Most of what’s described in the book is not there anymore. No more “senior couches” in the Upper common room, no more “senior area” in the dining hall, and virtually none of the subculture, based on my daughter’s account. People who have not been around the school in the past few years just don’t realize how much has changed. No more shirtless guys bringing in the boar’s head for Thanksgiving dinner… There’s zero tolerance toward differential treatment of freshmen, and toward bullying and discrimination in general, no matter one’s legacy or social status. A longtime teacher was dismissed right away for failing to recognize a certain behavior as hazing. The Living in Comminuty class, required for freshmen and sophomores, was introduced as a forum for discussing difficult issues. The student council has been very effective in bringing the community together and promoting kindness and joy through student-initiated activities. Students are given more voice in making decisions. A gender-neutral dress code was implemented this year. There is a lot going on, and it’s hard to be specific without revealing identities, that’s why I typically offer people to PM me or other current parents/students with questions. The palpable sense of community that the OP (and others) seem to notice is real. Kids make eye contact, greet you, and look happy. Nobody sits alone, eats alone, or stares at their iPhone. Nevertheless, all else considered, it’s understandable that some may have concerns. I just believe that concerns about SPS in 2019 are best addressed by people who have current, first-hand knowledge of SPS in 2019. The OP: If you get admitted, use the revisit days to observe, talk with teachers and students, and interact with potential future classmates. It’s them, not Chessy Prout, that you’ll be going to school with for four years. Trust your own gut. Best wishes for a successful application!
Like @GoatMama I am a current parent. I totally agree with everything she has written. My son loves SPS and has friends from a variety of geographies and all socioeconomic backgrounds. Please feel free to DM with any specific questions.
I think listening to parents of current students is a much better idea than reading a book about a single occurrence. Though I read that too if I was making a decision. Parents and students have to look carefully at the schools they are thinking of sending their kids to/attending. They need to listen to what the head of school says (and doesn’t say). Ask themselves if they think they would fit in there and also go with their gut in terms of what seems correct and what doesn’t. It’s kind that @GoatMama has even said she would answer questions offline. What a great way to ask about specific things on your mind.
Yes, definitely reach out to current parents. And visit yourself. And assess who your kid is.
The last point that @gardenstategal makes is really important. Know who your kid is and what environment they need to thrive, both academically and socially. If not being on top of the social heap will make a girl disintegrate, an acronym school (which often attracts the social heap) may not be the best place for her.
Personally, before we decided to accept the SPS admission offer, I contacted two CC parents whom I respect but who had chosen another school over SPS. They both had very similar reasons why they decided against SPS. My assessment of my own girl was that she has successfully navigated a similar environment in the past and will not have issues with the heap, the wannabe heap, and everyone else. Just know your kid and their needs.
Listen to @gardenstategal and @GoatMama …
There is no such thing as a “best” school that is right for everyone.
Just because someone else’s kid thrives at a particular school, doesn’t mean yours will. Know your kid, know where they do best, and know the schools.
For example, some of the acronym schools are known to be more socially competitive and status driven. If your current environment is already like that, and your kid is already thriving either because they are top of that heap or because they successfully ignore the heap, a socially competitive school might feel just right and even comfortably familiar.
Schools vary greatly in how much autonomy they give kids, too. At 14, I would have LOVED the independence and autonomy given to SPS kids. My own child wanted and needed much more structure.
Know your kid. Know what they need to thrive. Then examine the schools for fit.
My daughter applied to and was accepted by 6 competitive schools as a repeat 9th grader. She is now a V former at SPS and loves it. It was a huge transition for her so I wanted her to make the decision based on her own gut feelings. I had concerns about what transpired in 2015 but she felt the best about SPS. There were similar incidents at her LPS that, of course, never made the national news. At SPS, my daughter felt a sense of connection and family that she didn’t feel elsewhere. She is happy academically, socially and athletically. Though I can’t personally compare the pre 2015 culture to now, I suspect that there is much less “freedom with responsibility” as there is almost a hyper-vigilance against possible infractions. As @GoatMama says, the school actively promotes greater self and social awareness and good decision making through the mandatory Living in Community Program. Even though it is only 2 days and every school rolls out the red carpet, revisit days will allow you to get a fairly true feeling for the community of each school. As many have noted above, individual teens will click with a certain school for a myriad of different reasons. It is a challenge to mentally and emotionally put aside past headlines and perceived status of any school but it is essential to make the best choice. It is a soulful decision best made with a balance of both logic and desire.
Thank you @GoatMama ! That was very relieving to hear – when I visited, I felt like SPS was completely different to the SPS from 2015, but I just needed some reassurance from people who know more about it 
@doddsie15, I don’t think that pre-2015 SPS was all bad or post-2015 SPS is all peaches and cream. I am just trying to say that in my experience the school has done a really good job of reexaminung traditions and refocusing on what’s important to keep. As a result, much of what’s described in the book is just not there today. I find it unfortunate that acronym schools often get wrongly defined by a few publicized events and then get a reputation of some morally failing bastions of rotten privilege… Social obsession with scandal, particularly involving the “elites,” is nothing new. Just observe and talk with current teachers and students, and trust your own gut.
If you have other options, ask yourself WHY choose SPS?
The school’s having recently been given five years of mandatory government oversight should give you pause. An institution puts its interests above those of any particular person/ employee/ student. Do you think your child will flourish in an environment where the institution is primarily focused on saving itself?
Sept 2018: St. Paul’s School to Get State Monitor
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/13/us/st-pauls-school-sex-abuse.html
May 2017: St. Paul’s School Acknowledges Decades of Sexual Misconduct
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/22/us/st-pauls-school-acknowledges-decades-of-sexual-misconduct.html
@Czarek01 you posted the exact same thing on a different thread. What’s your issue? If you/your kid don’t want to attend, don’t - assuming admission, that is. FWIW, the vast majority of SPS students/families I know had other options. It’s not your choice to make.
Which I deleted, since repetitive posts are not allowed.
@Czarek01 - SPS has a strong historic reputation, and is likely working hard to right its ship. It enjoys a deep allegiance from those to whom it has done well (likely case for the GoatMama family), and largely a silence from those that have encountered a more challenging experience there. In comparing schools, some such as Exeter have implemented “student listeners” to facilitate better communication, to compliment the proctor system. SPS ran into issues with a broader culture of silence and inconsistent escalation of student related safety / harassment concerns. But I believe now with an NH Attorney General’s Office state overseer (only peer school with one) it is working to develop a best practice system.
But these issues aren’t resolved overnight, and there was a large shakeup with Rector Hirschfeld’s unexpected departure. Interim Rector Richards has done a good job of setting the stage for Rector Giles to implement her agenda, starting in Fall 2019, a period of rebuilding, with many hopeful she can set a positive course for the School in transition. Late in Rector Hirschfeld’s tenor, within an environment that was understandably chaotic, I understand there were instances of staff on student harassment / neglect that didn’t rise to criminal-level offenses, but which culminated in student withdrawals from SPS.
If you find yourself with the good fortune to be accepted by SPS and other peer schools, congratulations!
We never looked at SPS just due to its location, but have friends who went there and/or send their kids there. While they all love the academics and the school in general, everyone says they have gotten much harsher in terms of discipline and there is very little to no room for stupid stuff teenagers do. And I am not talking about harassment at all, just run of the mill drinking, pot etc. while kids are not even on the school’s watch. Just heard about the most recent incident a couple weeks ago, and know one of the kids asked to leave the school and he is decidedly a ‘good kid’ from our POV. But teenagers have never been known for good judgment, and I think if you want to send your dc to SPS today you better be sure s/he has excellent judgment. And some of the policies, like the fact that just being in presence of alcohol at a party is the same offense as getting drunk at one are very difficult for me to comprehend. Hearing about this whole incident certainly gave me a bunch of things to look into when revisiting the schools our own child is considering. I would suggest anyone considering sending their child to SPS does the same and they and their child are comfortable with what they are signing up for.
^^ SPS is not “my” school, but the policy of treating everyone in the presence of an infraction as guilty of the infraction is not uncommon at BS.
It encourages kids to try to stop classmates from rule-breaking behaviors and if unsuccessful, to leave the situation, making it far less fun for the rule-breaker. It also relieves the school from the awkward situation of determining who seemed to be smoking, for example, and who was simply present, a judgement that most adults recognize from their own past as problematic.
Every year, as new students are signing contracts, new parents are as advised to learn the rules themselves and talk to their kids about them. While I think most parents realize that students often have lapses in judgements, it’s important to remember that most schools have a lot of experience on how to keep their community safe and it’s everyone’s responsibility to help them with that.
The incident described by 417WHB involved a number of stupid kid actions and some very serious destruction of property. While its very unfortunate if there were innocent bystanders caught up in the incident, it was not simply run of the mill drinking/pot. In addition, the only kids asked to leave were those that had a prior record of disciplinary actions.
SPS (and most other boarding schools) expect kids to follow school rules even when on break and away from school grounds. This is clearly spelled out in the handbook and in the emails that are sent prior to breaks. I doubt that any of the schools frequently discussed here would have reacted differently.
“like the fact that just being in presence of alcohol at a party is the same offense”
That’s always been true. It is not new. And to echo another poster, it is true for many schools.
SPS remains a second chance school. They do give students room to goof up and learn from it barring major illegal infractions (think sexual assault, dealing drugs, endangering the life of another, etc.)
It’s “interesting” that those posting misinformation here have very few posts to their name. hmmm…
Hello - does anyone know the attrition rate at SPS?
Also are those who leave asked to go mostly or just kids who do not like it?
I don’t know that anyone knows that, for any school. From memory, my daughter’s class started as 104 in 9th grade, became 144 or so in 10th grade, and is now 143. I can think of 3 people who have left on their own: one in the very beginning, one after first semester of 10th grade, and one transfered out to another BS for 11th grade. There were several who were asked to leave for disciplinary infractions.
Thacher used to state that their attrition rate hovered in the 1-3% range, and that its rate was amongst the lowest:
http://campus.thacher.org/pdf/StrategicPlan.pdf
I don’t think any other school publicly reveals that info, but you can certainly ask. My guess is that most of the ones talked about here are in the 2-3% range.
That said, it is my opinion that the number is meaningless without context. Why did they leave? Were they asked to leave or was it student/parent choice? If by choice, why? Was it the environment or the academics or financial or social or…?