Stress Venting Zone

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

Before someone decides to target me for "complaining too much" and "that life is always hard, get over it", the only reason I made this forum was because I felt as if I wasn't the only person being weighed down by stress during high school, whether it's academic or personal. I don't know if it's just me, but when I listen to other people vent I feel better slightly (no, I do not enjoy watching others in pain) because I realize that I'm not the only person suffering. Feel free to vent about whatever you want since we are all anonymous here (I think?), and if someone judges you for feeling stressed about something, ignore them.

Well, here’s my vent.

“High school is going to be the peak of your life.” …please tell me this is a lie.

Everything I do in these four years is not for me. It is for a piece of paper which will dictate which college I will go to. That paper is something that will forever haunt me until I get into a decent college. Okay, that sounded really dramatic. Damn. Extracurricular activities are rarely for fun now days.
“Oh you joined track? Do you like running?”
“No it would look great on my college app if I do it for at least 2 years and win something though.”
“Oh you joined programming club? Cool. What are you guys doing there?”
“I don’t know. Just joined because it would look good on my app.”
“You’re doing community service at the hospital? How is it?”
“Boring. Everyone is so annoying.”
Extracurricular activities are not something that you use to show off. Colleges use the EC’s you list in order to see how passionate you are for things outside of school. But if you simply join to list them on a paper, with not a single ounce of enjoyment for those activities…that beats the purpose. Why would you go through all that pain for a simple list.

AP’s are no longer something for the intellectually advanced and people who want to finish things faster to be able to pursue their dream major right away when they get into college. AP’s are now a category of competition.
“Oh, how many AP’s are you taking next year?”
“3”
“Why are you taking so little. I’m taking 6.”
AP classes are an opportunity for the people who can actually handle it. Not something that you quantify and brag about. If someone feels uncomfortable taking the same number as you, that means they understand that they can’t handle that many. They are brave and intelligent enough to not walk into a trap that will only kill them. Taking less aps then your peers does NOT make you any less intelligent.

Also…parents. Neither of my parents went to college, nor do I have any nearby relatives that can help me with high school pathway into college. However, they constantly tell me that I am a failure and that I will never get into college. That is not something that will help your child succeed in school. Even if they bring a test in with a not-so-great score once in a full moon, that is not a time for you to beat down on your child and tell them to give up their dream. Also, I know that hitting your child with reality is necessary because there are some people out there who don’t understand how expensive colleges are, but saying “I don’t know why I need to pay your college tuition later on. You’re a girl. There is no place out there for you. You’re just going to get married and all the money I payed for your education will be wasted” is not the greatest motivator especially for someone who is struggling to catch up with others who already has information on what they need to accomplish to get into a decent college.

Family problems. Everyone has these. But hearing your sister scream “don’t kill me please” while sobbing, your dad break another vital equipment to daily life, your mom taking out another kitchen utensil while screaming “let’s all die tonight” is not the greatest environment to study for a test. When I get questioned why my academic record jumps up and down, I do not know how to answer that question. So I must act as a silent dumb student who doesn’t study constantly. But that irritates me, for I try, but side obstacles is keeping me from reaching my full capabilities. I envy the people who can afford to simply complain about the occasional moments when their mom pops their head in to ask how they are doing while they are studying. I envy the people who are able to peacefully study, and not feel like someone is going to die downstairs when their back is turned.

High school students are stressed, and I wish people would at least pretend to understand that instead of coming back with a carefree remark like “you guys are at the peak of your life” or “college is so much harder”. We understand, but a little bit understanding wouldn’t hurt.

High school is not like how it was in the past. At least in my opinion.

So yah ^^
Sorry, that was a really long vent. Just had a lot of things bottled up inside of me.

2

It’s ok to vent.
There are many people that join ECs purely because they enjoy it, and not for college apps; find them. Don’t be one of those people that just join ECs for a college app; develop interests and passions, and try to join or even make clubs that express them. Although, there will always be people that think that a college app is more important than passions and interests; don’t hang around those people.
I’m so sorry you have those kind of parents. You deserve a supportive a living environment, not an abusive, unencouraging one. Have you talked to your GC? They will usually be helpful in guiding you as well as helping you with your home problems. Confiding in friends may also help, or even a support group/people going through the same thing.
And you’re right, high school is very stressful. It’s very different from when adults now or parents attended, so that’s why they’re not so understanding of the stress.

3

Ok, my vent:

My (home) situation is very similar to yours. I live in a single parent, abusive home, and it’s very difficult to concentrate at home. The only time my parent is home, she is always shouting or threatening us, and sometimes it gets physical. However, I still excel in academics despite this, and people tend to think that my life is perfect (one of my friends even told this to me), while it is in no way perfect. How is living in this type of environment, with a father who just got out of jail and is living with another family, with a mother who works 24/7, so much that I’ll go a week without seeing her, a perfect life?
I’ve tried to confide in my friends, but most of the time they don’t understand, or make it about them (when I tried to tell one of my friends, she proceeded to tell me “she knows what I mean” and then told me that her parents were annoying because they wouldn’t give her money to buy new clothes). I only have one friend who understands, because she is going through the same thing (but admittedly worse), and that helps A LOT. We are able to comfort each other and help each other through everything, and she is the first person I go to if anything happens.
I love to run; I ran varsity xc and track this year; however my mom is always telling me that I’m not good enough and I should just quit and focus on my studies, what I’m “good at”. It hurts because I try my best, and I NEVER please her; even though I made varsity and was in the top 5 on my team for xc. I know I will never quit though, I love running too much to let her get to me. I just have to prove to her that I am actually a good runner.

End vent. Wow, venting does really help :slight_smile:

4

honestly, i’ve heard that people who peak in high school usually end up being failures later in life
for you guys, though, it seems that the future will be bright, and adversity can only make you stronger. i have heard of several kids from similar situations who worked their butts off, paid for college (sometimes all by THEMSELVES), and went and lived their dreams. so don’t even worry :slight_smile: the scales will balance out, so to speak, and you will have the lives and the happiness that you deserve.when other people fail you, the one thing you can count on is your own hard work.

as for my vent: i have obsessive compulsive disorder and i’ve been having anxiety attacks more and more often. i’m usually really sad and isolated at school, and everyone calls me a “model student,” but they don’t realize how obsessed i am with being perfect. sometimes my disorder makes me so anxious that i cant eat or sleep. i dont talk to anyone about it because i know that people have it a lot worse than i do and im selfish enough as it is; the last thing my friends want, im sure, is to hear me whine about my problems. my dad always yells at me because i cry so often, and my parents dont let me take anxiety medicine anymore. i’m just really tired (im sure we all are) and i feel like ive driven away all the people in my life because im so bitter all the time. i feel so alone, even though i know im not the only person in the world who has an anxiety disorder
and my school is ridiculously competitive, which makes me feel like a complete idiot all the time. everyone else in my math and science classes can pick up the material instantly, and everyone has straight As and I’m struggling just to keep a B in pre-calculus. It makes me feel really crappy because people will always tell me how easy it is and make fun of the kid who aren’t doing well, when they don’t realize that I am one of the kids who isn’t doing well. I regret not taking a harder courseload, but at the same time, im so unhappy as it is and i can only imagine how miserable i’d have been in 6+ AP classes.
and i feel even worse because i’m a girl and i want to go into engineering, but all the boys in my class who have similar aspirations are making way better grades than i am, and they always exclude me. all i do now is sleep and try to avoid my problems.
i just feel really ugly, like emotionally ugly.

5

My problems don’t seem nearly as bad as you guys’, but I still do need to complain about them.

I have so much stuff on my plate. I have to finish a lot of work for the literary magazine I run at the middle school, I have three or four huge projects for school, and on top of that, my parents expect me to study for the SAT Chem and Math II and forget my obligations to my activities. Somehow, I can’t get motivated about something I love (editing) anymore; I can’t even bring myself to do any of my homework. All I want to do is procrastinate, which makes my problems even worse. I’ve had a pretty stress-free year, which is surprising, considering I’m taking one of the hardest schedules I can take (barring an elective class I made an extremely bad decision on). Next year, my schedule will be exponentially harder, but I’ll love all the classes I’m taking. However, if I can’t bring myself to do work now, what will it be like when I’m taking five weighted classes? Chances are that I’ll become an officer for at least one club (maybe two), and I’m thinking of starting a club because I don’t have enough leadership positions. I went to a counseling session at the tutoring place I’m going to go to over the summer for two of my AP classes (there’s no way I could self-study the courses with my internship, and I’m going to go insane if I don’t know anything before my classes start), and they criticized almost every decision I’ve made over the past few years. “You’re the first intelligent guard girl I’ve ever seen.” “Your interests don’t seem to match up. From your schedule, you look like you’re an engineering girl; from your extracurriculars, you look like you’re a humanities girl. On top of that, your summer program is in Bio.” (Um, it’s on evolution, and is in the earth sciences department of the university it’s at.) “Your extracurriculars are okay, but it would be better if you were in Journalism or something.” (Which I was rejected from for the second time this year–way to rub it in.) “Oh, you didn’t self-study any APs? You should have at least six tests done by the end of junior year. Most of the kids in your grade have done it.” (And since when does that provide any benefit to college admissions?) Lately (oh, who am I kidding–it’s always been this way), I’ve felt like I’m not close to any of my friends. Sure, I have a lot of them–but not many of them seem to really understand me. I’m always the one excluded from groups of four, and I’m always the one who is left on the sidelines (case in point: this year, I have not once gotten a group with friends in chemistry for presentations). And on top of that, it seems like everyone in my grade is so much smarter than me. There are people with A+s in everything, and people who have taken the AP Physics C test and scored a 5. There are people in my grade who understand multivariable calculus. There are people in my grade who have done incredible things. What am I, with my 3.8 GPA? I’m not anywhere near as smart as them. And if they’re the people who are going to make it to the Ivies/equivalents, where am I going to go? Probably to my state flagship, but I don’t want to go there–while it’s a very, very good school, it’s too big for me and allows no mobility with major changes; anyhow, a lot of people from my school go there. Plus, my parents also want to ruin my summer plans by making me take SAT prep; at first they weren’t going to make me do it, but now they want me to because “everyone else is doing it.” (Note that I scored at least twenty points higher on the PSAT than many of my friends, and around fifty-sixty points higher than most. I can self-study my way through this. I’m good at things like the SAT.) I have other problems, too, but ones I don’t want to elaborate on here. My problems won’t stop with the summer; if anything, my summer is going to be even busier than my school year (or at least this school year).

That turned out long. Whoops.

6

The odds are good that anyone who tells you these are the best years of your life hasn’t spent a lot of time in a high school lately.

And what a depressing thought-- that at age 18, the best years of your life are already behind you.

I’m sorry for those of you who are living in less than ideal situations. I wish I could offer something to make the problems all go away, but I simply cant. I will tell you that reading the first few posts makes me want to wake my kids up early, just to give them a hug.

As to the emphasis on doing the “right” extra curricular activities and taking the “right” classes-- know that the vast majority of high school kids don’t live that way. They join what sounds appealing and take what sounds appealing-- and they’re not on this site. They’re working in the evenings, or watching Survivor, or playing hockey or on Xbox or Snapchat or Instagram. And they get into colleges, and graduate and go on to live lives as happy as the next person.

I can see, though, that for at least some of you, school is the way out of a rough situation. And I can understand how vitally important it is for you to have those “right” activities and classes.

So, I’m sorry. I can’t offer anything beyond my sympathies and a shoulder to cry on. But I do offer those, sincerely.

The best of luck to you guys. You deserve better than the hand you’ve been dealt.

7

The worst part of high school is feeling like I can’t connect to really anyone… I mean, I had more of a social life in elementary school than I do now. It’s tough to see those who I think I’m close with and realize that they don’t really care about me at all.

8

My vent:
There are so many cute girls at this school I visit, and I can’t meet them because I don’t even have a permit, haha.

If you didn’t already pick it up, I’m being a bit sarcastic… Always try to think positively. There are teens out there who don’t have a roof over their heads. Feel blessed for whatever you have. Sure, high school is tough, but love what you have and cherish every moment.

9

@Newdle

Your post came off sort of like “other people have it worse than you, so you can’t feel like this” response, which I was expecting to see sooner or later (Which is why I even put a disclaimer at the top of my post).

Your advise is great, and I’m happy for the people who can get through their problems optimistically and have room to care for others.

But sometimes…if you go through things such as abuse your entire life, ALWAYS “thinking positively” becomes difficult. Being compared to a homeless teenager does make some people’s problems seem like a joke, but I sincerely feel that everyone has the right to vent whenever or whatever they want.

And online is usually a great place, especially for people who need to complain/rant/vent but have no one nearby who can do so or feel like they are giving a burden to the people near them if they talk about the negative side of their life.

I’m really sorry. I came off as a really oversensitive person. I just went through some bad things today (that I don’t feel like disclosing), and right now a complete wreck so I probably took your comment the wrong way. You were probably trying to give positive advice, but my oversensitiveness is blinding me at the moment.

10

@definedbynumbers Sorry if I came off like that. I’m human; I’ve also had my share of bad days.

At least for me, thinking “positively” has really helped. I don’t know where I’d be without it. In economics, the past is a sunk cost, so I try to think about what’ll end up benefiting everyone else/me the most in the future. If venting makes you feel better, there’s nothing wrong with it.

Here’s something that might lighten up your day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnT7pT6zCcA

11

My vent:

School: I go to a really really competitive school in Texas and my rank sucks to put it plainly. I’m ranked 76/613 at my school even though I have a higher GPA than some top 5%ers at other schools. What I hate about school is the level of competition it fosters. Last year, in precalc, I asked my friend if our teacher checked homework in class. She had precalc 1st period and I had it 6th. I was planning on doing it during lunch if he was going to check it but otherwise I needed to study for an important test 7th period. She said “I forgot”. Seriously, how do you forget something that happened 3 hours ago? Unless you have short term memory loss, you are clearly lying. She’s done that several times. For example, when the teacher was going through the powerpoint too quickly, I would look at her notes to see what I hadnt copied down and she would always “nonchalantly” move it so I couldnt see it but then expect that I show her my notes if she misses something. I think she might be a little wacko cause I can see her happiness when I complain about failing a test. lol anyways. The teachers are nice but super hard. My physics 1 teacher last year accidently put physics 2 topics on the physics 1 test and everyone stressed about it for weeks and on the day of my final exam, I found out that my average went down because of that test even with the curve from 90 to 89.something. I had previously exempted the final and then I had to take it because I had an 89.

Family: My parents are never proud. Hey, you got a 33 on your ACT? Thats too bad. My cousin’s son got a 36 even though he’s really dumb. You should be able to get a 36 easily. I’m like have you ever taken the ACT? They also like to hit me, starve me, not let me sleep, verbally abuse me, and embarrass me on purpose. But they can be really nice when I get good grades. But I thought parents were supposed to love you unconditionally, not just when you get good grades. They expect so much from me and they want me to be the best but they overlook the fact that there’s always going to be someone better than me. They wont even let me go hang out with friends or date… even though the guy I liked liked me back that one time. hehe :slight_smile: Another thing. There’s always something going on in my family. My mother hates and I mean despises her mother in law cause my grandmother is just pure evil (I mean she kicked me out of her house when I was born for the sole reason that I was a girl. And she’s a liar.) And thats why my mother hates her so here I am trying to study for my chemistry and psychology aps which are on the same day btw and my mother and grandmother decide to blow up the house by screaming and yelling on the phone.

Social: As previously mentioned, my friends arent really friends. We just use each other to find out stuff about school and whatnot. We werent always like that but high school made us that way. I really dont get more than 4 hours of sleep per night; I get less or no sleep sometimes. AP exams lasted for 3 weeks (I had 7) and now finals are burdening my back (need a 98 in english, 98 in music history, 96 in apush to get an A)… I’m not eating healthy. I dont have time anymore - either I dont eat or I grab a quick unhealthy snack. I’ve wanted to play volleyball for the longest time. I used to play in middle school cause it didnt count in your GPA, but now it does and my mom is scared that it will bring down my GPA and she never let me play until next year and now I can ONLY make the varsity team cause I’m gonna be a senior. If I dont make it, then volleyball is over for me. My mom made me do debate (I didnt want to) when I was a freshman and now that I like it and actually want to spend time on it so I can do better, my mom hates it! I can only spend 1 hour writing cases that are 4 pages long each otherwise my mom freaks out! And once I had a physics extra credit lecture last year at the same time as my debate tournament and I talked to my teacher and he said I could do an alternate assignment to get the same extra credit and my mom forced me to leave the tournament halfway and go to the lecture to talk to my teacher with me and my debate teacher got mad and me and it wasnt even my fault. Also my physics teacher got mad at me because I was “nagging” him about the extra credit. It wasnt even my fault.

arrgh so many things wrong with my life. i know some yall have worse lives than me and i can empathize with yall. i feel like high school screwed most of us over…

:slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

12

hey!! sahar we go to the same school but I dont know anyone named sahar so…

13

This place makes me feel like i’m not alone :slight_smile:

I’m gonna divide mine’s into School, Family & Social just like @marie112 did, bc genius.

School: It’s that fake it til you make it, and fck all attitude that keeps me alive over there. I know I sound like a bad, aimless person, but I do have an aim & goal in life, & the only way i’ll reach it, is if I shield myself a lil bit, because school’s a very toxic environment & every little thing used to break me, and i’ve learnt now to bring my walls a little higher. I’ve learnt that after trying & trying & trying to be nice to people & getting stabbed in the butt every single time that not giving a sh is the only way, to not be so demotivated & give up :slight_smile: Anyways, I go to this international private school, with the snobbiest rich children who’ll become successful anyhow, because of their dad’s business, and teachers who hate their job. Our teachers come & go, and they have 0 motivation to teach, because they barely get paid & what not. We have no AP courses, all our students cheat and get marks, and we have bullies & cliques, the population is too big and our school is known as a business, it’s so hard to stand out, blah blah blah. My “friends” over at my school treat me like shiz. In 8th & 9th grade, I tried so hard to fit in with them, but they just say the nastiest things to me, and they honestly hurt me so much, but they’re the best I could find, and i’ve always had this OCD of being alone, so I have to live through it, whatsoever. I let it affect my studies (something I was always good at) & I ended up getting bad grades in freshman year, and that was devastating, because studies were the only thing I loved, because everything else was taken away because of this school. Education was hard because no teacher would make it interesting. EC’s were becoming tough. I loved chess so freaking much, I had a huge rating in America, but I came here, and the chess teacher told me that there was no space for me. Singing is something I enjoy, so freaking much. I used to live off of music, but the singing teacher at this school rejected my auditions for choir 3 times, told me I couldn’t sing, and in my previous school I was selected for shows & stuff, lead vocals. but now I feel so untalented. I can’t get selected into any singing gig. :confused: I love basketball, but only the popular kids are allowed to play, and I don’t have a chance to be there. So my EC’s are normal college app EC’s; things that I am forced to enjoy, debate, public speaking, mun’s, ugh. I could go on complaining, but that won’t help my situation out. Anyways I just don’t give a flying fck anymore about anyone here, so i’m just trying to get through it, and i’m learning to love myself & strive for myself and these day’s i’m trying to do what I love. Like, I joined in piano class again, the reason I left that class was because it was too embarassing, because no other sane girl would go there, and the only kids at our piano school co curricular, were the weird kids. but I just don’t care anymore. I love piano & I will do it :), I gotta strive, I gotta get through the next 3 years with flying colors, and a positive attitude, no matter how bad I want to give up and cry, So yeah

Family: My family sigh. They’re good people, only if i’m a perfectionist, and i’m rarely that. I’m most of the time a wasting away, procastinator/daydreamer/hopeless romantic/idiotic/depressed emotional girl, and they don’t like any of that haha. And they try hard enough, to live their life through me, which i’ve realized after these past couple of years. They’re well educated, and they want me to prosper better than them, and me as an individual; I want to be educated & smart & all that, but this environment has gotten the best of me + the fact that my parents only love me when I get good grades & international rankings, and the entire 9th grade i’ve failed to do that, so i’ve seen their bad side. I’m just coming to realization, that i’m gonna do what I love, for myself, and not anyone else. So whatever AP’s i’m doing this year - for myself. Studying - For myself. EC’s - for myself. Not an Ivy, not my parents MYSELF. Because this freaking sucks, and I won’t get anywhere if I don’t start doing stuff because I WANT to do it. My parents tell me a million times that they’ve given up on me, that I bought shame to the family, my mom cried because of my report card!?!?! Why? Because of a fcking C. My dad breaks my electronics, dislocated my arm once. Why? Education reasons, sometimes Behavioral reasons. He has temper issues, irritated way too easily. Because I cry too much, or because I dropped a plate. But these past days, i’ve been finding my drive to succeed, and it’s not for anyone. It’s because I want a good future, and I don’t want my school, and my family to get in the way of that. Demotivate me to that level. So i’m working on it. - the family support. - the friends. - the school support. It’s hard, man.

Social: Either too many “friends”. Or a loner. = me. I was known to have a lot of friends in freshman year. They sucked the life out of me. Made me cry every night. Made me do shiz I didn’t want to do. It was so freaking toxic. Better being a loner here than popular though. But I can’t get myself to be a lone. It’s hard for me to sit a lone, I don’t know. I think I have a problem. My friends are mean to me. They hurt me. They’re so different from me. They have different goals, motives… and then here I am. An outcast. But I fake it so hard, just to live through it. It’ll all be over in 3 years, and i’ll be way more successful, than those mean mean mean cruel drunkards.

14

Lifehack: use “freaking” or “flipping” instead :stuck_out_tongue:

15

i feel you @nxvyaa but hopefully it gets better soon!

Another thing i hate about high school is that the cheaters always get the highest grades. I was in decathlon this year and imagine my surprise when one of the guys I thought was an aimless unmotivated guy turned out to have a really really high GPA. I thought he was actually just smart. turns out he gets test questions from people you took the tests in the periods before him! and if he couldnt get those, he would fake throwing up, go to the nurse’s office and get sent home! my parents dont understand that my rank is this because of cheaters like those. I would probably go up 20 more people and get in the top 8-9% if not for those people. this just shows us how useless it is to do your own work and be honest.

16

@definedbynumbers Wow! That is incredibly hard to deal with! Honestly though, for some families, college will be a major improvement (make sure you escape to another state through scholarship or something. Perhaps even add some safeties like Uni of Ala). At least after the ride, you will be ahead of most high schoolers who lived in luxury.

Vent: I wish I knew something about life before entering high school. I entered in without a brain and that seriously ruined by chances. I would blame a lack of resources, but the fault lies with me. As a time machine doesn’t exist (yet), I will simply take solace in looking toward the future. Also, I vent about how hard it is to climb once you’ve fallen (metaphorically?), as well as some uninformed people acting smart around me.

17

My vent:

School: When I was signing up for all honors classes my freshman year, I was super exited, after having an extremely easy and boring time in my previous classes. However, reality slapped me in the face. I thought I would meet people who actually share a passion in those subjects, but all I found were people doing it for the GPA boost. The classes all in all weren’t that hard, because they overcompensate for those who didn’t belong in that class. Not only that, but many students in our class didn’t work as hard as some of the smartest kids in out classes, but received the same grade. I feel pressured to take all these honors classes next year, but I know that because colleges are becoming more and more selective, honors courses will soon be an expectation(they almost are already). I joined a bunch of EC’s, and they were enjoyable, for the most part. However, one thing that annoyed me to no end was the fact that some students would ditch the club, but still put it on their college aps. During Science Olympiad season, our regional tournament date was released the day our club began. However, the VP of the club, who already put his position on the club to numerous colleges, quit four weeks before the date of the competition. We had to do THREE of his build events, none of which he started. This brought our average down enough for use to not go to state. However, he got credit on his Apps for his position. Same thing happened in academic team, to a lesser extent. 2/3 of the “team” quit within the first 2 months of practice, but they STILL got to put it on their Apps. It’s just really frustrating as a person who devotes so much time to all of his club, only to get it ruined by some other student, or realizing you get the same amount of credit for the EC as someone who barely participated.
Home: My home life isn’t horrible. I get along with my sister extremely well, and my mom and I have a good relationship. My dad… he doesn’t understand the whole overachiever thing. He doesn’t get why I join 6+ clubs, or take 6 honors courses. It’s just hard whenever someone doesn’t understand the pressure you’re put under (both internally and externally), and they make it sound like it’s easy. I put at least 4-6 hours on academics and EC’s per day. I have always been overshadowed by my older sister. My sister is in college, and even when she’s not here, I am still constantly compared to her. They have made it VERY apparent they favor her over me. Just looking at a wall of our house, you see at least two dozen pictures of her in just our living room. Not one of me. It’s the little signs like that that make it hard to feel like I’m valued in my family.
Social: I have quite a few friends at school, and I am very thankful for them. There are some “friends” that I can’t stand to be around though. I feel respected by my peers, both older, and those who are my age. A lot of times, it feels like they see my persona of an outgoing, quirky nerd, but in reality, there is so much they don’t know about me. After summer happened, no one at my school knows about my eating disorder(anorexia transitioned to bulimia, due to bullying by my peers in middle school. I’m talking 40+ pounds lost in less than two months, 30 more in the following two months). It just feels like I’m lying to them. I can wear the persona, but I am terrified that if they find out, my popularity and respect will fade.
On the plus side, I am friends with the popular girls at our school, even though I get along best with the nerds. My friend “Lucy” says they want a gay best friend, and that’s why they hang out with me so much. The thing is, I’m straight. XD (I am just fabulous, I swear). I’ve just never questioned them on it. The thing is, having connections with them is a huge advantage, so it’s to my advantage not to. They got me all the signatures I needed to get on the ballot or student council(100 signatures) in one day. This allowed me to get my name on the ballot( my teacher didn’t tell me I had to get all the sigs. by the end of Friday. The girls got my the sigs. I needed my third hour). They also helped me advertise for trivia night (an academic team event). They showed up, and filled three tables with people they brought. We only had 8 tables in total, so this helped us raise quite a sum for the team. Moral of the story: Having connections with Regina George had it’s advantages :).

All in all, not a awful year, considering the following. At least I had people to help me out. This year would’ve sucked without friends I could count on. Home life wasn’t great, but I kept myself busy enough that I didn’t really have time to notice. And. As for the students in my classes, hopefully the first honors classes filtered at least some of the kids that don’t belong in that level of classes out.