We had heard about an abusive coach that was a catalyst for a few girls leaving, but that was a couple years back. At the time Rector Hirschfeld was under siege and could not “protect” them…My understanding is that such behaviour would not be tolerated today…
Quick question - when we revisited we loved so many things, but the atmosphere felt very heavy and kind of oppressive. I sort of felt like the school views itself as an ice tray that will mold the kids into SPS ice cubes rather than letting them grow into great individuals.
I may be totally wrong.
The handbook also is very detailed on discipline which is reasonable but also gave us a heavy handed feeling. Is it just a place that takes itself very seriously? I did not get any sense of lightness and whimsy that maybe should be part of teenage life. We are very interested in balance.
We want to say yes to SPS but walked away with a headache …
@mothere: What did you love about SPS ?
If your entire family “walked away with a headache”, then SPS is not the school for you.
You experience is unusual, but the point of revisits is, in large part, to assess fit. Don’t go if you feel that the atmosphere is uncomfortable for you & your child.
Thank you.
Also do you feel like the new head will make a huge difference? I found a you tube video of a speech she made and loved her holistic vibe.
She seemed to embody the values I care about in addition to academics.
Do kids feel very regimented or was that a misimpression?
I have not visited SPS in the past few years, but I have never heard of it being described as regimented.
But it is possible that the scandal of a couple of years ago has had some effects on campus life.
St. Paul’s is an academically demanding school filled with self motivated students.
What are the other schools you are considering? Is there another school that felt more aligned with your values?
SPS is known for being less - not more - regimented. It appeals to kids who are failrly independent and don’t need enforced study hall hours or lights out time. Below is an excerpt from a previous communication on the topic. Withholding names as it’s PM communication:
CC contributor:
Schools with mandatory study hall hours and enforced bedtime didn’t appeal to my kid. She enjoys the trust and flexibility of where, when, and how to study. That was the main reason she selected SPS over MX. SPS is best for kids who self-regulate and thrive in such environment.
We loved Middlesex - first choice - waitlisted there.
Maybe question of whether SPS is conformist is closer to what I wonder- is it a safe place to take risks or be different or explore new pursuits. Do they love the kids as they are as well as what they can become?
Everyone was very careful, serious and on message. It felt less genuine that other revisits but perhaps just our snapshot of a small group one day.
What are your other options?
We fell in love with SAS because of its non-conformist culture. It felt like all kinds of kids could thrive there —including quirky kids. It is 100 percent boarding, like SPS, but much more structured… pretty much on the other end of the spectrum. Depending on your family values and style, that’s a plus or a minus.
@mothere I don’t know whether SPS’s culture is conformist or not. I am not even sure what that means, as it seems to mean different things to different people being such a very value-laden concept. But I do know that kids explore new things at SPS - for example, my kid started playing a new instrument, tried two new sports, took art classes she’d never taken. At the same time, her perceived academic strengths and weeknesses got turned on their head. You think you’re a mathy kid? - Maybe… You think you hate English? - Not so fast… Taking risks? - Yes, definitely, but that’s the appeal of BS in general as kids can risk and fail “safely” (a luxury they may not have in college or thereafter). Loving the kids as they are as well as what they can become? - Maybe I’m too naive but I thought all BS do that… All that said, you’ve had multiple reservations about SPS and they don’t seem to go away, so maybe you should listen to your gut and use your other school option(s). No need to rationalize a gut feeling; it’s valid even if irrational.
I’ll claim @GoatMama’s quote above in post #3767. We had a discussion back when she was considering SPS for her daughter.
@mothere I’ve found your posts about SPS a little perplexing because your concerns don’t seem to mirror the SPS I know. Everyone has their own viewpoint and perceptions which is fine and granted my family’s experience is a some years dates now but I doubt that much has changed.
I would continue to put SPS on the less restrictive side, allowing much more freedom than many schools, and therefore attractive in that regard for my family as I stated in my comment posted above.
Student Handbooks definitely SHOULD lay out every rule, every expectation, every consequence. Doing so is plus in my book. Not only did we read through the handbook before the start of each school year but it served as a handy reference throughout the year as well. Schools need rules and need to apply them uniformly to function as a community. Participants need to be aware of expectations. Take that as a good thing. In fact, during my own years at boarding school (a different one), I much preferred the school’s approach of set expectations and known consequences to the inconsistency and emotionality of much parenting.
The good thing is you have options and I agree with @GoatMama that it is okay to go with one’s gut feeling. If you live close enough to visit again, I would consider taking the time and effort to do so to see if you get the same vibe or a different vibe and to ask your questions directly to students, faculty and administration. I’m positive the school would try to accommodate an informal visit for a family who still needs some additional observations and feedback.
@mothere You mentioned that you found SPS to abound in “rah rah athletes”. I agree with @GoatMama and @doschicos that gut feelings shouldn’t be ignored. I let my daughter choose whichever school felt right to her. They were all excellent choices but she was the one who would be living there. She is a serious athlete who chose SPS over Andover, despite the (by far) superior team at Andover. She had a sense of comfort and belonging during revisit days. She is now in Form V and SPS has exceeded our high expectations. I write this not to convince you to overrule your impression on revisit day but to suggest that sometimes you just have to follow your instincts, even if they are quite different than the experiences of others.
Thanks. I guess I am looking for someone to say, “I too had a negative reaction at revisit, but went anyway and we are delighted.”
Honestly we went in planning to put down a deposit because of the many wonderful aspects. Something does not feel right, though, and my child likely will go elsewhere.
For what its worth, we had a very difficult time with this decision as well. My son was admitted from the waitlist so our revisit was actually a regular school day. I would not say that it was a stellar revisit - but we weren’t overwhelmed by our MX revisit either. In the end, the decision was based on close reading of the student handbook, the classes and opportunities offered and which school’s “parenting” style more closely matched my own. SPS was the right decision for my son.
@mothere As several people have said, your impressions are very different from the SPS that we’ve experienced.
However, I’m a big believer that, after you weigh all of the pluses/minuses, facts, and whatever, sometimes it really does come down to a gut decision. Clearly you aren’t comfortable with SPS. If your child agrees with you and has other options, its okay to take SPS off the list.
Follow your gut. You are looking for your kid and something is making you feel it’s not right. It doesn’t have to be about the school, it’s about that school 's fit for your kid.
@GoatMama, I have a few questions re: SPS athletics. As I am not able to PM yet, I would be happy to receive a PM from you to ask you directly. Thanks.
sense of belonging and comfort is most important when evaluating options and making the enrollment decision.
+1
I haven’t logged in to college confidential for some time, but wanted to say hello to the other SPS families. We are so very pleased they ended up at this fantastic school.
I join @KentuckyMomma in the welcome! Any new SPS families around?