In my opinion, the question seems to be whether or not upper income families can afford to save for college at all. Some upper income families seem to think it’s impossible due to the high cost of where they live. I think that the ability hinges on choice.
Everybody has to make choices, and not just about college. I chose to give up an income that would have put our family income at twice the median level for our area so we could homeschool. That was a conscious choice not without sacrifices. It meant we’d be staying in our starter home on less than an acre, and having spent more than half my childhood on a property 75x that I feel the constraints it’s put on my children’s explorations, but I don’t regret it.
I think your comment about choices between time with family and “best” colleges is interesting. My father was a Depression Era kid, well read and extremely smart. There was no money for any college. So the hope of their generation was to send their kids to a college. After a physical disability and years of enormous financial struggles, my parents bought a home close enough to a state community college so my siblings and I could commute. All of us worked full-time and commuted, and most of us transferred to 4-year schools and worked full-time so we could afford to take enough classes to graduate. Most of our kids are dorming at state schools. Perhaps their children will have the opportunity to dorm at a fancier school, if that’s what they want.
When people talk about colleges I always think of my dad. He would have been thrilled to have the opportunity to stretch his mind with his contemporaries at any schoo, including the local cc. I suppose when you’re used to having, it’s easy to feel your kids should have the best. However, too many people in this country are at an economic level where your choices – between time with family or the best colleges – aren’t options at all.