Need some experienced parent advice. My son is finishing his freshman year. He and 3 friends will be in an on campus apartment next year. Son doesn’t want to buy a meal plan because he hates the campus food and it costs $8.62 per meal. He claims he and his roommates will cook meals, or he wants to buy off campus food. I’m skeptical.
Additionally, one of his roommates reportedly receives no money from his family, and my son thinks he (my son) should purchase all the equipment for cooking, and spend more on the food because the other boy says he will do the bulk of the cooking. I’m feeling very conflicted on this.
Anyone have an experience with this type of situation?
This will very much be a YMMV. How much can he/you trust the others to adhere to the agreement? That’s really what it comes down to. Maybe write up the division of labor and cost agreement and have the students AND their parents sign it?
More to think about - Will someone have a car to get to the market regularly? What will be the food budget? Who will do the cleanup? How close are they to campus? Will they be able to get home for food in the middle of the day or does it make sense to have a partial meal plan?
He won’t starve. He can always add the meal plan later in the semester if he needs to, or the next semester.
If he knows how to cook 5 things, it will be fine. If you think they’d use it, get a crock pot.
My daughter lives in a house but gets a meal plan from her scholarship. It’s all ‘dining points’ and she can buy stuff at the grocery store on campus and that’s what she usually does, plus take out from the deli and the smoothie place on campus. They do cook at home but it is usually toast and sandwiches. Last year her boyfriend was living in another house and they cooked a lot of meals, big meals, together but since he wasn’t there this year she said she didn’t spend nearly as much time cooking (or eating in restaurants).
My kids both got off the meal plan for their sophomore or junior year of college. They eat better AND save money. I’d have no problem buying more of the kitchen gear if a) it was treated with care so that b) my kid could use it after college when he/she would eventually need stuff anyway.
I give my kids a monthly food budget that is sufficient to buy groceries and eat out occasionally at inexpensive places plus an extra $300-600 (one had a food coop share and one has to buy a minimum plan on campus) and still come out ahead.
Kudos to your son for coming up with an idea that helps him (less cooking) and helps a buddy out. As long as it is affordable to you and doesn’t cost more than the meal plan and as long as the arrangement can be adjusted if it doesn’t work out, I’d say give it a try. My kids often cooked collectively in college, taking turns with housemates.
Additionally, grocery shopping, budgeting, and feeding oneself are good skills to learn as one heads into adult life.
Similar experiences here. My kids both went off the meal plan as sophomores, and never wanted back on. Cost less (a lot less), liked it more (a lot more), ate healthier (a lot healthier). They both liked to cook anyway. One of them became quite serious about cooking – he’s always reverse-engineering stuff he eats in restaurants, he has sous-vide equipment and the multi-volume Nathan Myhrvold cookbook. (But he got that stuff post-college.)
If the boy receives no money from his parents, how is he planning to pay for his food next year? Is the idea that since he is planning to do the bulk of the cooking, that you will be paying for his food too? And really, isn’t “cooking” just dinner? I can’t imagine him cooking meals for breakfast and lunch, but if you are buying breakfast and lunch foods for your son, will the other kid be eating that food too with you paying for it? I’m not really sure you will be saving much here if you are basically paying for all the cookware, plus paying for all the food for two boys. What kind of meals with the boy be making for dinner? Just re-read and see that there are other roommates too. Will the other boys also be contributing to the food - in which case, three boys are basically covering the cost of food for the fourth? In that case, it might not be that big of a deal if splitting costs three ways for four people.
You don’t need to spend all that much to set up their kitchen. Raid your own for duplicates, then hit the thrift shops, and finish off at Bed Beth & Beyond with your stash of discount coupons. If one of them likes to cook, and takes on the bulk of that responsibility, then giving that person a bit of a break on the grocery bills makes sense. Trust the kids to work it out.
The best part of campus tours was the cafeteria. I put what I want on my plate, and there’s a magic conveyor belt that takes away the dirty dishes. Heaven! Cooking for fun is great when there’s no time pressure, but there’s not too much joy in the cooking and cleaning up when’s there’s time constraints. I think the kids will work it out, but will miss the magic conveyor belt.
Most don’t miss the magic conveyor belt. Institutional eating gets old. Plus, you have to eat when they are open not when it is convenient to you or when you are hungry.
Even if it is just dinner 4-5 times a week, communal cooking and cleanup is a good way to go for a lot of reasons - community, savings of time and $, better cooking as people are more likely to put effort into a meal if sharing it with others, not having to eat leftovers as much (but that can be a good time/$ saver, too!).
I once broke down the cost of one of my kids’ meal plans and it was $178 a week. This was about 5 years ago and for a young woman who doesn’t eat like a linebacker. It’s easy to save as there is no way she would come close to spending that much on groceries.
The roommate needs to get a part time job so he can contribute his part in all the expenses that are required when living off campus (rent, utilities, food, furnishings, tp, etc).
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Sounds like the roommate has. Part-time chef. 
Mine is also delighted to get off the meal plan and we are very happy about it! I’m happy to fund the groceries with all the savings from the meal plan, and all the excess old kitchen stuff from my kitchen for the apartment. I don’t expect my kid to feed the roommates, they will have to fend for themselves, however have always been very generous with feeding kids friends, especially if they can’t afford it. I’m sure I’ll be providing some groceries that I’d expect to be shared by all (like pasta, spices, etc).
The current cost of a meal swipe in the cafeteria is $13. Ripofff city.
My S got off the meal plan junior year and it was fine but he was in a suite with a kitchen. What cooking arrangements does your son have in the dorm? If there is no kitchen you need to be careful about what is allowed in the room and if there will be a place to cook adequately.
I don’t happen to love the arrangement where you buy everything and the other kid cooks. I absolutely think the food they share has should be split evenly and then each should buy things he wants that aren’t shared. It is not your responsibility to subside his roommate. Will the roommate cook all three meals? And what if their schedules are different and they want to eat at different times? What if your S doesn’t like his roommate’s cooking? Who cleans up?
I think even if you buy more of the cooking equipment (then it is his to keep) they need to further discuss their arrangement and be sure the friend will absolutely have sufficient money for food. If your S is constantly paying for everything it could cause bad feeling quickly.
Big question is, will your kid stay under budget even if he buys all of the food that the roommate contributes cooking labor for?
I wouldn’t commit to paying for another students’ food.
My D is getting off the food plan next year (Jr), in an on-campus apt. I’d like to get her the “Tiger Bucks” the school offers to grab lunch if she needs it quickly from the non-dining hall food option, or if she ran out of food and it’s a busy time! You can start with a small amount and add to it.
My daughter does not have any interest in cooking. There are lots of easy things to throw together though, so I’ll help with ideas.
They are sharing the costs of setting up the kitchen, and eventually we’ll put together a food budget for her. We would take issue with paying for someone else, and if you have an issue with it, it could trickle down and end up causing friction among roommates.
@happy1 The original post states her son will be living in an off campus apartment.
It said “on campus apartment,” but I assume that includes a kitchen.
The important difference between “on” and “off” here may be that supermarkets and other good places to buy fresh food inexpensively may be less conveniently located for on-campus apartments. When my kids went off the meal plan, they had a vegetable shop half a block from their apartment and a supermarket about three blocks away.
@doschicos oops…missed that