Should students with mental illnesses come home from college/stay home?

<p>Assuming the parents would be more agressive in seeing their kid got treatment if they could actually see the kid on a daily basis, no? I've obviously opened a good two dozen cans of worms with this topic, which I regret, but the replies have been interesting...</p>

<p>I think ADad's point, which is a good one, is that someone who doesn't want help isn't going to be helped. The only thing is that parents and a therapist may be able to get the student to recognize that he needs help and accept it.</p>

<p>i was diagnosed with OCD and extreme depression when i was 14 and im going away to college. im on meds and see a therapist regularly. im confident ill be fine moving away to college.</p>

<p>just giving some perspective...</p>

<p>If the high-functioning student returns home, and if that student becomes willing to accept help, and if the parents are constructive and supportive, one must also consider (as NewHope33 suggested) what the student will be doing with his/her time outside of therapy. </p>

<p>Perhaps the high-functioning student would be more open to intensive therapy during the summer. Then, time might be more readily available and the student would not be missing regular school. The treatment of some disorders, such as the OCD mentioned above, may require a fair number of hours at first but not for an extended period of time. The summer might be an ideal time to make progress on such disorders.</p>

<p>Still, the willingness of the student, and the understanding, acceptance, and constructive support from the parent(s), would appear to be very important for real progress to occur. As Northstarmom said, a licensed therapist should be involved from the start. For one thing, the therapist could try to see that both parent(s) and student understand how each can best help foster progress.</p>

<p>It occurs to me that, for many high-functioning mentally ill students, college is a perfectly good use of their time. They may not be having the optimal "college experience", but they are unlikely to have the optimal anything experience due to their mental illness. If they are capable of doing college work and learning, and capable of avoiding college pitfalls, college will often be a better option than marking time at home while they undergo therapy.</p>

<p>Of course, the presence of mentally ill students at college can be uncomfortable for other students. (See my post above.) But so what? If employers have a responsibility to accommodate people with physical disabilities (and mental disabilities, too, to some extent), why shouldn't all of us learn to accept a little discomfort in order to accommodate people with mental illness. I'm not talking about undergoing danger, I'm talking about putting up with people who are a little weird or "off". It happens all the time in the real world, why should college students be exempt?</p>

<p>I think we need better supports for non-patients (again, see above, and think about what Cho's roommates' experience was like at VT). And I think we need a better system for identifying people who may cross the line into dangerousness, obviously.</p>

<p>Also, many mental illnesses have little, if any, effect on other students, unless they are very close to the student in question. And even "public" mental illnesses have a very ambiguous effect. Early in her career, my wife had a colleague who pretty clearly had some form of Asperger's at a significant level. His social skills were awful, his personal hygiene inconsistent, and he was difficult to work with. He was also absolutely brilliant, and extremely productive. So working with him was both uncomfortable and very rewarding. (He ultimately joined a Washington think-tank, where his need to collaborate face-to-face with others was minimized, and his very valuable work got broad dissemination.)</p>

<p>As the parent of a daughter who was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder a couple of years ago just prior to going off to college, I feel the need to post in order to clarify some misconceptions regarding mental illness. First of all, each mental illness is different and each PERSON is different. Bipolar II Disorder is different than Bipolar I Disorder, with Bipolar II usually having more of the depressive component. The only danger my daughter presents is a danger to herself when she is severely depressed. The past 2 years have been a true learning experience for our family with regard to mental illness and a long struggle to determine the right medications for my daughter. She has a great support team including a psychiatrist, therapist, and nutritionist but it has been a hard road and will continue to be for the rest of her life. </p>

<p>As far as the OP's question as to whether those diagnosed with mental illness should delay college, I think that depends on the individual. I am glad our daughter was diagnosed prior to going off to college because I feel that it would have been extremely difficult to find the help she needed in a college counseling center. She did "lose" a year due to depression and working on the right medication combination, but she has been attending our community college and working part-time for the past year. I believe she will be able to transfer to a 4-year university when the time comes but I would make sure that the support system was in place before she went.</p>

<p>And by the way, JHS, you wouldn't even know she was a little "off" (to quote you) unless you were a very close friend who witnessed her depression.</p>

<p>Of course, 1955. I was trying to make that point at the end of my post -- that in most cases a kid's psychiatric issues will barely, if at all, affect any other students, or even be perceived by them. In general, I was focusing on the cases that are more visible, and which are also more problematic.</p>

<p>I will say, however, that both of my kids have had friends who suffered from fairly severe depression, and that the effect of the friends' depression on my children -- worry, guilt (how much should they tell the friend's parents, or us?) -- was not completely negligible. For each depressed child, there were probably five or six other kids close enough to feel involved in the issues.</p>

<p>The trouble is, the shades of Bi-polar illness are many. Categories I and II don't really cover it. I would agree that those mental patients who do not suffer psychotic breaks are less dangerous to their community. </p>

<p>My bi-polar brother graduated from college. He was terribly lonely, (lots of girls and girlfriends but no guy friends--not one) because he was undiagnosed and unmedicated and couldn't read social cues to save his life. However, he still had that fabled college experience. That college experience allowed him to marry Wonder Woman and that five year marriage gave him so many pleasurable memories that he drew upon during his subsequent hospitalizations and imploding limitations. As it turns out, his social misery at college was a wiffle in the breeze compared to the hardships he later endured. He doens't have that happy ever after ending. He is finally happy and stable--twenty years into his illness--but he isn't a brilliant academic in a think tank. Far from it. Anyway, college was worth it. For him it was the pinnacle of his ambition. None of us knew that was the pinnacle at the time and it took all of us about fifteen years to accept his altered reality and let go of our expectations. The denial thing.</p>

<p>In retrospect, we were lucky. Even though no one knew it at the time--he had a very severe case of bi-polar illness along with the smarts to make him extremely high functioning when he wasn't manic or depressed.</p>

<p>He could have hurt someone if he had experienced a psychotic break at school even though violence has not been a factor in his adult life. </p>

<p>Post-Cho, it's a sobering thought.</p>

<p>JHS,</p>

<p>Yes, you're right--depression doesn't just affect the one suffering from it. I know my daughter lost one very good friend due to her depression. Her friend just didn't know what to do and withdrew from the friendship. You can't blame them as it is difficult enough to deal with as a parent and it is your own child suffering let alone as a young teenager (they were around 14 at the time). Thanks for bringing up the issue from the other point of view.</p>

<p>There are a lot of differences in mental illnesses BUT...we have only talked about the person who has the problem, what about everyone else they deal with- their roommate, their friends and any other relationships they have. My D was just involved with someone who escalated down during 2nd semester and it was way over her head dealing with someone with these issues. We've talked to her constantly, she's been to see the counselor and I feel like the whole school administration and profs were dealing with the person with her. A) I feel sorry for the student with the illness to have come to that point B) I am glad that there was a support network there for her. C) I think it was too much to handle as a freshman. Could the parents have done anything about it? Maybe not, because until he had this relationship, maybe he was ok. Maybe not because he was not forthcoming with his parents. BUT, I do think that more than just looking at the student with the issues, there is a need to look at how they will be with the people they come in contact with. If he had hurt himself or worse, that would have been a hard thing to deal with.</p>

<p>For those with a genetic pre disposition to certain mental disorders, depression in particular, a bad fit, combined with social isolation, and a demanding curriculum, I'd think could certainly push a student over the edge. Into depression, OCD, eating disorders or whatever the particular student tends towards. </p>

<p>You'd hope all who are going off to college have the emotional resiliency to deal with the ups and downs of the situation. But remove someone from known surroundings and sources of emotional support, with intense demands, I'd think could be quite difficult for those who don't aren't easy adapters.</p>

<p>My son (age 21) has been diagnosed with Bipolar II, Dysthymia (Depression), Anxiety and ADHD. He first showed symptoms in spring of his senior year of high school and the past three years have been a roller coaster ride as he tried to attend college in Fall 2004 but withdrew 8 weeks later because he was too overwhelmed to attend classes. Two years at home followed as he received much professional help and had many changes of medication. </p>

<p>He went back to college this past fall with a complete support team in place on campus and he also had disability accomodations. Unfortunately he managed only to complete two courses this whole year- withdrew from the rest without failing them since his college therapist and psychiatrist signed off on it. He had had at least two bouts of severe depression while at school this year. He would tend to just shut down- not come out of his dorm room, not eat, not answer the door if friends came by, turn his cell phone off (usually my sign that something was very wrong), and sleep sleep sleep. During these times he would obviously miss classes and exams so he would put himself in dire academic shape. He had an absentee roommate so there was no one in and out of the room daily that might have spotted my son's emotional slide. I know it was not a roommate's responsibility to monitor him but I often wished there was someone in the room with him who could have let me or an RA know that something was wrong. Then we could take it from there. I usually figured out when things were not right with my son and on two occasions "broke protocol" and called his campus therapist and psychiatrist to put them on notice that my son was doing poorly. It was tricky stuff since the professionals were not allowed to discuss him with me but I found they were always grateful for the "heads up" and without compromising my son's privacy we were able to work together to get my son to come in to see them for some help. (One night my son even walked himself to the local hospital ER when he was feeling very depressed) </p>

<p>Anyway, my son made it through the entire year at college. Not an academic success but he feels the year away from home taught him a lot about having to manage his own affairs and health issues. He does not want to go back in the fall but says he values education and hopes to go back to school someday. By his own choice he is now living with a group of his best hometown friends in a house they rent just outside Boston (far from our hometown). I have many misgivings about this but am relying on my own therapist's advice to see how it unfolds for him as this is the first time my son has devised a plan for his own life that he is enthusiastic about. And maybe, just maybe, this plan will work out for him because he wants it so much. My job is to stand back and offer support from afar but let him follow this path that I never expected for him. It has been a long emotional road for me to begin to accept that his road through life will probably never be what I thought it would be. I highly recommend finding a good "talk person" or therapist or support group to any parent dealing with this sort of thing.</p>

<p>In this society, we are so into being politically correct and so many parents are into denial about the capabilities of their child, and don't want to admit there is something wrong. Somehow, if they can get the kid into school, get him/her to do well, then they will be fine, just like all the other kids. (I know-it isn't everyone - there are many that don't do this) As a teacher, I have seen this attitude escalating. If it were my child, I would seek help for my child first, make sure that the problem has been alleviated, then worry about college. Whoever said that you had to go at 18? More maturity usually makes for a better student, anyway. It's hard to find an answer. There are those that will do fine, but others will do what Cho did. How can one tell? Psychology is not an exact science, although the scariest certainly can be predicted by the professional. BUt even they can't predict which ones will get better with therapy. It's those borderline ones that function, but could go off at any moment and haven't, that are the concern. I think what we all want is a crystal ball, so we can say this one goes, this one doesn't. It doesn't work that way. What we really need to do is become proactive in getting help for those students that need it, and let schools off the hook for demanding it. If our legislators can have immunity from prosecution, then why can't schools over this issue? There would be certain guidelines before something could be done, such as the child must submit to evaluation by 3 professionals, who must all agree, and if the child doesn't then he/she is suspended until that happens. Just a suggestion. Perhaps others have better ideas. I have been stewing over this, trying to find a way for everyone concerned to be dealt with fairly. And a friend's son had real problems with his freshman roommate who had had previous mental health issues, and they became exacerbated at college. He and friend contacted the school authorities and when they finally went to the Dean, and the boy was told he had to leave (he had threatened friend's son with a knife and the RA said they should all sit down and talk!? And he was cutting himself and not taking his meds) they told him it was because of the roommate and his reports! (The Dean's office definitely needs to learn how to deal with this more properly) The boy came back, and started threatening, etc., and friend's son, not knowing what to do, picked him up and threw him into the hall, and told him to leave. The young man and his parents filed criminal charges, and it cost my friend lots of $ to get everything dismissed. Those are the kinds of parents that I am talking about. They stick their heads into the sand and think that this will solve the problem - force the kid into a normal life, and he will be normal! I think 3 professionals would have agreed that this young man needed more help than a college can offer.</p>