<p>My D is currently a junior at a boarding school in VA area.
She did not do well in sophomore year and so far this year.
She is thinking about take one year off or transfer back to public.
The reason? She said she is kind of lonely at boarding school, not many friends. She doesn't feel fit in. Even afraid to try some clubs because the kids there "looks" so smart.
as for academic, she got 3 B and 2 C this fall term, not what she (or we) expected. She used to be a straight A at middle school.
But she really likes the teachers at boarding school and her advisers. </p>
<p>She is wondering between stay, take one year off or transfer ?</p>
<p>I'm not confident about that she will be better (both social life or academic) if she stay. As for take one year off, she plans to travel, do volunteer and maybe even get a part time job. I want her come back, transfer back to local public. She has friends there, and the school is pretty good. But the decision is up to her.</p>
<p>Our concern:</p>
<ol>
<li>What the college will think if she take one year off at junior year?</li>
<li>Although her grade now is not so great, but the courses she take are mostly advanced and AP. So, with the Cs, will public school let her take the most challange course like AP or honor, or just put her in regular class?</li>
<li>If she transfer, she will has her fall term grade from boarding school but in early January, there is mid-term exam at public school, that means she only has about one month to adjust and study.<br></li>
</ol>
<p>Have you talked to her teachers about how she can improve her grades and her social life? What is the grade distribution at her school? </p>
<p>Is taking a year off from high school a decision you are comfortable allowing your 15 or 16 year old to make? It seems pretty risky to take a year off from high school, she could decide traveling is better than taking calculus and never return to high school? And with a slim h.s transcript of so-so grades she may have a hard time going to a good college if she decided to by-pass hs after her year off. </p>
<p>If she is miserable at the school and you don’t see things improving in time, I think transferring to the local public school at the end of the year would be the best option, imho.</p>
<p>Agree with emdee. Let her stay the rest of the year. If things don’t get better, transfer to PS or a day school junior year. Transferring in the middle of the school is doable but more complicated - try not to do it unless you have to.</p>
<p>I don’t think one can talk of a junior in high school “taking a year off.” If she is 16, she is able to drop out of school. If she is younger, in most (all?) states, she would be required to be enrolled in school, in some fashion. Maybe your state allows for home schooling, but those rules can be stringent. Once you’ve dropped out of school, it can be psychologically challenging to return to school. </p>
<p>In addition, even if she does manage to take a year off, that gap will look troubling to any college. A serious health issue, such as mono or cancer, sometimes causes students to repeat a year or lose a year of high school, but it will stand out on the transcript. It is unusual, so without an explanation, admission officers may assume there was some sort of serious issue.</p>
<p>I am concerned about her reluctance to join clubs, negative self image, and the general downward trend in her grades. Have you spoken with her adviser about her loneliness and disengagement from the community? Does the school have a psychiatrist on staff, or a mental health provider in the area? It sounds as if your daughter is depressed. Bringing her home may not improve things, if an underlying depression isn’t treated. Of course, depending on the school, just raising the question of clinical depression with them may move the school to require her to take a semester off. You may prefer to bring her home, to see a therapist whom you trust in your area, rather than set off alarm bells without cause. </p>
<p>(Please forgive me if I’ve read too much into your words. As the parent of a boarder myself, I know that there are some questions which are hard to answer at a distance.)</p>
<p>I know people want their children to become independent thinkers, but don’t forget you are the parent. The things anyone decides in high school must be filtered through a parent and to take a year off sounds, well, irresponsible. If she needs a break from every social circle I would encourage “virtual school” which can be on your own hours at home and would still show her being in school. In my state it is considered public school and is different than being home schooled. The transcripts would come from the public school district and she can still participate in EC if she wants. You are letting a child who doesn’t have the maturity and insight you have as a parent make a decision. Don’t feel like you are a bad guy because you make the decision. She may be unhappy no matter what you decide and you have to be willing to make the best decision for her even if it is unpopular with your daughter. She sounds like a bright child and for whatever reason is not fitting in at school but I think it would be a huge mistake to drop out of school. If you want her to decide give her choices. For example give her the choice to stay or come home to ps, but not to take a year off in h.s. Give her choices you can live with so she feels like she has some control and input, but leave out the choices that are unacceptable. It really would look bad for her for college. It will not be seen as her taking a year off (which may already seem to a college admissions person as not being able to follow through with responsibilites) but as dropping out and flakey. And it may raise red flags. The student dropped out of high school because she got a C? They are not going to look at it through your eyes. Sometimes you have to have a little tough love and it is not always the best thing to let a child decide a major life changing decision. Best of luck.</p>
<p>You need to contact the public school and see if the courses are even open for transfer students. Usually AP and honors classes have waiting lists, although that may be different in your school district.</p>
<p>This is only November. If she is very unhappy now, June will seem like a long ways a way. While I wouldn’t allow my DD to take a year off, I would encourage homeschooling her if she needs down time. Talk to her advisers and see what can be done. Teenage years are emotional enough, being unhappy and alone might not be a good idea.</p>
<p>Yes we did talked to her adviser about her life at boarding school. She was unhappy, only one or two friends in her dorm. She will finish her homework but refuse to do any more practice or study. Sometimes she sit in her room and do nothing. Adviser tried to encourage her do some sports or clubs or just hang out with other kids, but she just prefer sit there and read some magazines. </p>
<p>We have not yet talked about take one year off or transfer with school, we want to have a more clear picture about what she needs then we will ask her adviser and school for comments.</p>
<p>One year off is my idea. We won’t homeschooling her but will keep a light academic everyday schedule. Mostly she will focus at volunteer, excise, work job, travel and things she like but doesn’t have time to do at high school, like reading and writing. We will keep a very structured schedule.</p>
<p>I heard some states not allow kids under 17 to stay at home, we are in NJ. School is off this Thursday and Friday, we will contact the BOE and school next Monday. But we really comments from other who has similar experience.</p>
<p>Just wondering, why take a year off? If she really seems to be struggling in BS and you feel she would be better off in PS why not move right back to PS or a private day school? Can you arrange for her to visit a local PS for a few days before making any decisions? I wouldn’t worry about the testing, I imagine she will do fine. Or on the other hand, can she move from her current AP classes to a non AP course? She may feel less intimidated, start rebuilding her confidence, and make some friends.</p>
<p>What I would find worrisome about taking a year off under these circumstances (not thriving socially and academically) is that it may be very hard to return to HS --remember she will be a year older than everyone and will probably not know anyone–and it sounds like that could be another socially awkward time. Also, remember that with a new school, she will have new graduation requirements. She will be at the mercy of what the school district allows to transfer and she may end up taking classes that you/ she feel are fillers or repeats.</p>
<p>However, if you feel that for her well being your D needs time off, then do it…you know her best. Don’t worry about what colleges think about the time off–there are many ways to get to the college of your choice. Every student is unique and just because your daughter arrives having gone a different route doesn’t make her path any less valid.</p>
<p>I know you said you did not plan to homeschool, but it does sound like you will plan a variety of activities for your D. You may decide to look into homeschooling, as she could complete her HS requirements during that year. She will not get a diploma, but she could have test scores, a GED, and a portfolio that would allow her access to college.</p>