<p>Sword fights with the umbrellas. That reminds me of a story.</p>
<p>Once my best friend and my 2 and her 4 (at the time) were out to lunch at a Chinese restaurant. One of her boys - the 6-year old - knocked the teapot onto my lap. The water was boiling hot, and as I stood up in shock, I remembered reading that the hot water in my jeans could burn me. So I took the nearest glass of ice water and threw it at myself.</p>
<p>Kids thought that was really cool. Anyway, lots of ice wound up on the table. The same boy who had knocked the tea onto me sat staring at the piles of ice cubes. He batted one across the table with his fork. Then another. He said to himself, "Ice." Then, in an aha! kind of tone, he said out loud to us all, "Ice. Hockey!" He figured he finally knew what people meant by ice hockey, having heard it discussed but never having seen it played.</p>
<p>Note: He did apologize for having knocked the tea on me. He is a sweetheart, if a little obsessed with sticks and balls even to this day:)</p>
<p>Lol, Alumother! Speaking of ball obsessions, I read this today on a Four Seasons website describing their spa services..."Warmed golf balls are used to knead tight muscles and alleviate tension." :D </p>
<p>When I read it outloud to SluggJr, his deadpan response was, "Yeah, nothing like warm balls to alleviate tension." :eek:</p>
<p>Meanwhile, they're going to arm the Seniors with a lot of sharp sticks on grad night. I think I might have a crate of blowguns and slingshots leftover from my last Cargo Cult reunion. ;)</p>
<p>How about we all propose why we get to join the Cargo Cult and decide for ourselves if we qualify? Then it doesn't matter what it is...</p>
<p>I propose I get to join because I got Slugg, the queen of the LOL Omigod I hope nobody heard me LOL, to LOL. That is my greatest achievement of the last week. That and finding an herbal tea site on the Web and sending teas to AluD who was having the usual pre-exam period where's my mommy tremors.</p>
<p>I believe I qualify for the Cargo Cult as DS has worn nothing but cargo pants for a minimum of 5 years; he believes (believed?) they need to be ironed each morning after being picked up from their resting place on the floor (see Urban Moundbuilders, other thread) and.... my real qualification.... I converted DS to be his own Chief Ironer in 2003.</p>
<p><em>tosses hair, steps down from audition stage and acknowledges that the Cargo Cult probably has absolutely nothing to do with cargo pants</em></p>
<p>If showing ignorance is a qualification, I'm in.</p>
<p>I think if you hang out in Sinner's Alley, you automatically qualify as a member of a cargo cult. :) </p>
<ol>
<li><p>A characteristic feature of cargo cults is the belief that spiritual agents will at some future time give much valuable cargo and desirable manufactured products to the cult members.</p></li>
<li><p>Cult participants don't fully understand the significance of manufacturing or commerce. They have limited purchasing authority. </p></li>
<li><p>Their understanding of western society, religion, and economics may be rudimentary.</p></li>
<li><p>The most famous examples of cargo cult behavior are the airstrips, airports, and radios made out of coconuts and straw. Or, in our case, the drinking of coconut rum out of tiki mugs with straws and little umbrellas while singing, "Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up!" :D</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Y'gotta love parents of Seniors...the "mandatory" meeting last night...nine speakers in 20 minutes --No questions? Great! See ya! :) They sent home a Senior parent newsletter with some helpful suggestions:</p>
<p>Excerpt from Page 1: "Graduation is a special time and should be carried out with dignity." So, leave your wife-beaters and "I'm With Stupid" teeshirts at home and wear some shoes, damnit! </p>
<p>Excerpt from Page 2: "Senior Ball will be a dinner/dance. All attendees will be breathalyzed before and after the ball <a href="and%20maybe%20even%20during%20if%20you%20a*holes%20don't%20behave!">i</a>. :D</p>
<p>Excerpt from Page 3: "The time you spend on your family is a gift that you'll never regret offering to them." Hahahahaha, who are we kidding?! Of course, you'll regret it, but there's nothing you can do about it, so tough tooties, parents!</p>
<p>Excerpt from Page 4: "Dress Code: Boys are to wear shirts, ties, dress shoes, and appropriate pants. Girls are to wear dresses or dressy slacks and dress shoes. Girls may not wear stiletto heels." Boys, no lace-up leather thongs with rings, and girls, no teeshirts that say, "Wet, Wild, and Willing!" ;)</p>
<p>I should be in the cargo cult because I have an old car and it still goes...</p>
<p>Our dress code at work actually includes the phrase "appropriate undergarments must be worn." Who gets to make the call on the appropriateness, and do "lace up leather thongs, with rings" qualify?</p>
<p>Why don't parents have a Second Chances Thread?
Female
Weight between 120 and 210
Still have most of my own teeth
Smoker: only in Sinner's Alley - (Romeo y Julieta - cigars) :cool:
Drinker: occasional (except for S.A. when I can really cut loose ;) look for me passed out on the tangerine naugahyde booth in the back )</p>
<p>EC's : Personal Assistant,Chaffeur, Cook, Librarian: as in finding things,books,shoes etc, Laundress, Nag, cheap date for DH...</p>
<p>Hook: I can paint a copy of the Sistine Chapel ceiling inside a hen's egg, I read palms and tea cups if I feel like it, I once won a race with a race horse (ok so I had a wee head start...but I got to the damn gate before she did, and lived.)</p>
<p>So what do you think? What are my chances at winning a Nobel Prize, Retiring before the kids finish college, Attending Trumps next wedding, learning not to run from the room when DD & DH start discussing equations Pi :eek:, Pie , mmmmm, er yeah, what are my chances? What are my chances of living happily ever after? ...after the college application process...OMG, and I'm just at the begining! </p>
<p>Bring me a large Black Russian, and some Febreeze...gotta get rid of the tell tale cigar smoke from my sojourn in Sinner's Alley....</p>
<p>Ooo, a tangerine Naugahyde booth! I had no idea we were so styling in Sinner's Alley. ;) Give that woman a dink... (((hiccup)))...I mean a drink! :)</p>
<p>Sluggbugg, No Mechanical Devices were harmed in the telling of this tale. I am City Girl married to a Man Who Loves Horses. HIS horse; a 17 hand monster that hated me from the day it was born, one that had bitten me, kicked me (I flew 20' through the air), and rolled its eyes at me like a great white shark on hoofs, escaped from its paddock---(DH forgot to close the gate behind him :rolleyes: ) . </p>
<p>I was painting a fence on the driveway when I heard the thunder of hoofs, :eek: it was the She Devil, self preservation kicked in and I started running...made it to, and closed the swinging gate across the driveway, just as her chest crunched against my hands. I kept holding onto the gate, and heroically stopped her from escaping down the road and onto the highway into oblivion...hmmm .</p>
<p>Whew, makes my little out of shape heart pound just thinking about it :D</p>