<p>I wrote this essay for my Stanford application.<br>
The question was: "What matters to you most, and why?"</p>
<p>I put a weird spin on it and am wondering what people think of it. I was pretty sarcastic with it, but I figured I would have to take a risk if I wanted to get into Stanford.</p>
<p>Here it is:</p>
<pre><code>Matter is what matters most to me. I breathe it, I drink it, I eat it and I am made of it. Without matter, nothing would exist.
My thoughts and beliefs are incredibly important to me, but I would not have any without matter. My brain, which is made of matter, creates and holds my beliefs, so without matter I would think nothing. Figuratively, my thoughts and beliefs make me who I am, but literally matter is what makes me who I am. My heart, brain, lungs, and every other body part of mine are made of matter. My thoughts are very important to me, but in order to have thoughts I must exist, so therefore matter must matter.
My family is also very significant to me. I love my parents, brother, and sister with all my heart. The unfortunate thing is that I would not to be able to love them if matter did not exist, because they would not be alive and I would not have a heart. Even my closest friends are made of matter. I never would have met them if it werent for matter. Just another reason I thank matter every night before I go to bed.
That is why matter is important to me. Without it, I would have no thoughts, no family, and no friends. I would not be writing this essay or have the opportunity to attend Stanford next year if matter did not exist. For these reasons, matter is what matters most to me.
</code></pre>
<p>Interesting for sure. One thing that will make a difference is if the rest of the application carries the same snarky, caustic tone that your essay does. If so it will look really good. If it seems out of character with the rest of your essay it might not go over as well.</p>
<p>1) Don’t post your essay on a public forum. It makes it easier for people to steal it in the future.
2) It doesn’t really matter if there’s a difference in tone between this essay and your other ones. It’s important that your voice carry through throughout your application, but you have have two “jokey” essays and one serious one, or vice versa. It doesn’t really matter.</p>
<p>I agree CantConcentrate. My other Stanford essays are heartfelt and serious, but my roomate one is pretty lighthearted. I feel that it shows another side of my personality.</p>
<p>I think the “what matters most” is a kind of Sophie’s choice essay. What? Is Stanford going to say that she should have taken the daughter instead of the son? What agenda is really behind this question? I could read anyone’s “what matters most” essay and, frankly, if it is not about loving the ones closest to you, then anything else has to matter less. I really don’t like the question. Really, anything else is a stretch – “my old teddybear”? – or a cliche (“my mother’s hug”). Really, Stanford, c’mon. Anyone trying to get original, or even playful, with this question (as the OP does) runs the risk of the adcom simply having a view that says, in effect, “no, there are obviously other greater things that SHOULD be “most important” to anyone” and anyone who takes some outre position is just toying with us.</p>
<p>This is not a good essay. You fail to answer the question: “what matters MOST to you”. Your whole essay was a glorified way of saying: “everything matters to me”.</p>
<ol>
<li> Don’t post your entire essay online.</li>
<li> Def interesting, might come off as a smarta**, just my personal opinion, but I think you should make it heartfelt and genuine. They should have a sense of who you are… Unless that is what you are. (; just kidding, but good luck!</li>
</ol>
<p>I would have to agree with iceui2. The essay isn’t really serving the purpose of the prompt. You should pick only one theme that are most important to you.</p>
<p>I concur with @iceui2. Reading the first few sentences, I already went “urgh” in my mind, and was very disappointed that there was no real shift or elaboration in thought. The essay is unmemorable and tells me little about its writer.
2 cents. Good luck anyway.</p>
<p>I think you guys misinterpreted my comment; I do agree that you don’t need every essay to have the same tone. (In fact, I made my roommate essay more light-hearted as well.) What I’m saying is if this just seems randomly sarcastic they might view it as a cop out.</p>
<p>But I fail to see “who” the author is. There’s obviously a lot about “matter,” but not enough “you” in the essay. When I read some essays, stylistically, it’s great like yours. But when I was done reading and asked myself, “what have I learned about you?” Im not really sure what to say.</p>
<p>This comes across as you being a smart ass simply for the sake of being a smart ass. Instead of discussing “matter”, you should have addressed the idea on a much broader level: There is a universe, and I exist within it. As is, the essay comes across as disingenuous and even a little disrespectful.</p>