okay I won’t get into much detail because it is too personal and it still kinda hurts.
Basically I transferred from one high school to another one after freshman year because I was in a toxic and mentally abusive relationship and wanted to put a stop to it and have a new start.
I’ve tried my best to not look back at it. But I was kinda forced to look back into it when Common App asked me why I transferred.
I talked about wanting a new and supportive environment but didn’t necessarily got into the reason behind it. It’s too personal and I feel that it would be awkward to talk to consoler. But the result was some really really bad writing bc I was trying so hard just to stay on the surface.
I don’t know, should I just get it all out for good? Or would colleges hate a story like this?
Congratulations on making a tough decision that improved your life.
Write the paper you want to write. The paper where you tell everything, reveal you deepest, innermost feelings about the relationship and how it affected your life. The paper where you tell exactly how much that relationship hurt you. Stay within the word count.
Then, immediately after finishing that paper, write another paper. One where you talk about all the academic benefits of the transfer, personal benefits of the transfer, logistical benefits of the transfer, and social benefits of the transfer. Do not mention the toxic relationship at all in this paper.
File the first paper away where you can read it whenever you want. Use the second paper for the Common App.
Just give a short answer about what the new school offered you - better math classes, a marching band, Model UN, a better theater dept - whatever you liked about the new school.
My kids went to 3 high schools, because my job changed.
Agreeing with the above: the place to “get it all out for good” is NOT your college application. They don’t actually particularly care what the answer is, and I suspect is rarely attended to much. “Better opportunities” is perfectly valid, and can pertain to anything from APs offered to sports offered to a different student body. You don’t have to elaborate.
If it helps, think of a college application as a job application: you have your personal life and your professional life. The people doing the choosing want to know if you are the right person for the job., not about your personal relationships.
I agree with twinanddone. Keep it short, simple, and professional. Do not share the personal details of the toxic relationship.
Toxic relationship is none of their business. Your college application is a “marketing piece” intended to showcase how you can contribute to life on campus. You do not need to confess things that might be considered negatively (except as far as disciplinary records, etc. are required). On the off chance that it will make an admission officer, who knows nothing about you, question whether you will adjust well to their school, you should leave it out.
ETA — agree with @collegemom3717 that they don’t really care how you answer the question and won’t pay much attention to the answer, unless it says something like, “I set my old school on fire and burned it to the ground and they wouldn’t let me come back when it reopened.”
@EconPop Thank you, this is so kind and heart warming:)!
@CIEE83 Thank you for bringing the possible negative effect up. I’m doing actually better after I transferred.
Yes, I guess instead of this my grades, ec and interests should be suffice and what I want to use to present myself
@twoinanddone got it. thx!
@collegemom3717 Yes, thank you for rationalizing it for me!