<p>I was a boomerang kid before it was fashionable. My first job out of college was an unmitigated nightmare, so I moved back home to attend graduate school, regroup and lick my wounds. For the first six months, I was so glad to be out of the situation I was in that I didn’t care where I was. After that, living with my parents, who have always considered us their “adult children” was difficult. I didn’t pay rent but paid all my personal expenses and school expenses my graduate assistantship didn’t cover. Things were a lot less difficult once I finished grad school and got a job, and I was also engaged to be married so I just stayed at home until after the wedding. Moving back home, even to a nice suburban one with all the amenities, is no picnic for the kids, either. Sometimes I think we forget that.</p>
<p>Once again, statistics are manipulated to produce a sensational headline and everyone just eats it up.</p>
<p>You start with this:
</p>
<p>Doesn’t that seem a little high to you? Like, “too high”… more than 1/3 of a very wide age group. Gives you the impression that 1/3 of 30 year olds are living with their parents. Not even close!</p>
<p>The actual study gives a breakdown; all millenials is 36%,</p>
<p>but… 18 -24 year olds (hint: College age kids) is 56%, while</p>
<p>25 -31 year olds is only 16%… 16% is a lot lower than 1/3 isn’t it.</p>
<p>And here is the kicker:
<a href=“In%20the%20census%20data%20used%20for%20this%20analysis,%20college%20students%20who%20live%20in%20dormitories%20during%20the%20academic%20year%20are%20counted%20as%20living%20with%20their%20parents”>quote</a>.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>So give me a break please! I think I should be concerned if growing numbers of 30 year olds are living with their parents. Let me know if that is happening. But don’t lump in college students living in dorms in your total numbers and make it look like it is a growing problem. /rantoff</p>
<p>Then they list reasons for the rise in young folk living with their parents, which really makes me laugh!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Well, duh! If you define students living in college dorms as living with their parents, then increasing college enrollment is going to result in an increase in young people living with their parents… when they actually are not.</p>
<p>I’m a 23-year-old recent college graduate. I have a full time job which pays well enough for me to comfortably live on my own. </p>
<p>I see no reason to move out of my parents’ house. I’m saving a lot of money on by living with my parents. I’m able to contribute more money to my 401(k) and IRA as well as save up money for a down payment on a home. It’s simply more practical to live at home rather than on my own right now.</p>
<p>NJres, thank you. Until recently, I actually worked for the Census Bureau on the Current Population Survey from which this data was drawn. CPS is primarily oriented towards determining employment status, and like all Census surveys, there are rules about residence that are aimed at avoiding counting people in two places. The article on the Pew website makes all this clear, but as you correctly point out, someone thought it would make a flashier headline if they left out all of those inconvenient facts.</p>
<p>My brother (18) and I (almost 20) are living at home with our parents. I am working to a Bachelors degree in elementary education in and online university. My brother just graduated high school and is going to a community college 2 days a week and taking a few online classes. My parents are making us pay them $115 each month for groceries, internet, and other things. My brother and I were pushed to get a job but I was never able to find one, so now I have to volunteer places. They require us to keep our bedrooms clean, do our own laundry, and help with cooking, cleaning, and yard-work. We cannot be on the computer all day and We have to volunteer and work. I actually like it better because when I was in a dorm a year ago, I had to pay 550 a month and because I have Asperger’s syndrome, it was very hard for me to get used to everything. And we pay for our own schooling.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That’s all good but I am sort of wondering what’s in this situation for your parents (beyond the pleasure of you company, of course 
). Do you pay any rent or provide a substantial amount of assistance around the house? I really think that it’s essential for post-college young adults to make serious contributions to the household if they are to live “at home”. It doesn’t really matter if the parents need the financial contribution; it’s more important for the post grad to develop a sense of responsibility as well as their own self respect.</p>
<p>Frankly, I always wonder whether any of these young people who live at home by choice for years want to have a sex life. I can telling you that living with MY parents definitely made that a virtual impossibility. :)</p>
<p>^^
Well, the more incentive for them to be truly independent, the better.</p>
<p>After a year abroad with a teaching job, D '12 is back living at home. It seems reasonable because she wants to live in our town, and no regular people can afford to move to our town now. If I didn’t let her live at home, I’d be banishing her from our city. She has a job, but not a good one, and I do kind of wish she were on her own to figure it all out. But honestly,the practicalities around here just don’t allow it. I’m a veteran professional and I couldn’t afford to live here if I didn’t already own! I feel as a parent I owe it to her, as a member of her generation, to help out on the housing front when it is simply no longer affordable for young people. Honestly, one bedrooms are $3000 a month! I will start charging (reasonable) rent soon, though.</p>
<p>All the young grads we know are either living with their parents or living elsewhere.</p>
<p>doughmom, even in NYC people can find a room in a shared apt for a lot less than $3K per month! I’m wondering where you live! :)</p>
<p>I have some good friends owns a 4 story brownstone in Bklyn Heights,. Both of their kids graduated college, are working and each have their own apt in the family home where the rent they pay could not rent them a room in their neighborhood. </p>
<p>They see each other in passing and all live separate lives. They feel that it is a win-win for everyone and her kids have no intentions of leaving to pay market rent until they can purchase something of their own.</p>
<p>My husband and I both lived at our parents’ homes as young adults, and we see nothing wrong if after college graduation our kids would like to live with us to save money etc. Both my husband and I have fond memories of all the fun we had during that time period (separately as we hadn’t met yet) when I traveled the world during my vacations, and my husband got his pilot license and played. We both paid rent to our folks, chipped in with household duties, and NEVER got any money from our folks. When we finally met and married we were more than ready financially and emotionally for the next chapter in our lives. </p>
<p>What I HATE seeing is how many of my nieces and nephews are on their “own” but are really supported by their parents. One niece is married with a house but expect her parents to buy her furniture, appliances etc. when she needs/wants them. Another had her folks put down the downpayment on her townhouse and help with payments. This bothers me much more than letting young adults 18-25 (or even a little older) live in the family home.</p>
<p>I know of several cases where the adult child lived at home a bit too long. They grew to be relied upon so much by their aging parents that they never got around to leaving. Although they dated and had long-term relationships, they couldn’t break completely away from home enough to get married. Granted, the co-dependency didn’t develop only because of the housing arrangement, but the housing arrangement facilitated it IMO. Until I saw it happen, I thought that problem was mostly a TV sitcom stereotype, a la George Costanza. </p>
<p>No doubt having adult kids living at home can sometimes benefit everyone involved. But I wonder if that is more the exception than the rule? The young people I know who’ve done it seem to have paid a high price in personal freedom and emotional growth, in exchange for a healthier savings account. I chose to avoid all the psychological strings attached to such an arrangement and moved out after college graduation.</p>
<p>But I agree with kjcphmom that a fake financial independence such as she describes is probably worse.</p>
<p>What would those if you who want kids out as soon as they turn 18 or graduate college do if your kids want to remain in your area, where housing prices are very high and wages very low? That is the situation of many in our city, so they have fewer options and only a few can purchase something. If they can’t find affordable housing and decent wage jobs, they may move out of the area for good. That option would really sadden me, though it happens a lot in Honolulu and even more on neighbor islands.</p>
<p>I agree, about helping and “pseudo” independence. A little help is okay, but whether the parents are wealthy or not so wealthy, I hear a lot about down payments on homes, 2 months rent for apartments, buying furniture (new and used) for kids place, paying for taxes because they can only buy food, etc. I have a coworker that pays quite a bit to help her daughter stay in a better area in a gritty city where she works…all is okay if it’s what you want to do but don’t say your child is fully independent, it’s just that they are out of the house. One doctor I know bragged about his son living “on his own” in Colorado to another father who’s son is living home and working…forgot to tell him it’s a family members place, big discount in rent, he sends him money, I hear the grumbles. I don’t think in this economy, we have to lie.<br>
I know one recent story, a woman felt pressured by friends and family to have her nice son move out, he was 25, “it was time”, he had a job, helped him buy a condo, a year later he got a job out of state, a very good job, but had to rent the condo (always had issues) and is trying to sell it now. Part of him regrets buying and giving in to something someone else thought was good for him. He signed (with her help of down payment) but if he didn’t have that, he would have rented.
Maybe not the best example of “helping” not always a good thing but best intentions are not always sensible.</p>
<p>There’s no doubt in my mind that in this economy a lot of new graduates are going to need some assistance “getting launched” so to speak. I don’t think it is any better or worse to allow the child to live in your home versus providing financial support for them to live outside your home. I do think it is very dependent on the child which is the better option. It seems to me that the better option is whichever choice allows them to grow up and get on their own two feet the fastest - - and that’s definitely variable based on the family dynamic, the child’s personality, the geographic issues, etc. But I do think it is a little easier to withdraw the support if the child is outside the home. I could never kick my child out of my own house if he wasn’t meeting my expectations in terms of work, contribution to the household etc. I know this about myself, and I bet my child would figure it out really quickly! So I think personally I’d prefer to provide the financial help only, if necessary. Of course a lot could change in four years too . . .</p>
<p>Most everyone I know has helped their new grads financially (most who have settled in either NYC or SF) but it’s not like the kids are living in the lap of luxury - far from it. </p>
<p>My parents helped me when I moved to NYC after college and they also helped my sister and her H and my husband and me with down payments for our first homes (which we paid back over time) and I hope when the time comes we can help our kid if he needs it.</p>
<p>It is so dependent on the economics and housing prices of a particular place.</p>
<p>The county I live in is one of the wealthiest in the nation. This means we have generally large single family houses, expensive townhouses, expensive condos, and few (all very expensive) rentals. It is not possible to live here on a single teacher’s, police officer’s (all of whom are now hired with bachelors degrees), or other entry level salaries. </p>
<p>I see many, many young college graduates living at home. None are permanently back home. Thise I know are either employed, looking for employment, waiting for a job to begin (teachers) or living at home while in grad school. (Many, many fine universities within commuting distance of this county.)</p>
<p>Years ago I would have stated that I did NOT expect any of my kids to bounce bacl, but reality is a teacher.</p>
<p>My oldest just graduated. He is home for the summer, moving in with two buddies close to a metro line next week when he starts a one year stint at a nonprofit in the city. After that he’ll most likely bounce back home to commute to grad school. It makes sense and is fine with us.</p>
<p>I’ll probably get flamed for this but our 25-yr old college grad has lived with us for the past 3 years. He is fully employed in his field at a well-regarded consulting firm. We charge him a subsidized monthly rent that basically covers his food. We also live in a very high cost area - living with us is allowing him to save up for his own house/condo down payment. He owns his own car, pays his own insurances & cell phone, so apart from housing he is off the family payroll. </p>
<p>He is starting grad school in 2 weeks, working FT & going to class in the evenings, and he is paying for grad school himself (529 + employer contribution, no loans). Our contribution toward his graduate education will be housing. My family & DH’s family supported us with housing when we went to grad school; we’re just paying it forward. DS thinks he may move out & get housing closer to the school once the dust settles & he sees how the work/school combination is working out. (I had to chuckle when he told me that DH & I stay up “too late” for him. 
Oh, how things have changed from those late night undergrad days!)</p>
<p>
In fairness, maybe it’s not all the nieces and nephews’ choice. The 18 months I lived out of state for my first job, my parents paid my apartment and utility deposits, bought me some furniture, gave me hand-me-down items to furnish my apartment and my dad, not I, decided that I needed a new car and he bought it for me. Friends told me I wasn’t making the break from my parents but I couldn’t have stopped them if I tried. My dad, God rest his soul, had major issues with letting go and that was his way of still being the dad and being needed. He eased up somewhat when I married - to his way of thinking, I now had a husband to take care of me and he respected that (up to a point.) I’m grateful for everything they did for me, but I might have developed a little more confidence and independence if I’d been left to figure some things out on my own.</p>