<p>Frankly, I feel we’ve become way too familiar as a society. I was reared by a southern mom and it would have never occurred to me to call an elder by his/her first name. I’m not stiff or uptight, but I appreciated that at my kids’ school parents and teachers referred to each other as Mr/Miss or Mrs. My daughter is disgusted at her northern university by the way the male students treat female students. Hopefully chivalry is sill alive in the south.</p>
<p>When I think my S has crossed the line as far as his manners, I remind him that if he wants to go to UA, he’d better straighten up.</p>
<p>Men still open doors for women in the South. People still say, “yes ma’am” and “yes sir”. </p>
<p>People still rush up to you to help you carry whatever you’re carrying. If you’re lost or can’t find something, people will go out of their way to show you where you need to go.</p>
<p>One of my favorite experiences (and there are many) happened last year. As I was carrying a big laundry basket full of freshly laundered clothes from the laundromat to my DD’s dorm, a young man ran up to me and insisted on carrying it the rest of the way. Charming!</p>
<p>Malanai, I love your comment! UA affects students and parents positively in ways that are not always readily apparent. And yet, Southern Manners are a delightful surprise coming from the hard-charging Mid-Atlantic region. I would think that in the charming land of aloha you are also surrounded by good manners, right?</p>
<p>One of my favorite experiences (and there are many) happened last year. As I was carrying a big laundry basket full of freshly laundered clothes from the laundromat to my DD’s dorm, a young man ran up to me and insisted on carrying it the rest of the way. Charming!</p>
<p>See!?! What did I tell ya! :)</p>
<p>H and I were carrying some stuff up a dorm stairwell and some kids walking down the stairs stopped and helped us carry our stuff…even tho they had been going in the opposite direction.</p>
<p>Yes, but not nearly to the extent that I’m surrounded when I’m in Alabama (this, I’m sure, will get me in trouble with the locals, lol). You’d be amazed how ill-mannered some folks can be here. </p>
<p>My 22 year-old daughter, born and raised in Hawaii, made her first visit to Alabama to see the Iron Bowl a few weeks ago. She was so blown away by the manners that at one point she reflexively said, “Yes, sir” to me in response to a question. I assure you, those words had never before escaped her lips. :)</p>
<p>YES, here is my local story, which I can only tell you if you all promise to keep it a secret. </p>
<p>We live in the Baltimore area, and are Ravens fans. My son wanted a Courtney Upshaw Ravens jersey for Christmas. We got him one. And wanted to get it signed. It so happens that Upshaw is participating in a signing event on 12/27 almost within walking distance of our house. So we purchased a ticket for him to attend the signing, and get the jersey signed himself. That is the part y’all need to keep secret. </p>
<p>When we purchased the ticket, we had a long conversation with the person that organizes the signings, and Upshaw works with him exclusively (suposedly). He talked about Upshaw’s southern manners, his kindness, and his graciousness at length. Kept repeating what a fine southern man he was, and was so polite. </p>
<p>So there you have it. Southern manners do exist, and they do transcend “fame” and being transplanted to another state.</p>
<p>Manners are still alive in Texas, too. Whenever I go home to Austin, I’m struck by how polite everyone is. It’s different up north. At my kids’ high school here in Maine, boys would be TEASED if they dared open a door for a girl! So disappointing.</p>
<p>Our first Southern experience was our first visit to UA a year and 1/2 ago. I had both girls and we went to the Cypress Inn for a delightful dinner. When we walked in we were hot and tired from walking all over campus touring and we were exhausted. </p>
<p>It was 4:30 but they did not open until 5pm. The hostess refused to let us just sit on the porch and wait and brought us into the bar area…where the waitress immediately brought us sweet tea and sat and talked to us about her experiences at UA. I can assure that few restaurants in Chicago would open 30 minutes early for customers. We felt like guests as opposed to customers that night.</p>
<p>Then when we were leaving and walking thru the parking lot, as people were walking toward the Inn they were saying “have a good night”, “hope you had a good dinner”, etc. My girls looked up at me and asked if I knew them. LOL I just said, no those are Southern manners. A kind word for everyone.</p>
<p>D now has a new beau, who is a Southern boy. She has offered to go dutch when they go out, as they are both starving college students, and he refuses…says that he was not brought up that way. Very sweet and very special. After 4+ months in the South D say’s y’all along w/ ma’am and sir and i firmly believe that she is a better person for being at UA!</p>
<p>We live in a Chicago suburb that we all refer to as “the bubble.” It is a community that has a Norman Rockwell feel to it - town square that still sings real Christmas songs at the tree lighting ceremony and the residents respect one another. </p>
<p>My children were raised to hold doors open for people, to wait for people to exit before entering, to always say please and thank you, and to NEVER touch the car next to ours when they opened the door in a parking lot. They also address all adults by Mr. and Mrs. Their friends address us as Mr. and Mrs. as well. The town we moved from when the kids were in third grade and kindergarten borders our town and their friends from that town call adults by their first name and it’s rare to see them use good manners. They’re not “bad” kids but I would say they border on the rude side. </p>
<p>I was so happy when my son chose Bama because I knew that he would feel at home, and he does. </p>
<p>Well, we still have cotillion over here in Atlanta. The boys have to wear ties and the girls have to wear dresses and hose. You learn which fork gets used when, how to navigate a receiving line, and other valuable life skills. I teach my first graders to ask politely for their meals using the words please and thank you. I also notice that in my neighborhood most of us allowed our children to address family friends as “Miss/Mr” and then a first name (I’m “Miss Whitney” to multiple teenagers and college students!).</p>
<p>We have Cotillion as well. My kids and their friends are all pretty well mannered, though we suspect quite a few of the boys are really just Eddie Haskells! At any rate, now that my oldest is out of college, I’m wondering when the switchover happens to his friends calling us by our first names. I suppose we need to initiate it.</p>
<p>For the most part, the Dallas area still has some Southern manners. I’ve taught my kids to be polite, respectful, etc. Hold doors open, run to grab the door if you see the need (young mom w/ hands full, elderly, someone on crutches, etc). Do NOT hit the cars next to yours when opening car doors (a HUGE pet peeve of mine is door dings). I abhor those that try to rush onto an elevator as soon as the doors open when there could be people exiting. My kids call adults by Mr. & Mrs. Last Name. A few adults insist on being called Mr, Miss First Name. A lot of my DD’s high school band friends call me “Mom” though
My girls did Cotillion when they were younger. They can not stand for a table to not be set properly.</p>
<p>People in the South generally have more traditional manners than people in other areas, Texas excluded (many Southerners do not consider Texas or Florida to be part of the South, but include Kentucky and West Virgina.)</p>
<p>I hold open doors for everyone and offer my seat if the person appears to need it. The concept of calling someone Mr./Mizz (never Mrs.) Firstname has always stuck me as odd. I generally refer to people by their preferred name* (many people in the South use their middle name or go by a nickname that has no relation to their legal name) as I consider UA to be a community of scholars were everyone is equal (I’m also legally a coworker). Even professors who address students by Mr./Ms. Lastname will address me strictly by my first name. There are some people who call me boss rather than the customary sir. I haven’t quite figured that one out, but I don’t think there is any negativity associated with it.</p>
<p>*I’ve also learned that it is a good idea to ask which pronouns a person prefers people to use when talking about them. </p>
<p>The southern manners link was interesting. I noticed that it did not inform people that one is supposed to cross behind a non-school bus unless there is a crosswalk in front of the bus. UA students are lucky that many of the bus stops are incorrectly placed before stoplights rather than after them.</p>
<p>I find the comments about not hitting other car doors with your car door interesting as my parents taught me the rule of “you break it, you buy it.” There is very practical reason why I was taught not to park next to older two-door cars; more door with which to hit your car. Dent repairs are expensive. ;)</p>
<p>I don’t want to highjack the thread & get into this discussion but just wanted to mention the type of people y’all have down in Alabama. The Huntsville AL Hospital ER staff sent pizza & good wishes to the Danbury CT ER. No connection, just wanted to do something nice from what I’ve read.</p>
<p>At my kids’ school in upstate NY there were a lot of people who had southern or Caribbean roots. It was very common to greet people at school events with a big hug. At my kids’ school in the midwest, it’s unusual for people to even greet me with a hello.</p>
<p>Well, we still have cotillion over here in Atlanta. The boys have to wear ties and the girls have to wear dresses and hose. You learn which fork gets used when, how to navigate a receiving line, and other valuable life skills.</p>
<p>My boys went to cotillion in Southern California…same kind of set up, dress, lessons, etc.</p>
