<p>LEt’s not get the cart in front of the horse-- WHY did they crash this last fall? That is a huge change in how they are doing. When the ship has sprung a disasterous leak, the first thing to do is address the leak. You can pick a port of destination once there’s no longer water coming on board. </p>
<p>I would definitely have their eyes checked. One of our guys had 20-20 vision as a 14 year old (we know because he had a physical to go to National Scout Jamboree). A year later he absolutely stunk at a tennis try out. Turns out his eyes had changed dramatically and he badly needed glasses. You can’t hit the ball if you can’t see it coming. Turns out he was missing a lot that had been written on the black board as well. The optomitrist said that many teens have significant eye changes. </p>
<p>But there’s probably more here. Wrong crowd? Booze? Girl friends? </p>
<p>There’s several behavioral techniques that you can use. Avoid face to face talks – in those you will always be dominant (older male is by default). Instead, look for opportunities to discuss things while moving side by side – such as walking the dog. With you both facing forward, you can all listen.</p>
<p>Take a page, also, from dog training. Immediate, small payouts are far better than big, long term payouts. So, instead of saying “Get all A’s this semester and I’ll give you $500” (or some other big bribe/payout), say instead “Get all your homework turned in tomorrow and I’ll give you five bucks at dinner.” </p>
<p>You may resist this sort of payola scene but, I promise you, it works. You DO have to have the cash and pay it out (promising to catch up with them “tomorrow” undermines the exercise). And, please know, you don’t have to payout all year long. Tell them “hey, turning in homework is a challenge. I read about this from another parent and I’d like to try it next week.” So, five days at $5 apiece is $25 per kid for a one week trial. At the end of the week you haven’t yelled any ( but no turn in, no pay off) and they’ve gotten the practice and the message that it really isn’t that hard to remember to turn stuff in. A night with no assignments? An easy $5 for them.</p>