@MaxedOutMom , please consider the ramifications of taking on so much debt as a lower income earner. I know it is just awful not be able to give your child the opportunity to attend their dream school, but 100k+ in debt is a nightmare scenario for a low/modest income family! My 2 younger daughters are not attending their 1st choice colleges due to financial concerns, and in the end, they are happy with the choices and will be able to limit their loans to the federal student loans which they can get on their own(27k + interest) which will still be like having a car payment for 10 years, without actually having the car!
My middle daughter really had her heart set on attending an expensive OOS public, which she could only attend if she won a competitive full ride scholarship. She was invited to the scholarship competition weekend, but in the end did not win the full- ride. The merit aid she was offered still left a price tag of 25k the first year, and would be higher years 2-4. She knew from the outset of the application process that that price tag was too high for our family. She was upset for a short time until she grieved and let that “dream school” go, then she moved on and learned to love the schools which showed her more love and had price tags which fit our budget.
As mom2k points out, transfer aid is much worse than freshman aid, so using that as a financial backup plan does not make sense. A gap year makes much more sense for your situation, especially if your child can participate in some activities to boost her application and improve test scores, getting her a better financial aid package for all 4 years.
My husband lost his job just as our oldest daughter was applying to colleges, but she could still attend due to a large merit scholarship. Job losses and medical issues do happen and are especially problematic in a single parent household. Your credit score may have a big drop with these large loans, affecting your ability to get low rates on other loans you may need, car/mortgage, etc. , car/home insurance, the ability to get a new job, etc.
Unexpected expenses do happen regularly in my life- cars need repairs, kitchen appliances die, house needs repairs, etc. Our health insurance coverage keeps getting worse, with higher copays and deductibles, etc. my youngest needed an emergency tonsillectomy last year and we ended up having to pay $3500 out of pocket.
One of the most valuable things a can parent teach their children is good fiscal behavior and money management skills. Your current plan is teaching your child that maxing out loans and drowning in debt no matter the consequences is a good idea. Clearly you love your child and like most parents you want to help her fulfill her dreams, but think about the true cost of what you are doing.