<p>I’m with Kennedy2010… when our youngest, DD4 heads off to college, we’re downsizing to a 1bd condo. Sorry guys, no room for you here! You’re on your own!</p>
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<p>I wouldn’t, but I would be worried about “lack of initiative” just as much if my child didn’t want to, or couldn’t, live on his or her own after college.</p>
<p>I would have no problem having my kids back at home…Hopefully with a job, but I believe in the family unit, taking care of your own. Much better than having the state do it.</p>
<p>I must be crazy, but I wouldn’t care at all if my kids wanted to come back and live here after college. In fact, we are in the process of moving and have made sure each of them has their own room in our house, even though oldest is off working after graduation and has no intention of moving in with us.</p>
<p>Look at the past. Families lived together. There were family homes. This everybody moving someplace else far from each other, or whatnot, is one way, but it’s not the only way for an adult to be productive and busy. </p>
<p>I’ve made it clear to my kids they will always have a place in my home. Maybe that’s why they don’t want to come home.</p>
<p>ML–I’m always sorry to hear of your challenges with your oldest. I’m hoping every time I read one of your posts for a major medical breaththrough for him in the next while. take care.</p>
<p>The idea that a kid must move out on their own post college with a large amount of debt and grossly inflated cost of rent and living means people are going to have to wise up to the idea of living with family in larger homes instead of renting apartments. Few college graduates have the ability to truly afford an apartment while paying off the average debt load without having to resort to more debt.</p>
<p>geeps, there are not just two options–kids living at home or being dependent on welfare. Most of us hope for the best–that our well-prepared and well-educated kids will find jobs after college and become independent adults. </p>
<p>Of course most of us who say we would prefer our kids make it on their own would still take them in if they suffered some hardship or were unable to find gainful employment. It’s just not a situation we hope will come to pass.</p>
<p>I have one living off on her own and 2 in college. I used to worry about my S ending up back with us, I know that he will be seeking employment when he graduates, but if he ends up back at home, well, there are much worse things that could happen!</p>
<p>We have a fairly modest, paid-off home with a nice yard. I plan to be here another 20-25 years. In fact, we bought it from my in-laws. It’s been in the family for 60 years. No plans to downsize, but I doubt any of the kids will stick around the area to buy it from us.</p>
<p>We have made it clear our kids are always welcome at our home, but we do expect them to earn a living. We have mostly left each of their bedrooms intact. ;). A is 5000 miles away and recently completed his 2nd year of work. D is figuring out where to live 2500
Miles away, and job hunting.</p>
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<p>Agree completely. It is not like my kids would not be welcome in my home, and certainly if there is some hardship, I’m there for them! However, it is not like I wouldn’t want them around, but I don’t want that for THEM. I feel once they are given their education, a gift from us, they are adults and need to support themselves. While my kids know we would expect that, they ALSO want that. During the college years, my kids spent every summer working in their respective fields but away from home and we did not pay their living expenses if not at home. Upon their graduation day (one from undergrad and one from grad school), they were on their own. Both had jobs lined up before graduation in their fields and support themselves fully in other states. In fact, one starts Monday (lots of years of schooling). The other graduated college at age 20 and has supported herself except health insurance since graduation day, away from home. </p>
<p>I am not criticizing those whose kids lives at home post college, but for me, this is less than ideal for their sake as it is time to be independent in all respects. My kids would not want to do it anyway. </p>
<p>PS, my two kids are now 24 and 26.</p>
<p>I also agree with HIMom, that if a young adult opts to live at home, they need to be working and hopefully working toward a goal of living independently. I love my kids like everyone else and of course love having them around, but I think this is what young adults need to be doing.</p>
<p>Sallly305…I would suggest you stop reading my posts if you can’t help yourself…</p>
<p>The other part of this is that some of us also find ourselves in transition once our nests are empty, and that has an impact on our willingness to keep providing a home for our kids. I am thinking seriously about moving to a bigger city once my second child is in college. (I still have 15 or more years of work ahead of me, and a bigger market would offer more opportunities.) I am concerned about how my kids might react to this but I can’t promise that I will be able to maintain their childhood home base forever.</p>
<p>I opted to move into my own apartment when I graduated from law school after a short while living at home because it was just too crowded at home for my tastes. I was working full time at my career and got a great place, a few miles from my office. It was perfect for me. Many of my sibs lived with my folks until they married or turned about 35 or bought their own place. (Housing in Honolulu is outrageously expensive.). My sis lives with ther H, S and MIL in MIL’s house. Her BIL lives with his W and MIL in MIL’s house. </p>
<p>Folks make things work and sometimes there are side benefits, especially as seniors age and can live in their own homes with loved ones instead of moving somewhere they aren’t interested in moving to. It is a complicated issue.</p>
<p>I wonder, if we were to put that number on a percentage basis… if it would be actually higher than in previous decades.</p>
<p>There are more young adults than there have ever been. So the “record number” might not really be the record by percentage. I will not do that research; just wanted to bring up the logic.</p>
<p>They cannot move back. I plan to sell our house when D2 leaves for college. I am going to travel the world.</p>
<p>I think it is great that kids are moving back in with their parents. I don’t think it is great when they do that and then blow all their money on expensive toys and partying. But, when it comes to saving up for the future, being frugal, and reconnected with the parents, I think it is great. Nothing wrong with it at all.</p>
<p>Parental homes are bigger than ever. Families are smaller. </p>
<p>I’ll admit that anecdotes aren’t data, but here’s what I see in my neighborhood:
Friend 1 has a nephew from the rust belt living with her because he got a job in the area and is saving for first,last and deposit on an apartment. His sister used to live with my friend while she job hunted and lived there again for 6 months while she waited for house to be built. Their aunt and uncle enjoyed their presence and had a big house available.<br>
Friend 2 has a daughter back at home - she got a teaching job but won’t have a paycheck until late Sept.
Friend 3 has a son back home. He has been hired in a management position at the restaurant he worked at during college. The large chain restaurant has told him he will be expected to move to another city in 6 to 9 months.
Friend 4 has a daughter who works as a live-in nanny. It makes things much easier to have D keep a room at parents house.
All of these young people are working. The houses have room, the presence of these young people is enriching the lives of my friends.</p>
<p>I have the distinct impression that mine don’t plan on coming back which is fine with me. S1 is eeking out a living after graduating a couple years ago. If something financially catastrophic happened to any of them they know they are welcome, but they also know that graduation marks a time to strike out on their own. I really think this is one of those ‘to each his own’ situations. The worse scenario to me would be having a kid in the house that was doing nothing, but it won’t happen because the kids know that would never fly.</p>
<p>I see some McMansions with just one or two parents living in them. The dwellings are 4000 and more square feet. Why does anyone want to live in something that massive with just two people I can’t say. Even my folks have a 5 bedroom, 2 bath home that they rattle around in and fill with STUFF. They were happy when their kids lived with them. </p>
<p>When homes are huge and there are spare bedrooms, I see bunking in rather than setting up a separate home as an economical choice, especially as it allows a lot of mutual benefit. The young person could even buy dnd rent out a place if that is desired. That’s what H did, since his folks really wanted his help and wanted him around and he got tired of all the driving. He worked full time, paid all the bills (largely with his salary), helped maintain everything, and whatever else was needed. It worked well for all of them. He didn’t enjoy living in his 3-bedroom townhouse alone anyway and his folks needed his financial help.</p>
<p>I don’t know many/any kids that have graduated college who aren’t dealing with physical and or mental health challenges & are living with their parents.</p>
<p>I can see the attraction. Living in a room that is very familiar, probably don’t even have to share a bathroom and have mom & dad around for snack & a shoulder?</p>
<p>We are still a nation of independent individualists however, and kids are much more likely to share space with their peers to save money rather than move back to their childhood bedroom. True they may not pay off debt as fast as those living with their parents, but there may be other things than money at stake.</p>