some physical causes that could be checked out.
I am glad you reached out to people on this board for help but it is also important to seek out help at home. Is there someone you can talk to face to face- therapist, clergy, counselor? Depression is not your fault, nor is it due to any failure on your part. You have a lot of life and possibilities ahead of you. As much as your parents want to see you do well, they want you to feel well more.</p>
<p>I agree with the above posters about getting a handle on the depression and anxiety before you go back to college. Also, you likely need a medication change. If you are having these symptoms, your medication isn’t working. You should see a good psychiatrist to have your meds reevaluated. Things will get better. Really.</p>
<p>You guys are right on the money. See, I was officially diagnosed with depression my sophomore year of high school. From then on I went from medication to medication. I’ve had to cut one out which was working good for me emotionally but the physical side effects out weighted that (seizures). Right before I went to college I had a bunch of tests done and my thyroid is okay thankfully, and so are all my other tests. The only thing that I needed to work on was my iron intake because I was anemic (I’m fine now). As for therapy, I’ve been bouncing back and forth with therapist. (I’ve had 3 in the last 4 years :/) I’ll have to talk to my parents about this situation this week.</p>
<p>To make things short!, thank you ALL who replied and have offered GREAT advice.</p>
Everything is just going all wrong in my life lately…</p>