I agree with you, but this student might give up before she even graduates HS, all because she reportedly won’t succeed at her safety. It is still not clear to me why this is true.
Why not choose another safety so that at least she could try? Rider was mentioned above. It should be affordable, and I know Jewish kids who attended.
I do think there needs to be a plan B in case medical school doesn’t pan out, regardless of the college she attends. Medical school comes with lots of tests, lots of stress, big classes, etc. There are other careers in health care that might end up being a better fit.
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This description of your D worries me. If you truly feel she can’t survive without her friends and in new surroundings/experiences, keep your search focused close to home. Mental health struggles are very real in college and these sentences concern me about her resiliency.
If this is an exaggeration, I’d try to start changing the internal narrative and managing expectations. It takes a while for even outgoing kids to find their tribe in college. A tight friend group isn’t going to be replaced overnight. I remember my D calling home in tears after two months saying she wasn’t finding any right connections. They eventually developed but she needed a reminder that her old friendships took time too.
I also want to comment about your concerns about your D being able to be premed at a big school vs a small school. I would say not to sell your D short. Even big schools can be made to feel smaller with living learning communities.
That said, I hope she’s able to find a great affordable fit You have some great suggestions on this thread. Looking forward to hearing where she lands next year!
Best of luck to her!
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I think @momofboiler1 made lots of excellent points. One factor that you might want to consider when looking at colleges is what kind of onboarding options do they have for students. Is it a half-day orientation only? Do they have living learning communities? Do they have special on-campus programs to take a class for part of the summer where they’re living in dorms and meeting other freshmen and getting used to the campus before all the upperclassmen arrive? Trying to get a sense of how quickly your daughter might be able to acclimate to her new environs and start building those friendships might be an important part of the decision-making process.
As a personal anecdote, I went to a big midwestern flagship about an 11-hour drive from home. My alma mater did have a program where we could come to campus a month early and take a class with a professor (classes no larger than 20) and live in the dorms, find out about various campus resources, etc. At the end of those three weeks, I didn’t have my best buds, but I did have friends or friendly acquaintances that I would go out with, eat meals with, etc. And once the regular school year started, I kept in touch with some and drifted away from others. But I didn’t feel like I was foundering and didn’t know anyone. And some of those friendships from the early summer program became deep, lifelong friendships, the kind where we travel to have reunions, and we all know each others’ families (parents/siblings and now spouses and children) quite well, and we’re part of each others’ wedding parties, and our children call the others “aunt” etc.
There’s no way of predicting whether you might make your lifelong friends in a summer program. But I am convinced that without that summer program, there’s an excellent chance I would have transferred after 1-2 semesters because I had an awkward roommate fit (a 2nd year whose hometown was in the college and would frequently go home), happened to be on a floor with a number of upperclassmen, and even with smaller classes, wasn’t making many connections outside of class. Having a university that is cognizant of the issues facing first-years and making it as easy as possible for new students to build relationships is a very important consideration for me.
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May I suggest Eckerd College in St. Petersburg. Yes, it is further than you would like, but has some great positives: very active Hillel with Rabbi Ed on campus: www.eckerdhillel.org. A 90% rate of acceptance into med, vet, dental schools- very strong pre-professional mentor program in addition to a student’s own mentor. A number of students volunteer with local clinics, Bayfront Hospital, (level II trauma center), and Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital. With the statistics you mentioned for your daughter, she would be eligible for a minimum of $22,000 merit. They are very generous with financial aid as well. There is a Phi Beta Kappa chapter and an honors program. All students have an opportunity to work with their mentor, or another professors research beginning in freshman year. The students form a very close knit community. The city of St. Petersburg is a vibrant place with museums, galleries, orchestra’s, ballet, theater, etc.
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She has not visited yet?? Have her do the tour and decide for herself - no input from you or sis - how she feels about the school.
My DC also did not want to go to UMD because of the size, but if any of the small privates were out of budget, that left in-state. So UMD, UMBC, Salisbury, Towson, Frostburg, (none of which she was interested in). She liked St. Mary’s and said she would choose it over UMD (BTW, with merit, St. Mary’s came in about $5K a year less than UMD! So did McDaniel.)
Dickinson, Allegheny, and Juniata all came in basically the same as UMD (Dickinson was merit + a grant, the others were just merit).
It feels defeat-ist to give up on med school if she ends up at UMD. Why would that need to be decided before she has even visited?? I would try not to put any pre-conceived notions about what she is capable of/not capable of in her head no matter what she she attends.
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Oh my…there are plenty of kids who are not like that at UMD. We have lots of friends there - from the MoCo public school system (and not the "W"s 
). East side county kids and up-county kids. All doing beautifully there. All happy there. Is it for everyone? No.
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Quinnipiac has been mentioned, and it’s worth looking at. They have very good pre-health and there is an active Hillel (my friend’s daughter went to Quinnipiac). The students I know who attended were very happy- one that I know is in a health profession.
Students who are eligible for merit are in the top 40% of their class and score an 1100 or higher on the SAT, or a 22 or higher on the ACT.
This is the type of school where I would expect this student to possibly get significant merit, as opposed to some of the other schools on the list (where she might be accepted but might not receive merit, or enough merit).
My friend’s daughter received a very nice merit award and this student has a higher gpa.
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Quinnipiac was on my daughter’s short list, gave good merit. Her best friend is graduating this year and she’s had a good experience there. My daughter chose UDel with the same merit, wanted something bigger plus decided not to go direct admit for DPT. She visited both campuses several times. My daughter is in honors and quickly made a friend group in the honors dorm who are still very close. She’s a city girl but loves her suburban campus, heading to BU to get some city time for graduation. Colleges can be their own cities with little need to venture further away.
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I know a few kids who went to Quinnipiac and were very happy. One currently works in a health profession.
UDel is also a great school- congrats to your daughter on her graduation! I have another friend whose daughter was in UDel honors with tremendous merit and then went to law school.
These are two good recommendations for this particular student, and I think she would like them both and be quite successful.
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As a parent of a Jewish student at W&L, I can tell you I have been very happy with what the school has to offer for Jewish students. Although the Jewish population is small at W&L, they have a wonderful Hillel . There is a short shabbat service every Friday night and dinner. There is also a weekly discussion group and other activities that Hillel sponsors.
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I believe W&L is on this student’s list, but she needs one of the top merit awards in order to attend. This automatically makes the school a reach, IMO. It doesn’t mean she should not apply, but it does highlight the need for affordable safeties that she likes.
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I am going to throw one more out there. I know many Jewish students who attended, they were/are happy, and there is a Hillel. The town is cute and students can go into NYC if they want.
SUNY New Paltz:
Has a Hillel
Student population under 7000
Might be affordable without merit- total cost for out-of-state is just above $37,000. You can reduce this depending on dorm, travel, books, etc. OOS tuition is $18,000. Maybe this school is affordable given the employee discount?
** strong pre health advising and the school “routinely” places students in MD and DO schools. Their acceptance rates match the national average (actually slightly higher).
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Just visited University of Richmond this weekend (DD chose it by herself as an option). I know it is absolute reach, but it turned out to be a perfect dream school. It has ideal size (land and number of students), location, vibe, support, amazing articulated students etc. We have not seen schools like that before. I think the only school that looks similar (at least online) is Bucknell that gives even less merit aid. Do you know any other schools even further with similar vibe, lower ranking and better acceptance rate?
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I’m tagging @homerdog into this conversation because Richmond was one of her daughter’s school choices when she was applying last year. She might have some good insights and ideas.
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I recommended Quinnipiac- have you looked into it?
Your D might get merit, strong Jewish presence, strong pre health.
You might want to take a look at Elon.
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Ideal school would be with 50-65% acceptance rate. DD is not very interested in schools with 70-85% acceptance rate. From our visiting experience schools in the target acceptance rate provide the best fit in terms of vibe to her. (Match schools that she liked all have acceptance rate 48-62. The ones that she is indifferent and not interested are all in 70+ range)
Yep. Looks good to me but unfortunately DD has some reservations (from her classmates).
Does she have classmates with friends and relatives at Quinnipiac?
One student I know is now an OT, and another one works for a large, well known government peace-keeping organization. Both are Jewish and loved their experience.
I know 1 Elon graduate. She was an “average excellent” HS student, enjoyed her time at Elon, and moved on to professional school.
So acceptance rate is often a function of whether the school is expanding its size and offerings, or just remaining the same. Not a particularly useful standard
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I thought you described your daughter as being very involved with her Jewish friends and Jewish life.
Richmond has a Hillel and approximately 300 students (9%) who identify as Jewish. Does this meet her needs?
You can look at Union College- not really sure if she will get merit as the students look pretty strong.