Student Invading Parents Forum

Parents Forum
21

<p>I took a wide swath of different courses, ones that just appealed to me at the time I started college. Then I took some more. I didn’t have to major until my 3rd year and I chose an area that appealed to me the most when I had to declare a major- it was actually so enjoyable I found it very easy to do very well. After graduation, I wasn’t sure what I’d do, but grad school options were plentiful. So i worked a bit to realize some of the paths were not for me. And after working awhile, I chose a somewhat related Masters’ degree (to my undergrad major) and discovered I had a talent for research. So then to a PhD in a field with lots of actual jobs that pay well (but I really just lucked out with the paying well part-- I didn’t even have a clue about that aspect until I was already enrolled in my PhD). </p>

<p>In my case, I was very fortunate that I always just followed what I was drawn to and really really liked, and that meant I could also be really good at it and immerse myself in it. I should add I was never very internally motivated with areas of study I did not enjoy (I always found it painful and didn’t do so well) so… this was my solution. I had some rough ideas of how this path would translate into a job but it was mostly just a general belief that it would somehow work out even though I was not sure how it would at the time. </p>

<p>I still generally believe in exposing oneself to lots of areas of study early on if you don’t know your ‘thing’. But once you find that which really turns you on, it will lead to excellent performance, which tends to open so many doors (some expected, some not so). Of course no path will always be fun and interesting (there will no doubt be tough spots, unpleasant courses, lots of work), but I think life is too short to waste on doing things that are not intrinsically interesting.</p>

22

<p>My kids are lucky in that they spend 2-3 years at their school doing a lot of tailored exercises to help choose potential occupations, majors and schools gradually over time. </p>

<p>They do a number of different self-assessments/career inventories, collecting information about themselves and occupations. These tap into one’s strengths and interests, and produce potential career ideas that suit those strengths and interests. I imagine you can find many of these online so I highly recommend starting there. I think if you google, find and completely a handful, and focus on the common results, it will provide a better answer that just one alone (since some are not so good). </p>

<p>They also do exercises. I will provide one here as it has some good questions you might find useful for yourself to think about yourself after you do the inventories:</p>

<p>Choose one career that appears in all your inventory results, that you would like to learn more about. Now write out answers to the following questions (and the school provides a list of websites, but you may find your own with google).</p>

<p>These are the questions:

  1. What is the career you have selected, and why did you select it?
  2. How would you describe the job of someone asked you what do you do for a living?
  3. What education is required for this career and how many years
  4. Choose 2-3 colleges that provide the necessary education for this career (name them, what degree program would you enter, what is the tuition, what are the pros and cons of each institution?)
  5. What are the duties and responsibilities within this career? What would you be doing on a daily basis?;
  6. What kind of working environment is associated with this career?;
  7. What are the future predictions for available jobs in this career field?;
  8. What is the salary range for this career?
  9. How does this career impact lifestyle?;
  10. What are the rhythms for this career – shifts, work hours, seasonal cycles, busy vs.
    ‘down’ times, etc.;
  11. Write a one page reflection on your current feelings and attitudes towards this career – what are its pros and cons? What’s interesting and what’s scary about it? Does this career align with your ‘very important’ personal values, if not could you work through the contradictions? Is there any discrepancies with regards to any of the personal assessments you completed? Was it easy to find information about this career? What unanswered questions do you have about this career?</p>
23

<p>To the OP – like you, I was dysfunctionally indecisive – had too many interests, and could not commit for fear of picking something I’d end up regretting as a major. After changing my mind at least 5 times (music, theatre, journalism, science, languages) I finally settled on English. I liked to read, I liked to write, and I liked music. An English major gave me a lot of each. Minored in French.</p>

<p>There are those, like my cousin, who knew from the time he was 10 he wanted to be a lawyer and perhaps go into politics. Since he was TEN. I found that so impressive and thought I was weird for not being so focused. And that’s precisely what he did. And he’s happy, but oddly enough, I don’t think as happy as HE thought he’d be. Maybe it’s because he started the “what if” thinking well after he was ensconced in his dream job and it was too late. That is, “what if” I’d gone in this direction instead? Or that? Or took a year off and traveled the world. What if? What if? </p>

<p>Two dangerous words. I suspect he’ll always have regrets. I have none. I explored every interest with passion, went off in every direction I could. Yes, my path took me probably 12 years longer than his path, but I am the happier for it, with no regrets. It wasn’t a waste for me. What I experienced and what I learned make me who I am and am certain I made the right choices.</p>

24

<p>Don’t make the mistake of assuming that your major has to be the foundation for a career.</p>

<p>MOST college majors are not specifically job related or career related. History majors don’t usually end up earning their living as historians, English majors don’t all become playwrights and poets, etc. If you want to be an engineer or an architect – then you probably need to choose a career-oriented major in college. If you think you might want to be a doctor, you would only need to fill some pre-med requirements – you could actually do that while majoring in something entirely unrelated to medicine. </p>

<p>A lot of people make their livings doing things that didn’t require college degrees in any specific area – but they are able to do better or have a more satisfying life and career because they are well educated, and they benefit from the intellectual and academic environment they experienced in college. For example, you might major in a foreign language, spending time abroad gaining fluency, and later get hired for a position where language proficiency is an asset – even though the job itself has nothing to do with foreign language study. </p>

<p>So basically – you should use your first year in college to explore, taking a broad range of introductory courses (and fulfilling your general ed or core requirement), and then follow your own interests and inclinations. Major at whatever you feel excited about and are good at – and don’t expect that you will know that before you actually take the courses. A lot of times college courses end up being very different from what you expected.</p>

25

<p>One more note – a person’s path through college is often determined by the PEOPLE who teach various subjects, and not the actual subjects. You sign up for a course in something or other just to fill a requirement, or because it is intriguing, or because you have an opening on your schedule Tuesday & Thursday morning and that class looks mildly interesting and happens to fit your schedule. Then you realize that the professor is totally amazing – you are in awe, you find yourself hanging on the profs every word. So you sign up for something else that prof teaches the following semester… and it turns out that there are a couple of other profs in that department who are pretty good … and by the time you are selecting a major, it seems impossible to consider anything else. </p>

<p>Or it can go the other way. You are really intrigued by some subject, you think you would love to major in it… but the first class you take, the prof is a real dud. You can barely keep your eyes open during her lectures. You think, well, maybe it was just that one prof and you sign up for something else in that department… and it gets worse. In frustration, you set up a meeting with the head of the department… and that department head turns out to be a total jerk who is rude and dismissive to you… and you pretty much decide you don’t want anything to do with any of them. (I would have been a poli sci major, if only the poli sci department at my college had different profs – there was one really great lecturer, but they fired him… so that was the end of my poli sci career. My daughter, on the other hand, was taking a course from a truly amazing poli sci prof when the time for selecting a major rolled around… so of course she opted to stick with her college’s excellent poli sci dept.).</p>

26

<p>In Mexico, where I grew up, you don’t have to go to college before you start professional studies. You just finish year 12 of school, or “preparatoria,” and go into medicine (which is 7 years long,) or dental school (4 years,) or engineering (4), or law (4), or whatever. When you are in your tenth year, you have to choose what “area” you want to study, which could be “Chem-Bio,” or “Humanities,” or any other. </p>

<p>If you chose the Chem-Bio area, you can go into any career you want, but if you choose another area, you’re limited in your choice of career. I therefore chose Chem-Bio to give myself a little more time to decide (I was a year ahead in school, so I was 14 at the time, I think,) and then entered dental school when I was 16 and finished at 20, which is the age my S has now, and he’s a sophomore in college. </p>

<p>He says he can’t make up his mind, but I can honestly tell you, if you absolutely HAVE to, you can make up your mind pretty early in life. And I never regretted it. My reasons, though infantile, are still true:</p>

<p>“Well, I like Biology, but like to play with my erector set, so I guess I’m mecanically inclined as well. I like to make pretty things and then hold them in my hand and feel proud of what I’ve done. I don’t like wearing a suit. I don’t like anyone telling me what to do, so I don’t want to have a boss. I like to have complete control of what I do, and I am too much of a worry wart to want extraneous factors interfering with my decisions. I want to be able to take a vacation whenever I want. Hmmm. I think I want to be a dentist.”</p>

27

<p>I went into college thinking I would major in history and literature. I knew by the end of my first semester I’d shoot myself if I had to read any more political theory. (Of course I didn’t since I still had to take the second half of the course that was driving me crazy.) Second semester I took a course on prints and printmaking. I realized that I needed to be making stuff not just writing about it. I ended up majoring in Visual and Environmental Studies a sort of hodge podge major that involved a lot of art, a little film, a little design, a little art theory and a lot of architectural history. I went to grad school in architecture and for the most part I’ve been very happy with the choice. I’d actually vaguely thought about architecture even in high school since I liked both art and math, but wasn’t ready to commit myself straight out of high school.</p>

<p>My older son has known what he’d do since he was seven.</p>

<p>My youngest brother thought he’d go into biology, but couldn’t stand taking classes with premeds and drifted off to comp sci with a strong interest in computer graphics and applying science to art and vice versa.</p>

<p>And Calmom is right a professor can have a big influence. I was totally addicted to the courses taught by a particular professor in architectural history.</p>

28

<p>Hardest time choosing a major. First interest was psych. Then I realized that all the psych majors were crazy :wink: I loved biology, esp. botany (possibly my true love), and English. Got to the end of soph year undeclared taking requirements and liking everything except math. I was spending junior year in Europe and had to declare before I left. Took some tests at the campus academic/career counseling center but that didn’t help much. Looking at degree requirements, I saw that English Lit.was the “loosest” major–I could come back from Europe as a senior and finish all my junior/senior courses in one year and graduate on time! It would take me an extra semester to finish a biology major AND (deal breaker) I’d have to take calculus. English Lit it was. I recall petitioning the department to use several hours of architecture toward my major–I think my reasoning was lame, but it was allowed. Btw, Senior year I noticed that the same guy was in ALL my lit classes (maybe HE was my true love?)–turns out he was pre-med and changed his major from chemistry to lit his senior year–“to look more interesting on med school applications.” (??) I also squeezed in a minor in TESL and was (stupidly) one course short of a French minor, too. I later got an MA also in Lit/TESL. Looking back, I think both of my degrees were mistakes–I don’t really regret them, just wish I’d done something more marketable, something that I really felt “called” to do. Still waiting for that call! I worked for 8 years before becoming a SAHM. H was a history major, now a physician. We’re both still interested in just about everything. </p>

<p>S#1 has a liberal arts degree. He’s teaching, but still doesn’t know what he “really” wants to do. D#1 got a root canal at age 15. This was such a wonderful experience that she decided to become a dentist (no joke!) She’s a biology major.</p>

29

<p>For all of his life, my dad would often say he didn’t know what he wanted to be when he grew up. I actually understand that sentiment and feel that way often myself.</p>

<p>I wanted to be an Art major or Music major, but my parents thought I should do something more - intellectual? So after being an Art major for 6 weeks, and being told I would have to weave and throw pots, I quickly became a Psych major. I really enjoyed my major to the fullest and have graduate degrees as well. I worked in my field before becoming a SAHM for many years. The great thing about a psych major is that you get to use your “sweet skills” with regard to people, their behaviors, motivations, etc. your whole life. The Child Psych classes have also come in handy with 3 kids.</p>

<p>However… if I really did what I wanted, I would’ve become a piano teacher, or an artist (drawing and painting only), a landscape designer or a party organizer. : )</p>

30

<p>I agree with many of the posters who advise you to follow your dreams, in one way or another. But, I caution you that if your “dream” includes marriage and kids, you had better prepare yourself for a career that earns you money. That is not to say that you have to major in something that is more training, than education, but you had better keep your eye on the ball.</p>

31

<p>This is such a smart question to be asking at your age! I went to college because that was what I was supposed to do. Became an English major because I loved to read and because literature had really changed my life, thanks to some great high school teachers. Graduated, said “I will never write another essay!” After various 9-5 jobs, I started thinking maybe writing wasn’t such an awful choice. Went to get my MFA and became a writer-- I curse it daily, but I love it too, and it has given me more pleasure and interest than any “safe,practical” choice would have. </p>

<p>My D has a real passion and will go to school for that-- and I wonder if she will start looking around later and wish she’d been less focused at this young age. </p>

<p>But OP-- I don’t think any time is wasted (though I know it can feel like that at 18). People make lives out of every combination of interests, capabilities, and aversions. If you take one class in something, you may discover a fascination that adds immeasurably to your life. And life is looo-ooo-ong these days!</p>

32

<p>I can’t help but smile at the many students here who have their whole academic lives mapped out. Relax, I want to tell them. I picked a college based on the aid offered (LAC over the state flagship) and changed my major 5 times. Took a great intro course in a field I was dead set against and kept coming back to it. What do I do now? Teach in that field and work with incoming college freshmen.</p>

33

<p>as a HS senior applicant, I was pretty sure I wanted to major in social science, either econ, poli sci, sociology, or history. Mainly one of the first two. First semester freshman year I took intro to Am Gov, and intro to Econ. By the end of the year, I was sure I wanted to major in Econ, cause I liked doing it, studying it, and also felt it was well fitted to a number of career directions I was contemplating. I don’t think Ive ever regretted that decision, even though at various points my career was closer or farther from econ (and oddly, it actually got closer to econ several years out of school than it was at some points earlier in my career).</p>