<p>Now that Tri has posted, I'm waiting for his big detractors on this thread to come back on and tell him to to his face how much they disapprove of his actions.</p>
<p>The intent of the OP was never to deride the wonderful admissions result of this young man or his worthiness of all these acceptance.</p>
<p>The intent was always to try to understand the discrepancy between all the fabulous acceptances, and apparent naivete about the admissions processes, the universities to which he applied, and the way that the process and the outcome might feel to other people who did not get accepted to the same group of schools as he. I am sorry that this was not made clear to Coureur and others in spite of many attempts to clarify.</p>
<p>So, Tri, congratulations on your many fine acceptances and on the opportunity to make an informed decision.</p>
<p>Robrym, your posts were obviously not meant to deride his acceptances; it was quite clear that you were merely questioning his style of posting and asking for help with his "problem" on all the Ivy boards. But some other posters did get snide along the way....</p>
<p>Tri,
I wanted to add my congratulations with to all the other parents on this thread. I can imagine your difficult decision, but also have the feeling you will handle it just fine.<br>
I am also impressed that what I was originally thinking was bragging ended with your gracious post on this thread. Over the year I have visited CC, I have found this the best place to come when I have questions regarding the college experience. I wish you all the best.</p>
<p>robrym (#102)- well said</p>
<br>
<blockquote> <p>I am sorry that this was not made clear to Coureur and others in spite of many attempts to clarify.<<</p> </blockquote>
<br>
<p>Sorry if I missed your true intent. I think it was somewhat hidden behind the insults, such as post # 20:</p>
<p>"Amazing yes? Amazing un-grace...."</p>
<p>Or perhaps post #35:</p>
<p>".....smacks of disgenuousness...."</p>
<p>And some of the other critics were even worse.</p>
<p>Well, I am not sure about the detractors but I would like to give Tri some parental advice.</p>
<p>Tri, congratulations. You certainly deserve all of those acceptances. There are no bad choices in the bunch. </p>
<p>However, you should be aware that in American culture, advertising an abundance of riches, such as a full sweep of Ivy acceptances plus Stanford, is viewed as socially unacceptable. In the context of American culture, students who strive for and attain a Harvard EA and then go on to apply to eight more schools will be seen as greedy. There is no crime in making all those applications, but you should be aware of how that action will be viewed by the surrounding culture.</p>
<p>For example, on the parent's CC forum, we are formally BANNED from posting overwrought congratulation threads. All congratulations are restricted to the Master Lists. Most of us believe this is a fair restriction.</p>
<p>This restraint is an American Judeo/Christian cultural thing, designed to protect those who did not receive such amazing acceptances and designed to keep everyone level headed, I suppose. </p>
<p>Have you ever read a thread where a recruited athlete brags about a full 5 year scholarship to Harvard or Stanford plus airfare in October--before anyone else has applied? No. That's because they know that CC readers would find that posting offensive. If you are going to live in the US, you need to learn these cultural and social cues.</p>
<p>Although I do not believe you posted your thread as a brag, I also do not believe that anyone clever enough to attain Harvard EA and a sweep of Ivy acceptances is foolish enough to pretend to be without preferences. I believe you do have some idea of where you would like to go and your posting was designed as an attention getter, rather than a true inquiry. </p>
<p>Hey, no worries. You are still a kid. So there could have been more honesty in your OT. For a writer, honesty is where it's at, right? You'll get that sorted.</p>
<p>I hope you get great fin aid at all the schools. Come back to the parent's forum if you want help sorthing through the different packages. </p>
<p>Most of all, when you get to one of those great schools--have fun! And keep writing!</p>
<p>Thank you for your advice on "cultural and social cues."</p>
<p>My original post was geared toward advice and opinions, (moreover) specifically from alumni or anyone with strong input. I was very fortunate to receive many responses that have really helped me. I am very appreciative of College Confidential in that respect. </p>
<p>I have seen many threads concerning "School A v. School B v. School C". I apologize if I had "offended" anyone due to my lack of "restraint...an American Judeo/Christian cultural thing." That was not what I intended to do, I merely seeked for advice. I apologize for doing it "without tact".</p>
<p>Have a nice day,
--Tri</p>
<p>It is too bad though , when I work with 2 yr olds and they accomplish something new and great , they clap their hands in glee and screetch with joy and we all smile and clap with them and are joyous too! Maybe they have something to teach us..
Our society makes things so complicated... just late night thoughts</p>
<p>For some reason I think that Tri is fully aware of the inner workings of American culture. By my calculations he spent at least 14 out of his 18 years in this country (if Halloween -91 pictures are to be believed :-) ) . livejournal, myspace, facebook..., this is an american teenager all right, my son could be his "twin brother" ( ukrainian, not vietnamese, but still....) , their preferences in literature , music, films are so similar. In my opinion, Tri's OP(s) had more to do with being 18 than being a foreigner.</p>
<p>That's right, Coureur. I did not feel his posting graceful and I did not find his awe genuine. So be it. I started off the thread saying that I wasn't sure how to interpet the inconsistencies- that I felt the 'story' was vulnerable to different interpretations- and this thread has presented the various interpretations. </p>
<p>Tri can clearly write with great finesse and precision. I believe he chooses his words with care and for full effect, both. A writer doesn't 'turn it off and on.' </p>
<p>And, Tri, if you are still reading....spend the time researching the schools you are still interested in.....those of us who are long ago alums of some of the schools on your list are a whole lot less well informed than the kids you will meet- and the feelings you will have. But, if you go into the visits ill informed, you will not have taken full advantage of the opportunity afforded to you. Good luck, make yourself and your family proud.</p>
<p>However, "ungraceful" Tri posting may have been, I find it far less graceful for people claiming to be adults to pluck some kid out of cyberspace, a teenager who was minding his own business off in other parts of CC, and gratuitously beat up on him for 6 or 7 pages of posts. And it's rather more disingenuous to then try to brush off the whole exercise as merely a benign attempt to understand some perceived inconsistency.</p>
<p>I must not be a part of the "American-Judaeo/Christian cultural thing," as I am never offended by postings of multiple laudable acceptances (from parent or from student). I do not consider it "socially unacceptable." I just find it educational. Call me counter-cultural.</p>
<p>But just so that I won't offend anyone with my congratulatory thoughts ^^, or be viewed as "overwrought," I'll PM you, tchiem.</p>
<p>
[quote]
This restraint is an American Judeo/Christian cultural thing, designed to protect those who did not receive such amazing acceptances and designed to keep everyone level headed, I suppose.
[/quote]
:confused: this is news to me :confused:</p>
<p>
[quote]
This restraint is an American Judeo/Christian cultural thing, designed to protect those who did not receive such amazing acceptances and designed to keep everyone level headed, I suppose.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>The Asian parents I know tend to be very deprecating of their kids' accomplishments--which may contribute to the self-same kids working hard to live up to their parents' expectations. The typical joke is not "My kid got a 98 on the test" but "Where did the other two points go? And why did you not get a 100?"</p>
<p>Well, I'm a little late to this thread, but what I say to this, is HOLY COW, how the heck did you do that???? Congratulations!!!! Have fun picking!</p>
<p>The Asian parents one encounters in the U.S. are obviously the enterprising ones, who may have left everything behind and are starting from scratch. This is why they push their children so hard to excel. If you visit an Asian country, you will not find this to be the case; there is no basis for a Judeo/Christian claim to restraint and politeness. </p>
<p>Similarly, when Asians encounter Americans in their countries, they assume that all Americans are swaggering ugly bullies who flash their $$$ and don't care about the volume of their conversation, but we know how classy, thoughtful and kind Americans really are, right?</p>
<p>Congratulations again, Tri! :)</p>
<p>
[quote]
We are merely pondering here. No one has been indelicate, nor has suggested that anyone be indelicate, by contacting the student directly. Sibbie did, however, write a very helpful post to this fellow on one of the threads.
If this thread had been started in the parents cafe rather than the parents forum, would the bantering have been perceived any differently? Isn't it ok for parents to question?
[/quote]
I realize that I am quoting myself from post #60, but in all fairness to many of the posters on this thread, I don't think anyone was "beating up" on Tri. Robyrm's post #102 nicely sums up the initial perplexity, combined with the evident different writing styles seen in Tri's homepages vs his postings on the college forums in CC. I don't think the parents are required to restrict themselves to the "Sinners Alley" thread of the parent cafe when they want to let their hair down a bit. This is the parents area.. it is ok, IMO, to think aloud, delicately or indelicately. The kids have their cafe to let loose. That's a pretty scary place.. Have any of you wandered down there? Wild place....</p>
<p>I do believe that it was not at all Tri's intent to brag or show off. But, I also believe, with all the excitement of Tri's wonderful college and scholarship successes, it is easy to accidentally overlook the impact of one's questions/comments on others less fortunate. When Tri was given this feedback in the individual college forums, he handled the feedback graciously. He is a bright fellow and he will succeed in whatever he pursues. We all congratulate him on his successes.</p>
<p>I just skimmed this thread and saw the examples of Tri's writing. I'm pretty sure that's what set him apart from the crowd. Beautiful!</p>
<p>TRI, you are a careful and adept writer. Perhaps your literary style won all the adcoms over. But something I still can't put together. Given your focus in the arts and photography, I dont remember seeing list of artistic awards or public recognitions amongst your credits. Having you always been pursuing your interest privately ?</p>