<p>Work in a location where you do not have access to electronic distractions.</p>
<p>As is often the case, I think this discussion does not adequately distinguish between “studying” and completing assigned work, like papers and problem sets. For assignments, the ideal is to start early, don’t leave them until the night before, consult with professor or TA on topics well before due date, be neat.</p>
<p>I agree with blossom. Your manifesto is a great “Here, this will help you develop your study plan.” You son is better off receiving these tips and the going back and establishing his own manifesto. </p>
<p>“Late adolescent magical thinking” OMG! So true</p>
<p>There is a ton of great information here thank you all @blossom I totally agree with you on the collaboration needed for this to work. Perhaps “manifesto” is more of a figure of speech. S was given the task to read a couple of study skills books we provided and find 3 web sources and bring his best ideas to a brainstorming session where together we hope to identify a handful of novel approaches to practice this summer. The list is simply my own contribution to the project. I knew I could count on posters here to help me improve my list.</p>
<p>I consider these skills tools. In the hands of a craftsman anything is possible in the hands of the unskilled they are useless. So identifying is only part one, practice and assessment is next. The most important part is completely up to him utilization. Since we are reluctant to send him back without more evidence that he is serious. This gives him a chance to show us he is truly engaged in the self improvement process.</p>
<p>Your son needs to own this…not you.</p>
<p>My son’s advice to college students…do your homework ASAP after you receive it. In other words, if you have a class, and get an assignment…and have an hour between classes…do the work. Getting the work done ASAP means the info is fresh in your mind to do so, and also, it’s then DONE. DS did not save his homework until Sunday night. He wanted to relax then. He did it ASAP after it was assigned.</p>
<p>Agreed that having any plan isn’t going to mean a thing until the student identifies the need for it, and where the breakdown in studies came.</p>
<p>Failure is a great teacher. Let him own this, as someone put it, and if he fails, it may be okay in the long run. Have you yourself talked with a counselor at all? I think some outside help would be good, whether for you as proxy or for your son.</p>
<p>SD, the list of courses your son is taking is daunting if they are not in his area of strength…is he fully committed to pursuing this major to the exclusion of other majors that might involve more of his natural strengths?</p>
<p>One of my friends was fully committed to her son becoming a doctor…in high school he had been a top student by dint of non-ending hard work and by taking advantage of every bit of extra points he could get. In college–he met his match academically, plain old hard work didn’t do it any more. Because he felt over his head academically, he adopted a “screw it” attitude–and instead of putting in any serious effort at all, put his efforts into just about everything else instead.</p>
<p>You and he need to have a serious discussion as to whether he wants to pursue this course of study, or some other. You also need to discuss with him if maybe he just does not have the natural ability to be competitive in this field. All the parental manifestoes in the world aren’t going to produce the desired results if the student’s heart isn’t in it, or if he is incapable of producing the work at the necessary level.</p>
<p>If he truly wants this area of study, you shouldn’t be needing to circumscribe his daily routine. And prescribing his daily routine is not going to produce your desired results if he does not know HOW to study effectively for the courses he is taking–he needs to get help with study skills, most likely by working with a professional coach who could diagnose his weaknesses/strengths and help him develop the skills he needs. Also, if he has basic academic weaknesses from a less than optimal high school education, or weak work with introductory college classes, he will need to remediate his level of knowledge to be successful.</p>
<p>I was a similar student to your son except my grades were better (but still sub 3.0) I had zero study habits. I thought I knew how to study and learn because I did well in high school. I would NOT pay much attention to your “manifesto”. I realize it contains many good ideas and suggestions on how to be a better student. Even now, I didn’t get beyond “Avoid or eliminate alcohol” although I skipped down to “wraparound” and then my eyes glazed over the questions. </p>
<p>Sorry to be so blunt. But I think you need to get inside his head instead of trying to change his to match yours (or that of the typical CC student). Would I follow a list of stuff written by my father or mother? No. (sorry). I may have the best intentions to do so but chances are, when I start reading the manifesto, I’d roll my eyes and mutter “that won’t work for me” and put it away.</p>
<p>As a mediocre student, I probably would have worked best with a person (who is not my parent). I definitely needed someone (study group, tutor, study coach, professor, grad student) on campus to guide me through all the things that are probably on your manifesto: picking a place to study, what’s the best time, study methods - which one works best, the difference between general study and studying for a test, etc. The main thing to consider - all these differ from person to person. What worked for you may not work for your son. Also the study habits of the A+ student who graduated Phi Beta Kappa worked for that A+ student but they may not transfer to your son (I know this because my siblings were Phil Beta Kappa and of course, I wasn’t. I tried doing what I thought they did - it didn’t work).</p>
<p>I agree with parents who say, he needs to own his failures before he has the motivation to improve. I will say there is hope. I did go on to graduate school, earning a professional degree and graduating as the top student of my class. How did I do it? I stopped trying to be my siblings - I changed my field, went to a second-tier (at that time) grad school and things became easier. I don’t think the work was easier - the field just suited me much better than my old majors.</p>
<p>I’m going to ditto boysx3–it may not be just study skills, it may be his natural talents lie in another field of study altogether. The courses do not get easier–there are a lot more to come after this particular hurdle. Does he really want to pursue this major?</p>
<p>Singersdad…you know I’m in your corner and are even in your shoes. I really think this might be too much. So much so, that it will be ignored. I’ve already said in your other thread how I feel about Coaching, if the student isn’t the one asking for it he won’t be engaged and it’s money down the drain. I also had my son do a couple of things (answering to me) to be able to stay in school. But it was something maybe a bit more concrete. I wanted to teach him how to put together a calendar…something that he might look at and panic when he saw it and then realized what he was NOT doing. Those monthly calendars and syllabus’s were given to me when completed so i could see them. I would email with him on a regular basis (once a week or every other week) asking if he did this, how was his test, etc…because I knew what was expected of him every week. Honestly, I doubt if he even does the calendars anymore, but it was just ONE thing…and he did much better that 2nd semester. After that, I just let go…completely.</p>
<p>He’s doing better in MOST of his classes and you know why? Because the frat he wanted to pledge wouldn’t let him because of his grades. Wow…to be rejected by his peers did more than anything DH and I could have said. His grades still aren’t good enough, but it was amazing the difference in what he did do (go to all classes!) compared to before. </p>
<p>I would pick just a few of those things…something concrete that he can give you or show you that he is learning one or two skills. All of them are overwhelming, and like slackerMom, I would have blown them off, too. I was even skipping thru them.</p>