<p>lgreen, if living in single sex housing is a priority then it should be used as a criteria for college selection. That's one of those easily researchable things that students should know before they apply.</p>
<p>And like garland said it is a separate issue. Schools can offer both and many do.</p>
<p>what are the many schools where students are denied to live in single sex housing?
Its bad enough when teens use blanket statements, but I gnash my teeth when adults do it, without data to back it up.</p>
<p>My nieces who are Latter Day Saints found east coast LACs where they could have single sex housing, didn't realize it was so difficult. ;)</p>
<p>Historymom, there are usually single sex housing options, but with schools that have limited housing anyways, you can be out of luck. You can get no housing at all. There was a time when single sex housing was the norm, and the mixed sex was the exception that you could only get on a space available basis. I lived in that time. I would not have made it a criterion for college choice, but I would not have been comfortable at that time, living in a mixed sex dorm. I still don't like to share bathrooms with males. I guess Fates got me good, giving me 5 boys. I sure live in a mixed sex "dorm" now, with me making it the mix as the only female.</p>
<p>"I would not have made it a criterion for college choice, but I would not have been comfortable at that time, living in a mixed sex dorm."</p>
<p>Then why wouldn't you have made it a cirterion? I don't get it. My point is that if it is an issue, make it your issue before you apply and are accepted. Making guaranteed housing and single sex housing a search criteria still leaves you with more schools than not. If sharing living space with a guy isn't something you want to do, why put yourself in that position and then feel awkward?</p>
<p>My D just looked over my shoulder as I was checking this thread. Put her hand to her heart and said in mock shock
"Some colleges allow co-ed dorm rooms??? Next thing you know girls will start getting pregnant in high school!" </p>
<p>this is from a girl who is very conservative in her personal behavior and thoughtful in her politics. Really, the average college student will not be adversely affected. Those who object to sharing are not compelled to do so. This is still the USA and we all still have a choice.</p>
<p>In my case, it would not have been important enough as a criterion to eliminate schools. Also as a senior in high school, that was not an issue that I thought about in terms of school searches. I picked a school with insufficient housing, as a matter of fact, and paid for that decision by having to go off campus before I was ready. Sometimes when you are looking at schools, there are things that you chance. It just seems to me that more people would dislike coed bathrooms than would want them. Many don't care, but those who do should have precedence since those who don't care can go either way. In other words, by making the halls and bathrooms mainly coed, you are limiting those who care about those things whereas I don't think most people mind having single sex bathrooms. </p>
<p>I guess the coed dorm rooms are still another thing kids can fight about with their parents. So now what happens when a "couple" who is romantically involved, which happens a lot in college, rooms together, and breaks up, which happens a lot too. Changing rooms is usually not easily done in dorms. I guess males and females are just fine sharing rooms, beds, etc now; we can trust that it doesn't test our instincts too much. I think it really is asking for trouble. These are the testing years, the years when those hormones are up there, moods are unstable. Why throw in more potential for problems?</p>
<p>I guess Fates got me good, giving me 5 boys</p>
<p>I'd say.
;)</p>
<p>
[quote]
It just seems to me that more people would dislike coed bathrooms than would want them. Many don't care, but those who do should have precedence since those who don't care can go either way. In other words, by making the halls and bathrooms mainly coed, you are limiting those who care about those things whereas I don't think most people mind having single sex bathrooms.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>While it may be argued that some schools limit the options of people who want single-sex bathrooms a little too much by making some dorms have all co-ed bathrooms and such, don't forget that schools didn't create co-ed bathrooms for the fun of it. They are VERY important in making many queer students feel comfortable and accepted in really fundamental ways. THAT is what is taking precedent over those who dislike co-ed bathrooms, not students “not caring either way.” </p>
<p>And, again, I do think it’s good and important to have single sex options, which most schools do retain to some degree — even in the dorms at Wes that are normally all co-ed bathrooms, I’m pretty sure each hall votes (anonymously), and if someone is uncomfortable with that, they will establish at least one single sex bathroom. It's just that when looking at the novelty of things like co-ed bathrooms and co-ed rooms, people sometimes forget that while these things may be used for other purposes, for the most part they were originally advocated for on behalf of students who don’t fall into traditional male/female and heterosexual categories.</p>
<p>Wait...I thought we were talking about coed dorm rooms?!?! </p>
<p>cpt I do understand your point and agree that options should be avaiable for single sex housing as well. But again, I would say that if it is a big enough deal to make someone uncomfortable in their living situation it's a big enough deal to research ahead of time. It strikes me as disingenuous to go to a school with coed bathrooms and then wish they would change their policies when other schools would have offered you that option in the first place.</p>
<p>Historymom, it really is not something most of us would think of in terms of college. I know it did not enter my mind in the dark ages when I went. </p>
<p>I don't think this evolved from gay students. The gay movement was not a big deal at my school in my time. It was really a movement that came from wanting fewer restrictions in male/female interactions. I was at the cusp of the time when there were curfews for the opposite sex in the the dorms. With 24 hour visitation permitted, came the problems of being sexiled by a roommate, and less privacy for everyone. Then the idea of coed dorms came about which was fine for the schools as it increased flexibility in housing. That was so cool and popular that it took off very quickly. The coed bathrooms were a matter of necessity because of the expense of building more such facilities when you have a coed dorm. Again, privacy is being eroded. `Now you have the coed rooms. Do you really believe that you are not increasing the chances of an intimate relationship when you have a male and a female with those hormones hot and heavy sharing a room? Do you really believe that adding sex to the mix isn't going to complicate matters with roommates? At least two roommate murders that I know about had sexual undertones (same sex) to them. I don't think this is such a good idea. Maybe this time this has come about from the gay movement, but you can't just permit students who are not involved and not likely to get involved room together.</p>
<p>And yeah, Emerald, the fates got me big time. But I have MY OWN BATHROOM!!!</p>
<p>It was mentioned once, but I think it should be said again.</p>
<ol>
<li> Living in a coed room does not mean you are having sex all the time.</li>
<li> Living in a single sex room does not mean you are not having sex all the time.</li>
</ol>
<p>If the roommates have a platonic relationship, then fine. It's similar to a single sex living arrangement (I avert my eyes for other girls, too- it's more polite). If the roommates are involved (I agree, bad idea), then if they want to have sex, they will, no matter if they live together or not.</p>
<p>It doesn't matter if individuals are comfortable living with a member of the opposite sex- people can choose so that if they're not comfortable with it, they don't have to do it. I personally know I probably couldn't- I can think of a guy I would room with, but I probably couldn't promise myself that it wouldn't become romantic. That's not true about ALL relationships, it's just that by chance the guys currently in my life fall into two categories: I would kill them if I lived with them for a year, or I would jump them if I lived with them for a year. :D</p>
<p>I'm pretty sure single sex halls/dorms are available at the majority of schools... I applied to a lot of super liberal LACs, and all of them offered single sex housing. I mean, I'm not saying it's available everywhere, but I think it's not extinct or anything.</p>
<p>
[quote]
The coed bathrooms were a matter of necessity because of the expense of building more such facilities when you have a coed dorm.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I don't think this is true, or at least it is not how it has been explained to me. I mean, on all of the halls at Wes there are at least two bathrooms--no reason to have them be co-ed for practical purposes. As I understand it from the history of Wes, queer activists pushed for co-ed bathrooms...it is certianly the reason there existance is explained, at Wes and other schools I visited. And I KNOW that the co-ed room movement has been pushed by the queer community, at least here.</p>
<p>Maybe at Wes. In the old dorms of my alma mater, there was only one bathroom per floor. So unless you want to go down a flight of stairs and down a hallway just to use a bathroom, they had to go coed with the bathrooms. THe bathrooms are also very open with shower stalls and toilet stalls and open sinks. I just prefer my privacy among women in a bathroom. I don't like sharing with my own family members. The co-ed room movement, I can see how that is a gay student mission.</p>
<p>So what if people are more confortable sharing a room with the opposite sex? They don't matter? Im sure there are many girls that would prefer to live with a guy over a girl and same goes for the other way around.</p>
<p>So what? I've been discussing the what. I am very sure that there are many who prefer to live with the opposite sex. That's the way it is in the world,Have you not noticed? You don't see too many adults sharing a room with some one of the same sex, do you? But then there is nearly always some intimate relationship involved.</p>
<p>My freshman year roommate was lesbian. I'm bicurious. By that logic OBVIOUSLY there should have been some sexual tension, right?</p>
<p>Or how about my gay friends who had 2 roommates in a triple. With such tight quarters, he MUST have had a crush on one of them, right?</p>
<p>I mean really... give me a break. I have many male friends- gay and straight- who I know I could easily live with platonically. I won't even date people who go to my school for fear of breakup issues- much less people in my own room!</p>
<p>There are platonists in every crowd. (most of the college students I know prefer Aristotle. ;))</p>
<p>I think you can use the phrase bi-curious, but * lesbian* is rapidly becoming - un-pc</p>
<p>BBC</a> NEWS | Europe | Lesbos islanders dispute gay name</p>
<p>;)</p>
<p>Someone emailed me that article recently, EK4, and I got a kick out of it. :)</p>
<p>cpt at least at Willamette the creation of coed rooming situations was in direct response to the GLBT student community's request for exactly what you would have liked: housing in which you were more comfortable.</p>
<p>That's fine with me. I don't really care what the sexual persuasion of anyone is and what things they initiate. Heck, I don't care if I have a gay roommate. My son had one, and it was not a big problem for him. What problems occurred came from some other kids who were straight and had some issues. </p>
<p>My problem is when you have two sexually charged individuals that are sharing the room. You are talking about years of nature working. I would not want to share the room with a gay woman if I were gay, so it's not about just being the opposite sex here. There is too much of a power keg that exists and you are putting your head in the sand if you are denying the situation exists. Sure, it happens anyways, but you are increasing the odds by an awful lot. Also you are permitting cohabitation in dorm rooms which in itself is a problem as I pointed out. Kids don't always have good break ups, and when there is sex involved things can really escalate. This just opens doors that can really complicate issues. If I were at a university, I just would not want to increase these risks. If two members of the opposite sex what to share a room, let them get one off campus. There are enough roommate headaches already, with opening a door that lets in a flood of more.</p>