Sinner's Alley Happy Hour (Part 1)

Parent Cafe Parent Cafe
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<p>So, me and a couple of my girlfriends decided to get into the hot tub this evening at the pool. There were a couple of young men (late teens/early twenties?) occupying it with another friend our age. Predictably, shortly after three more middle aged women entered the tub, they exited, saying, "Goodnight. We've got to go home now and watch Desperate Housewives!" Well, I mean the exiting was predictable. I had no idea that young men might be fans of "Desperate Housewives." </p>

<p>Didn't they realize they had a tub full of desperate housewives right there? But then, perhaps we seemed a little TOO desperate. :eek:</p>

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<p>Okay I just am going to drink my Mango slush before attempting to call the Collegeboard and plead son's case for a new test.
Unless your Marmot's did their job and found the dreaded thing this weekend. Though son is saying he doesn't want to take it during the week since it is such a disadvantage to him. He would have to miss 2 days of classes and be stressing out over all the schoolwork he is missing.
What I really need is Slugg to come take on the principal and counselor and whip them into shape</p>

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<p>mstee LOL!!</p>

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<p>Lol, mstee! You've managed to conjure up a mental picture that will stay with me for a while. The show is tame compared to what REAL desperate housewives have to face every day. A show based on the lives of real desperate housewives would be way too horrifying for television, and no one would watch! Not even the bottom-of-the-swamp viewers who sit through entire episodes of Trading Spouses. </p>

<p>It would begin with a woman who looks like she hasn't had a decent night's sleep for about 18 years...She gets out of bed at 4 a.m. just so she can have a couple of hours of peace. Her equally tired, but faithful dog follows her to the coffee pot, his overgrown nails sounding like a ticker tape machine when he walks. Her bosoms, which have a tendency to lag these days, eventually catch up. Two minutes after her ass slides into a big suede chair, her 4-cup, faded, plastic mug from DisneyWorld is empty, and she has to get up for a second cup. As she pads across the kitchen floor in her husband's socks, a thought emerges from the ape part of her brain...This is a convenient way to clean the floor. Oo-oo-ah-ah! </p>

<p>She checks her email and wonders if she should ask a high school classmate if he was on crack when he forwarded her an online petition to allow prayer in school because America is going to Hell in a hand basket since Touched By An Angel got cancelled. Oo-oo-ah-ah! She'd like to beat him on the head with a water buffalo bone, but something tells her just to delete the message. Then, there is email from a sister in Utah reporting the departure of their son for his mission in Portugal. Oo-oo-ah-ah! She feels her ape brain twitch and longs for an antelope carcass.</p>

<p>Thoughts of beating relatives and friends with large animal bones are interrupted by a snappy John Philip Sousa march played on her son's cell phone. This is the first of eight times she will hear the tune...March, snooze...march, snooze...march, snooze...</p>

<p>Her 18-year old junior ape had managed to cut his waking up/getting-ready-for-school routine down to 10 minutes, the day before. While driving him to the second of three AP exams, the REAL desperate housewife caught a glimpse of her son as she quickly scanned the intersection in front of the high school for a Fuzzmobile. </p>

<p>REAL Desperate Housewife: Did you get anything to eat?
Sasquatch: Uh huh...(yawns)
RDH: GAWD Almighty! Did you brush your teeth?
Sasquatch: <a href="Smiling">i</a> They'll just have to put up with my stinky breath.*</p>

<p>This would be even more horrifying in Smell-A-Vision. :)</p>

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<p>It's another LAST last day for the sluggs. After today, we will be finished forever with high school AP exams! As a salute, I shall shoot a moon out the door toward the school. :D Another Mango Slushy, please.</p>

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<p>You're right, they can handle autopsies and plastic surgery, extreme vets and Sally Jessy, gangland style executions and coeds gone crazy-- but nobody is ready for REAL reality TV.</p>

<p>Getting back to mstee's fantasy, pronto!</p>

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<p>Slugg:
Stop, please. You have me in stitches.</p>

<p>The mental images you planted are graphic, and will take years of therapy to expunge from my brain. Especially the one where you morph from the beat of buffalo bones (THUMpa, THUMpa) to John Philip Sousa on your son's cellphone....</p>

<pre><code>As for Sasquatch, look at the bright side. The chances of his contracting mono are now significantly reduced.
</code></pre>

<p>We need to brighten up your life, not to mention your Mango Slushies. Have faith - the US is in serious negotiations to begin importing Alphonso mangoes from India. </p>

<p><a href="http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1518539.cms%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1518539.cms&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>You haven't <em>lived</em> until you've tasted these. Texas mangoes? Phish. Tush. They are cardboard, in comparison.</p>

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<p>Drinks are on me- after 5 long years and 4 schools, Wild Child is FINISHED with high school! The money we have spent could rebuild New Orleans.....
It has not been an easy road, but lessons have been learned by all and I have met wonderful people through our journey. I took on the mission of helping other parents with Struggling Teens, learned to let go WAY sooner than I thought I would have to, and missed out on the day to day life of my son. However, we were able to provide him a learning environment for these last two years which enriched his life (and ours) so completely in all arenas- academic, athletic and social. Y E A H!!!!!!!!!!</p>

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<p>MOWC deserves a full-on Sinners Alley celebration! For this, there should be no holding back. Mango slushies, margaritas, guacamole wid' and wid'out (cilantro, that is), champagne fountain, chip baskets, chicken bucket, spa time in the back room, a speech by slugg, a dance by sybbie. Hey! You guys asleep in the booths! Heads up! Celebration time.</p>

<p>Music (at least the percussion part) by TJFH, SluggJr and jmson. Do we have any one who plays the #*@( melody!?!</p>

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<p>Melody shmelody, we're MOVIN' TO THE BEAT around here! And don't you just LOVE a percussion band anyway??</p>

<p>Wonderful congratulations to the sluggs and the MoWCs and everyone else who is passing now through this rite of lasts. Enjoy this mixed-up summer and fall ahead; it's a new experience for everyone.</p>

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<p>OMG- I want to get drunk- how can this only be Tuesday?
this is what I have to look forward to this weekend.
Driving to Portland w my 16 yr old $50.
Trying to find a restaurant that everyone likes for my H birthday $100
Trying to find someplace for breakfast that isn't having a Mothers day brunch $80
Staying away from the hotel so I don't run into my brother or mother, and ending up spending money at Powells but having a good time doing so $30
Having a great time at the presidents pre-graduation reception slurping down whatever I can find that is semialcoholic
Priceless :)</p>

<p>I don't really get that swozzled- I am a cheap date since I don't usually drink so don't worry- I am just needing to release since I don't get along with either my mother or brother for any amount of time , and to top it off my in laws will be there, that instinctively know how to push my buttons even better than my mother does.
Thank heavens for ipods :)</p>

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<p>congratuations wildchild- you really deserve accolades</p>

<p>I have really appreciated your perspective to balance all the kids who are "perfect" in everyway.</p>

<p>( I realize that some kids * do* seem perfect- but in my case- it wasn't because I was some award winning parent- likewise when kids have a really tough time- it isn't because their parents are ****e either- but to have a kid who is "challenging" and to help them come out of high school more or less in one piece is a HUGE acheivement)</p>

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<p>La cucharacha, la cucharacha! Let's hear it for late bloomers, long may they wave.</p>

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<p>EK, Given the scenario you depict, I would go with prescription meds. ;)</p>

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<p>MOWC, my congratulations to you. Your WC was lucky you are such a devoted and tenacious M :)</p>

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<p>Congrats to MO & WC. </p>

<p>Raising a glass to both of you. btw, what happened with prom?</p>

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<p>Thanks, All. Prom is on the 23rd (the traditional Tuesday night...). Well, it's boarding school..... He will be going, hopefully in a tux which he "thinks someone is lining up for him". He hasn't been living at school these past few weeks. He is doing an internship (they call it a "senior project") with his sports doc about 90 minutes away from school. He rented a room in the town where the doctor's clinic is located. He went back to school for the AP exams, but has been learning a lot working as a physical therapy assistant. He is, miraculously, earning money! Graduation is the 25th. Even Big Sister is going out there with us for it. It is a notable occasion.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
He will be going, hopefully in a tux which he "thinks someone is lining up for him".

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I am having an lol moment every time I think about WC and prom. </p>

<p>Didn't he start out saying that he does not want to go, and since gf does and invited him, she should pay?</p>

<p>I remember you saying that he would be paying for prom, but it seemis that he is not going to make this easy :)</p>

<p>great news that big sis is also going out for graduation.</p>

<p>Lets have another round</p>

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<p>Prom- I called the girlfriend's mother (who I have not been permitted to meet, but we have spoken secretly on the phone several times) and told her that we (son) would be paying for prom. I sent her a check, but the kids don't know that yet. I'll deal with it after graduation! The gf's family lives about 20 minutes from the school, although she is boarding this year, too. They have been really wonderful about having my son over to their house for weekends, and took him with them to Williamstown, MA for Easter weekend to see relatives. He HATES for me to "get involved" with the parents of his friends- ESPECIALLY girlfriends, so I always have to make these secret calls so they know that he really does have parents who care about him. OH-the form to order prom pictures has to be with the kids that evening, so I sent it to the other mother to make sure it gets there with the gf, since I KNOW it would not be a high priority to Wild Child.</p>

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<p>I just love the secret Mom communications channels! Good job, MOWC, and congratulations on the successful completion of an epic high school journey for your family.</p>