<p>I know some have mentioned this, but in some cultures it is normal, and some times expected, for children to stay with there parents. On a different thread a poster said that in HI it is the norm to children to stay with their parents until marriage. For many Asian, Middle Eastern, and immigrant cultures in general, large families are a common part of life, and in their respective countries you can have three generations in the same house. As America becomes more diverse this will become a more common phenomenon. I personally know multiple college grads, with well paying jobs btw, that stay at home. It is convenient, cost-efficient, and it allows them to reconnect with there parents. Most college bound kids are leaving after a troublesome slew of teenage years, after maturing and being separated for such a long time parents and children often form stronger bonds. (Mind you this IS anecdotal, but I’m sure that others will agree with this trend).
Minor point, what kid wouldn’t jump at the chance to have their food cooked, and their laundry done? And as a parent wouldn’t you appreciate an easing of the financial burden, not to mention the emotional burden, of an empty nest?
As a college bound freshman myself, I can say I’m glad to fly the coop, but it is comforting knowing I can always ‘fly’ home if disaster strikes. The safety net that is our parents is something the Millennials will appreciate more than earlier generations IMO; unlike those before us it is more acceptable, and our parents are more stable than previous generations. </p>
<p>As a side note, I think this safety net is a double edged sword, it allows some of us to be more ambitious, and aim higher, while it causes others to remain either lazy, or perpetual dreamers. Many have alluded to the Mellenials constant search for ‘something’ that is lacking form their lives, or their continued pursuit of some vague dream as if life was a perfect movie. Do the parents on this forum feel their kids are losing touch with reality, and living ‘with their head in the clouds’ per say?</p>
<p>There’s no doubt that there is no right or wrong answer to this issue. A lot depends on what part of the country you are talking about. Starting salaries have not quite caught up to the cost of living in some parts of the country. Many recent grads are forced to pay high rents or to live in shared apts with strangers with a still pretty high monthly rental cost. Our son graduated this past May without a job. He was told that we weren’t funding a job search in another city so he would have to return home. We live in the NYC metro area so their are ample opportunities for jobs right here at home. He landed a job with a good starting salary within 5 weeks of graduation. We all decided it was in his best financial interest to live at home and establish credit and save some money. It made no sense for him to spend $1400+ for a studio apt or $1000+ for a shared apt. He would rather live at home, save money for deposits, down payments, furniture and other essentials necessary when a person gets their own place. Some parents choose to fund these expenses out of the gate and others choose to put a roof over their young adult’s head for a year or two while they save to do it themselves. It really is something best left up to all parties involved to decide and I don’t think one is a better solution than the other. My son is free to come and go, we just ask that he be respectful of everyone living in the house with him. I would expect the same of him if he were living with room mates. He will begin to pay us a modest rent to cover his living expenses while here. The rest we will put in an account for him and give it to him when he moves out, although he has no knowledge of that. We are not looking to make any money on him but we feel he needs to pay his fair share so he no longer feels dependent on us for all of his needs. I don’t think this arrangement is detrimental to him from an emotional or personal freedom standpoint as one poster suggested may be the case when a son or daughter returns home to live. I think that may be true for a kid who slumps on the couch all day refusing to grow up and look for a job and spends his time wishing he was back at school. In this part of the country the cost of living is so high that many recent grads are cash poor and eventually return home anyway because they are saving nothing.</p>
<p>But what I think may have changed is both the parental and offspring’s expectations about what is an acceptable way to start out their lives as adults, ie. that they should have a nice car, have saved for a house downpayment by age 26, should not have to live with “strangers” (as some of you call their prospective roommates), versus driving an older junker or taking public transportation, taking a longer while to save up for a house down payment, and perhaps sharing a tiny apt with another young person/stranger for a few years.</p>
<p>Factors contributing to this (as I see them): 1) We have brainwashed a whole generation into believing that everyone has to have a 4 year college degree. It makes young adults think that “blue collar” is a dirty word. They would rather dress nicely & make minimum wage selling cell phone accessories in the midway of the local mall, than be a Lathe Operator making $20 per hour 2) Much more costly to live independently because of what is considered to be “necessities” in today’s culture, cell phone with internet access, internet, cable TV…not to mention Starbucks, etc. things that were not available to us. The first year that my father ever made $10,000 was 1976 (about $45,000 today), mom didn’t work, but they were able to provide a middle class standard of living, by not having a whole lot to spend their $ on. 3) The population of rural areas (where it is less expensive to live) is at an all time low</p>
<p>Csdad, I agree with you but with reservations. That $20/ hour job has been massively outsourced. Just for example I pulled up GMs job listings -they’ve been on the news lately for their rebound - most of the jobs listed were management and high tech/engineering jobs. (including the intriguing “cyber-incident handler” job) Not one line manufacturing type.
Having a car is more expensive today and required in most areas of the country if you have a job. A brand new Toyota cost $4700 in 1976 (I have the receipt somewhere)… Manual transmission, no safety equipment other than seat belts, etc…so with some costs you aren’t looking at equivalent products because they no longer exist.<br>
Rural areas are lots cheaper to live in because there are NO JOBS there. Big farming squeezed out most farmers and the communities that supported them. Eco-farming is bringing that back but only within that magic circle considered “loco-vore” to an affluent city. Seattle will buy Yakima corn, but not Iowa.<br>
But yes, I think most of what you said is very true.</p>