I just found out that my son’t best friend used my business letterhead (another SC State school) and my signature to write a letter for his appeal and won his appeal. I have a huge moral dilemma, do I report this to Clemson or just let it go.? That spot was meant for another student, what he did was not only unethical and immoral but illegal. I do know that he lies about pretty everything in his life (sad home life, no violence or drugs, just negligent single mom) but should that stop me from doing what is right? I don’t know what the consequences would be. On one hand maybe he learns this lesson now in life or let him go on and hope he grows and matures? Help!
oh and he is currently enrolled as a first year student.
He used your letterhead and signature? Yes, call admissions and ask if such a letter was received by them. That you had heard this was the case. If it is di, let them know that you did not write the letter; that your letterhead was stolen and your signature forged.
Tough decision but if he gets away with this, it sends the wrong message that cheating, stealing gets you ahead in life and he will continue to do this poor behavior for the rest of his life.
I don’t envy your decision but the way I look at it is that he set himself up for this, not you, so at the end of the day he has no one to blame except himself.
It will kill your son’s relationship with this kid but that’s a choice he made by stealing and forging the letter.
I would make absolutely sure that you have your facts straight before notifying the college. For example, was your son any way involved in this (e.g. giving him access to the letterhead, etc). I would just want to make sure there was no unintended collateral damage to your family.
Good Luck.
You’ll likely be burning any bridges between your son and his friend, but IMO, you should tell the school’s admissions office (either in-person, phone call with an admissions counselor, mail/email etc.) As you pointed out in your OP, that seat was meant for another student, one who didn’t see fit to lie on his application and equally wanted to go to Clemson. If this is found out later, once your son’s friend has matriculated or even graduated from Clemson, they could (and probably would) expel him or even revoke his degree. It’s also a slippery slope, as it’s not a big jump from going from lying on your admissions application to plagiarizing in a class, or even falsifying your graduate school applications (b/c you didn’t get caught for undergraduate admissions, so why not? 
)
At the end of the day, the final decision rests on your hands, CC can’t make the decision for you. I echo what you say in your last line: although it’s an extremely tough decision, it’s better that your son’s friend owns up to his mistakes now when there’s still time vs. in the future where it could potentially ruin his career and life.
I came across the letter when I was looking through my trash on my laptop for something I inadvertently discarded. I will speak with my son but this young man basically lived at my house for the past couple years and would use my laptop for hw, etc. So I tend to lean towards he was snooping and did it himself. Do I have proof he sent it to the college? no but my gut tells me so. Clemson never approves appeals and I have to give it to him, he wrote it well, it was convincing. Made up a whole engineering internship program at my University!
2 Likes
As @socaldad2002 says, make sure you have all the facts completely straight (see if you can speak privately with your area’s assigned admissions counselor,) before doing it. You don’t want to inadvertently implicate yourself and your son in this, which is another reason why doing this earlier rather than if it’s found out later by the university is better IMO.
Call now.
I don’t think a college will discuss students over the phone. You could email Clemson admissions and tell them that you have reason to believe that a letter of reference using your letterhead and signature may have been included in this young man’s appeal and you just want to make them aware that you never wrote one. If they want additional details they’ll let you know.
How was he able to get access to your letterhead? Your home university would likely consider that a security breach.
I have reached out to them without a name and asking for some guidance on how I should proceed. One gentleman responded directing me to the correct person and stated, “I do not see how this could result in negative consequences for you or your son” it seems there is some anonymity and great care in the process as it should be of course. Thank you all for your help! I just needed more than my conscious guiding me on this.
Tough situation as you were careless in permitting another access to your computer, letterhead, and signature. Also, you wrote that you are not certain that it was sent to the school in question.
Is it possible that your son did this as a favor to his friend ? Or in conjunction with his friend ?
Does this make you an unwitting participant in fraud ?
Again, tough issue as you will be opening up a can of worms as the student may try to defend himself. For example, could he claim that you volunteered–as his surrogate mother–to write a letter on his behalf and later had a change of heart ? Was there a falling out between this student & one of your family members after the letter was written ?
Giving one access to your computer, letterhead, and “signature” was unwise as you wrote about the student: “I do know that he lies about pretty [much] everything in his life…” And that “he’s my son’s best friend…” And that: “This young man basically lived at my house for the past couple years.”
Lots of poor judgment displayed in this situation on behalf of all 3 involved in my opinion.
P.S. Can you prove that the young man wrote & sent this letter to the school in question ? If not, are you concerned about potential civil liability if he is dismissed from school based on your assertions ?
I consulted our admissions officer at the school I work at and she said that even if my son helped him, that ultimately, it was his decision to submit it and no matter his defense it comes down to the decision on his part to use the letter despite how he came into possession of it as he knew what he was doing was fraud. He wrote that he was accepted for an internships program this past summer at my school that does not exist and I am somehow the one who accepted him into that program even though my department has NOTHING to do with that department. Bottom line, she said, that at the end of the day he knowingly chose to submit a fraudulent document and how he got it doesn’t matter unless it came directly from me to Clemson and it did not.
I don’t see the poor judgement shown by the OP. Never heard in academia that letterhead has to be locked up as anyone can make their own letterhead that closely resembles official letterhead.
OP is exercising poor judgment again–in my opinion–by making accusations without proof or direct knowledge.
Why hasn’t OP spoken to her son about this ?
Why take legal advice from a college admissions officer ?
2 Likes
I have spoken to my son about it, it is your assumption I didn’t. He has no clue about it and I believe him. It wasn’t legal advice, it was policy that is used State wide as both schools use same policies according to the State system thus why I asked her. As another response suggested, I am asking IF the letter had been submitted not accusing a person and have not submitted the letter yet. It’d be poor judgement if I didn’t investigate as I am doing now.
Have you approached the letter-writer himself? Why not ask him to come clean on his own?
that’s the first thing I did and his MO is to not respond to messages despite my urging to do so or I will move forward. I will give him another chance to talk to me about it. Will forward the email Clemson sent me about my inquiry so he knows I am serious and hope he responds. I think that is what makes me mad just as much is what seems to be an untouchable attitude and his thinking he can get away with everything. It could be a good thing for my son that their relationship ends but we are no where near that yet. Just trying to do things 1 step at a time.
@used123 no advice. As a mom of another CU engineering student, guessing the friend is already floundering in his classes; if he’s used to taking shortcuts, the grades from the chem, eng and calc weedout tests in the last week will probably reflect it. Do they room together?
no my son is a senior in HS still at home. I do know before he left that he was struggling in Chemistry (like he did in HS) and spending nearly 24/7 on HW. If he were my son I would have advised a different path but it was his father’s wish for him to go to Clemson and be an engineer, but that’s a whole different subject, lol. You are right about the coursework though, no doubt! I just want to make it clear, I am not out to get this kid, he’s like one of my own so I do care for his well being. This is just a level of WOW that I was not prepared for.
@used123 you’re in a really tough spot; good luck!!