<p>Ah, yes, the Ba$tard of Science degree! LOL :D </p>
<p>Doddsdad, of course we love you! Right above the bar, there's a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger's body with your head pasted on it. Where it says, "Mr. Universe," somebody wrote, OUR FOUNDER, with a Happy Face next to it. That passes not only for Art in this joint, but it's a sign of our undying gratitude and affection. We LOVE you, Man! :)</p>
<p>SB, that story made me want to crawl under the table! Then, I remembered that I'm already down here with a pile of pumpkin guts from yesterday's pumpkin-carving contest. Ooo, there's a half-eaten Snickers and a squished candy corn...</p>
<p>Me, snappishly, in response to some nonsense my male friend had just said about getting too drunk for my own good, "I would never carry another man's child!"</p>
<p>I have a great "what you wish you could take back" story, courtesy of my mother. She taught kindergarten for 32 years--two kindergarten classes per year, so that's a lot of kids and parents to remember. Midway through her career, she was shopping in store near her school one evening and saw a man who looked familiar. "Hello," she said, with a smile. "Aren't you the father of one of my children?" His reply: "I don't think so, lady."</p>
<p>I use to worked with a man who massacred the English language and had no idea he was doing so. Here are some examples: Over the PA he told the staff that, Ms. Smith had a successful autopsy (he meant biopsy). He referred to the new terazzo floor as the tarantula floor. He was proud of the new infant ray security system (it was an infrared system). He became frustrated with the computer floormat (he was referring to the computer format). Only a few examples of his verbal exploits :)</p>
<p>doddsmom-
You sure you didn't work with Norm Crosby (known for drinking decapitated coffee) or maybe good ol' GW Bush, who,amongst other choice faux pas, called the U.S. "the world's pacemakers" (for "peacemakers")?</p>
<p>jym626,
Nope, not Norm Crosby or GW Bush....just a regular ole guy. One of the administrators I worked with used to keep a running list of all the wacky things this guy would say. I wish I could remember more, the "misspeaks" were hysterical.</p>
<p>Maybe I should look the guy up to let him know that the current administration is looking to fill some posts. I understand GW is looking for a supreme court nominee and Cheney needs a staff member too. :)</p>
<p>Wish I had been wild enough in my youth to have bought a pair of leather pants in order to impress a possible girlfriend. At this stage I am happy that my wife allows me to keep the fire-engine-red shirt that I bought once, just to be daring, but am rarely daring enough to wear it. Eventually it'll come back into style.</p>
<p>I have made many misstatements though not as colorful as those mentioned above, but my early Alzheimer's has thankfully caused me to forget them. What was I about to say, now?</p>
<p>Right now I am pondering what to do about the fact that on the way to work this morning I had a slight mishap, at a time when I was wearing a tie other than my coffee-colored one.</p>
<p>Audiophile: was one of your D's apps to Brandeis?</p>
<p>I am sitting in a California internet cafe. It is 9:29 am local time and I am Ready For a Drink. Did I say READY? Do I seem to be SHOUTING? I have tried twelve (or more) times to send the same #$!)@# email, four different ways. And it WON'T GO! And it needs to go out as it has an attachment the recipient needs in hand today.</p>
<p>What is the appropriate drink for this? I know they don't have it here in the IRL internet cafe. But I'm sure it's available, whenEVER I need it, at Sinner's Alley.</p>
<p>I'M AFRAID IF YOU DON'T "SPEAK" IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, WE OUT HERE IN THE INTERNETS WILL NOT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOUR SHOUTING.</p>
<p>GIVEN YOUR PROBLEMS WITH EMAIL, WHICH ARE CAUSING YOU TO BANG YOUR HEAD ON THE WALL, PERHAPS A (VIRTUAL) HARVEY WALLBANGER WOULD SUFFICE?</p>
<p>(PS: ONE OF MY FAVORITE NET-SPEAK ABBREVIATIONS THESE DAYS IS ONE I'VE SEEN NUMEROUS TIMES WHEN PEOPLE ARE FRUSTRATED OR EMBARRASSED ABOUT SOMETHING: <em>headdesk</em>)</p>
<p>Oh, moot. I thought I could just SHOUT selected words. but a wallbanger is just the ticket and <em>headdesk</em> fits like a glove. Feeling better already.</p>
<p>:::dragging my sluggbutt through the door::: Coffee, please. Lots of it, and keep it coming. Between Daylight Savings and the cool, rainy weather we're having, I feel like...a slugg. </p>
<p>I figured out that Evilneighbors managed to make their house look like a double-wide trailer when they built their new addition. I knew there was something I <em>liked</em> about it. ;) Reminds me of the movie, Tremors, with Kevin Bacon, Reba McEntire, and Michael Gross. I know for a fact that there really are giant, carnivorous worms traveling under the surface of the desert all over Southern Nevada. Sluggbuggs are just the smaller, NoCal versions. </p>
<p>Send a Wallbanger over to the housing coordinator at my D's college, with my compliments. After the conversation we had yesterday, she could probably use one. </p>
<p>SluggS took his driving test, yesterday! :D He passed the vehicle checklist with flying colors and made it out of the parking lot. Then, he almost ran over a pedestrian in a crosswalk. That's called a "critical driving error." Two more weeks, and he'll try again. Send a Wallbanger with my compliments over to the DMV guy who had to drive with my son. He could probably use more than one. :p</p>