I posted this a year or two ago and thought I’d repost again with a few edits.
- YOUR ROOM: Take only the essentials to start. You'll have lots of time and opportunity to add stuff later. It's much better to start out small and get a feel for what makes you happy than showing up big.
- STATUS SYMBOLS: Be wary of status symbols. Don't be the kid who arrives with the gigantic, bad-ass stereo, the big screen computer, the refrigerator (if allowed), a closet of couture clothing, fancy handbags and $300 shoes etc. Turn-off.
- FIRST IMPRESSION: This is first impression time. What kind of person do you want to be? It's up to you now. How do you want your peers, often from radically different cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds to see you? This is where sticking to the basics pays big dividends: lead with a smile, join in whenever you can.
- LAUNDRY: There will be the much-argued decision to do your own laundry or send it out to wash and fold. In that argument (made legend by Parlabane), I do side with the kids who take care of their own laundry. You're on your own now and this is basic plumbing. And when you come home for vacation, keep doing your own laundry!! Why should your Mom always have to do it?
- YOUR ROOMMATE (if they give you one freshman year): This is always a big crapshoot. You may luck out and get someone perfectly compatible or you may have a total nightmare of opposites. More likely it's somewhere in between. If you happen to be in the 5% of kids who get the nightmare match, don't freak out. Give it some time and try to work things out for yourself (yes, that means discussing your concerns directly with the roommate!!). If you have a prefect system or house adviser system, ask for advice.
- YOUR COMMUNITY: Almost nothing is more important (and harder to do when you're new) than engaging in the community and interacting with different kinds of people. When you read comments made by seniors at great boarding schools, most often you'll hear them say "I wish that I had gotten more involved with xyz activity sooner." So be gutsy. Try new stuff. Don't be afraid to fail!
- YOUR FRIENDS: Sure, you'll have a group of kids that you like the most, but whatever you do, don't let yourself become a clique-kid. Talk to everyone, spend time with different kinds of people; get to know them. This is your chance to adopt one of the great habits/skills of all time: the ability to, pleasure in, and comfort with reaching across divides. When you get to college and especially when you're in the workforce, the ability to move easily and happily among different kinds of people is worth its weight in gold. The final piece of advice here: if someone tells you a secret, keep it. Be known as a person who keeps his or her word.
- TIME MANAGEMENT: Despite what I said about engagement in the community, you can be too crazy and sign up for too much stuff too quickly. It's WAY better to experience a month of classes, homework and sports before adding other activities. Calibrate wisely! You might have been the smartest kid in 8th grade (and maybe you'll be the smartest kid in your boarding school class), but chances are that you'll just be another hardworking fish. Moderation and balance are the way to stay happy. Getting to know your limits is a sign of maturity. Finally, when you have free periods during the day, do your homework. Do NOT leave it for nighttime.
- LAUGH AT YOURSELF BUT NOT AT OTHERS: Everybody loves kids who can laugh at their own mistakes. Even if this is painfully hard for you, practice a good attitude, a ready smile, an easy chuckle when you blow something. That old saying "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone" is true. If you can manage not to take yourself too seriously, you'll be amazed at how it helps you socially. And when one of your friends makes a mistake, or has a setback, go out of your way to lend a hand, spend some time, whatever it takes to be there.
- HOMESICK: Yes, you will be homesick. It might be for just one day, or maybe the whole year! Don't freak out. Normal, normal, normal!! When you have a rough day at school, someone's a jerk to you, some clique rebuffed you, some teacher gave you a bad grade, you overheard some hall mate saying something mean and then, at the end of the day, you realize that you can't go home to the comfort of your family and your room, well, it can be really upsetting! I've seen the toughest freshman guys tear up at night. All of this is normal. And you know what? It goes away, bit by bit. One day it will hit you - you haven't felt homesick lately! Looking forward to vacation, yes. Homesick, no. And it's the most empowering, fantastic feeling. Because it means that for the first time, you've begun to figure out how to be happy as an individual, to be comfortable in your own skin. There's really nothing better than gaining this sense of self and self-confidence.
