<p>Slugg:
When the bike arrives (and arrive it shall), treat it gently. It will have been a long, long journey. Lubricate it with 3in1 oil, to loosen its tongue. Oh, the stories it will tell...</p>
<p>(I have got to get off CC, and get a life)</p>
<p>But don't leave Sinners Alley, optimizerdad :eek:. We are working hard to correct a gender imbalance. I'm thinking of approaching the Chicken Bucket Committee to see if we can offer merit $$ to sinners of the male persuasion. I'm afraid we have tipped dangerously past the coveted 50%/50% male/female profile.</p>
<p>I will make it very easy for you regarding the matter of attracting males to this alley(and by the way I have for some time been freed from my beer cellar, inhaling the fresh air above sea level) by reminding you that, among the many desires of our complicated and frequently undervalued psyches, our love of eating, our anticipation of eating, can lead us to hover in the vicinity of many locations where ordinarily, were the promise of such tasties
not palpable, we would dread being seen. So I will close my eyes for a while and if you take my advice, on the morrow a trail of men will be led by their nostrils upon the delirious clouds issuing from the alley where you prepare all the delicacies you have just ordered by phone and now re-heat as if your grandmothers had just shook their aprons out from heaven,..</p>
<p>I once worked on a construction porject with 2000 Koreans. They threw down XO brandy like it was warm water--and expected their guests to follow.</p>
<p>What was the expression they (we) shouted when downing the XO in a single gulp?</p>
<p>In China we say, I have no idea why, Ganbei!</p>
<p>Hmm. If I shake my apron all I get right now is keyboard dust. Must go purchase fresh-baked bread cologne.</p>
<p>BTW, as you must know cheers, the Koreans have the rep for being the hardest-drinking Asians around. Followed by the Northern Chinese. Must be those cold cold winters.</p>
<p>My sons tell me that Koreans also [url=<a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pwn%5Dpwn%5B/url">www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pwn]pwn[/url</a>] when it comes to online gaming. This probably doesn't relate to hard drinking, but there may be a trend in there somewhere.</p>
<p>A first: TJFH drove my car to school today to take his first ever AP exam, and will drive himself home afterwards, without me having to figure out a workable carpool arrangement. It's a new day. Mimosa, please?</p>
<p>One of my old pals from Brown worked for Fuji in Japan. (In Japan, the woman at the table pours, BTW.) And you don't stop drinking till the most senior person decides to call it a night. She recounted typical scenes of business executives' drunken excesses-- vomiting in the Tokyo subway, guys in 1000 dollar suits passing out on sidewalks, etc.</p>
<p>So if Korea and China are even worse, I shudder to think what's going on there.</p>
<p>But her best story about life in Japan was about her landlady, who was unaccustomed to a young-- and obviously not wealthy or powerful-- woman tenant being habitually delivered home by fancy towncar late at night. Remember this was in early '80's with relatively few executive women in Japan...</p>
<p>Anyway the landlady concluded my friend was a prostitute! One evening my friend came home to find all her possessions in the street!</p>
<p>I'll have a double. Whatever your hand is closest to, barkeep.</p>
<p>DS has mono. Middle of exam week. Took the first exam thinking maybe it was tonsillitis. Was miserable, but made it through. Who knows how he did? Now he's diagnosed with mono and has a Dean's rec to take incompletes in the remaining two exam courses, but only the prof can actually decide. Can't reach one of the profs - naturally, that's for the tomorrow 8am exam.</p>
<p>Can someone cut this kid a break?</p>
<p><em>blubbers into her beer</em></p>
<p>jmmom,</p>
<p>Gosh, what a freshman year this has been. Just when you thought nothing else could happen. He really does need a break. The transfer gods had better smile on him really big or they are going to have a marmot invasion on their hands. </p>
<p>I am sorry to hear that DS is sick. DD was sick last term during finals (S & S had to drive her sto student health where the held captive and said she was in no shape to take her finals). Her dean was great, even contacted the professors for her and she was able to take the exams when she got back on campus in the spring.</p>
<p>However, your son is leaving after this term so I guess the $64,000 question is how does he get his exams done especially when he is too sick to take them? I really hate beer, but for you, I'll throw back one.</p>
<p>Sybbie - he comes home for a week this Saturday and goes back one week later for Tulane's optional "lagniappe" term, where he'll be taking 10 credits. It's a compressed term format. Assuming he's not down for the count, that is.</p>
<p>So he can take the exams betw. 5/15 and 6/30. </p>
<p>The transfer gods have been good so far, but the lottery schools are still in decision-making mode. Don't you have a couple of discreet, tactful, get-the-job-done marmots to send over to <em>those</em> schools? Pre-empt the need for an invasion?</p>
<p>jmmom, as the low ranking female, I am pouring sake-- here's a shot. There... only 12 more and you will feel good! :) Then again, better not, or tomorrow you will feel worse than DS.</p>
<p>::whistling with pinky fingers in mouth::</p>
<p>MARMOTS!! Off you go to the "reach" Engineering programs! Rub your furry selves round the ankles of vacillating admissions officers until they begin to purr-- and do not leave until they toss jmmomS's app in the "admit" pile. </p>
<p>If you execute your mission, we will have cheetos, chex mix, and a veggie platter for you, along with a special hot tub screening of that very exciting national geographic flick, "Swedish Marmots."</p>
<p>That should do it, SBmom. jmmom can climb off her bar stool and head for sweet dreams now (it is 11 pm here EDT and it has been a <em>long</em> day). Either the marmots will succeed on your assigned mission or you can send them over to me at the end of the month to <em>adjust</em> my expectations. Buenos tardes.
<em>yawns</em></p>
<p>jmmom, sweet dreams.</p>
<p>The marmots will stand guard and confound any errant bedbugs, while hissing a nice rest-ful white noise soundtrack. You need a good night's sleep.</p>
<p>Healthy vibes to your son...</p>
<p>The Koreans are the Irish of Asia--both trying to drink away the sorrow of their bloody history.</p>
<p>Quick, SBmom, grab a marmot before they all leave! There's a slow one licking something off the floor underneath your chair... Okay, we're going to duct-tape a Get Well card to this little guy after everybody has signed the card:</p>
<p>TO JMSON --</p>
<p>*Heard a bad bugg gotcha
And made you feel crappy.
You're indisposed, the quarter blows,
And, your mother is not very happy!</p>
<p>So, take this opportunity
To recuperate and rest.
Our marmot doctors will make you soup,
And, steal the answer to your test!*</p>
<p>GET WELL SOON! We love ya, man! --Love, sluggbugg</p>
<p>Aww, slugg, jmmom cheers up at the offering from our resident Poet Laureate.</p>
<p><em>wonders how to pass on the ditty to jmson, when she never wants him to go near this site. not in a million marmot years :eek:</em></p>
<p>jmmom, how true!</p>
<p>jmmom:</p>
<p>since it won't be published, you could cut & paste without citing sources and share the poem with the boy yet not reveal your hidden habit ;) But it had better not show up on your H app!!</p>
<p>Well, I did one of the hardest things a woman can do yesterday.</p>
<p>No, I did not have a baby.
No, I did not break up.
No, I did not kiss my first-born good bye at college drop off.</p>
<p>I went bathing suit shopping. You know that fun, fun day we all face every year or two?</p>
<p>STEP ONE: Go through the racks of bathing suits. Linger momentarily over inviting sexy bikinis of yesteryear, now turned into cruel jokes, before moving on to suits with built-in foundational undergarments, enough fabric to be confused with shirts, and matching caftans. Try to find as simple and classic a malliot as possible... hopefully avoiding shirring, large flowers, and metallic bric a brac. You need to choose at least 8 suits to have a prayer of 1 being passably decent. Grab one "maybe" tankini, hoping against hope for a tan belly this year...</p>
<p>STEP TWO: Enter the dressing room. You know, the one with aquarium-style flourescent lighting. Why is it that the dressing room view of one's body is always so shocking, so lurid? This is the same body one sees daily in one's own home mirror. Is it the sniglets at the waist from the jeans worn all day? Is it the ultra-hasty changing speed causing awkward movements? It it the mid-winter, fish-belly-white timing of this annual torture? </p>
<p>Why is it that my flesh looks like raw bread dough in saran wrap?</p>
<p>STEP THREE: Evaluating the bathing suits. Some come off before they are even put on, so total a mismatch are they. Some make it all the way on and elecit a depressed sigh and a new vow of gym attendance before being rejected. Sadly, the tankini, too, floats to the floor.</p>
<p>STEP FOUR: Pick your Poison-- The suit that, with a sarong and a DAMN good tan, will be passably attractive. If everyone else at the beach is drunk, it will be even better. If I too am drunk, I will actually feel okay about it!</p>
<p>HOWEVER... I have to say that this hated errand was made ever so much sweeter this year. Smart mommy... I brought along my littlest son with me.</p>
<p>As I yanked off one offending suit and exclaimed, "I'm fat!" He said, "No you're not, Mom; you're plump!" </p>
<p>The next suit is peeled on; depressed silent squinting appraisal. Sigh. "Mom, that one looks pretty."</p>
<p>Now the tankini failing to please, sailing to the floor: "No, Mom; maybe you should buy that one. I like it."</p>
<p>Looking positively East German in the ultra-foundational speedo-style: "Mom, I love you" (along with a big hug.) <em>note: this child is honest.</em></p>
<p>Miracle of miracles, I pull on The Last Suit-- so not my typical color-- and...it...fits! And...it...looks...good! I will not be ashamed to go to the beach, with or without intervening gym time!</p>
<p>Littlest son: "Oh, Mom, I LIKE that one on you! It's really pretty. That's the one you're gonna get, huh? I bet Dad will like it."</p>
<p>:)</p>