So I lived in the city from the time I was born all the way through 8th grade, and my parents decided that wasn’t good enough and they moved us to the suburbs because “the school is better”(it’s not) anyways when I first started up freshman year I was like wow everyone here sucks. It’s just so many redneck people and snobby kids and everyone here is scared to go into the city because it’s too “dangerous” there’s nothing to do in the suburbs and I’m tired of all these annoying kids. I thought it’d get better but I’m now going into junior year. I just don’t understand why everyone here thinks that they’re all cool and everything yet they can’t even handle going into the city without being scared. It’s just hard to find people like me out here but I’ll survive 2 more years. Have any of y’all had problems like this?
Tbh, it’s so hard to make plans in the suburb because the nearest mall, movie theater, or corner stores are 10-15 minutes away. Luckily where I live there is my town (the suburb) and then right next to it is a city-like town with and so we usually go there to hang out.
I wish I lived in the city state, maybe like Massachusetts or New York…
You’re not going to get a lot of answers because this reads as "poor me, I’m a spoiled upper middle class kid who doesn’t know how good she/he has it compared to kids who live in rural areas, in the inner city, in areas where schools budgets have been cut to the point they have class during daylight to avoid electricity costs…
Sure, suburbs have problems. A big one for instance is lack of public transportation that keeps young people stuck in specific areas.
But if you see a problem, do something about it,. Organize around it, try to fix it.
A rant on college confidential is not the way to go about it.
I cannot imagine why the other kids aren’t flocking to you…Geez. Redneck and snobby? How about entitled and pretentious?
We live in the suburbs of NYC. My kids, like me, have grown up on Long Island, 45 minutes by train from NYC.
And, no, they’re not “afraid” to go to the city. My 18 year old went in with a bunch of friends to see the tree at Christmas, to go to the Copa after the prom, and occasionally to celebrate someone’s birthday or whatever.
The mall is 3 minutes away. It has a food court, an arcade/bowling alley/karoake place and a movie theater.
But her life is here. Her friends are here. Her job is here. When she got off work at midnight last night, she did NOT take the LIRR Into NYC. Instead, she went out for Half Apps at Applebees with friends. When she went to the beach the other day, she chose a local south shore beach instead of NYC. And when she and her sunburnt cousin hung out the other day, they went to the Tanger outlets instead of NYC.
There’s a lot to do around here. The trick is not turning down your nose at the options and finding out what there is to do.
I don’t think your issue is the suburbs. I think it’s being the “new kid” at age 16, and not being sure you’ll find the friends you want to find. And summer makes that so hard!
How about this: get a summer job. You’ll make some money, and you’ll be in contact with kids your own age over the summer. Don’t assume that everyone not born within the city limits is a stuck up redneck; give them the same chance you’re wishing they would give you.
Then, in the fall, choose some activities at your school and become involved.
Sometimes, when we’re unhappy and blaming everyone else, the problem isn’t them. The only person you can change is you. It sounds like you went there determined not to like it so it’s no surprise that you didn’t. Are you sure other kids don’t want to go to the city, or is it that they’d prefer to go there with someone who doesn’t think they’re “redneck, snobby, and annoying”? Do they have the time and money to go to the city? Cities are expensive and not everyone can afford to go whenever they want.
If you’re bored, you could get a job. Or you could spend some time volunteering. If you learn to appreciate what you do have, maybe you’ll be less judgmental of the people around you. Don’t underestimate what a positive attitude can do for you. The teachers who will be writing your college recommendations will respond better to that than to someone who is dissatisfied with everything and everyone around them.
Yes, when I meet newcomers to Maine, I can guess in almost every case if he or she is going to last long. The ones with positive attitudes DO. The ones who complain or compare the state to their previous home don’t.
@MYOS1634 Actually, the suburb where I live is relatively poor compared to cities and only a few families are part of upper middle class. The houses are really inexpensive here.
^ do you live in an exurb or an industrial periphery town?
A suburb is a planned community close to a city but far enough that most/all housing is made of single family homes and plenty of green space. It was designed at any point after WW2 (and the invention of Lewittown) with cul de sacs, modelized houses, zoning ordinances and owners’ rules about the grass, the siding colors, etc, share sports areas, rely mostly on cars for transportation. The original suburbs were working class and segregated but they quickly evolved into middle and upper middle class areas located away from but within reach of cities (before cities became cool). I’m sure there are still working class suburbs of course.
Periphery towns usually date from the early 20th century or even earlier, and were built around plants and industries that used to hire most men living there. They are on the periphery of a city and tend to have less green safe; there’s little modelized design because they grew before the Lewittown system of planning.
Exurbs are one circle after the suburbs. They’re like suburbs, relying on cars and without a real center or history, but less planned, less rich, further away from the city and workplaces. They tend to be working class or middle class.
Appreciate difference.
Wow. Where’s the empathy? Here’s a kid who is asking for help and he/she gets labelled “entitled,” “privileged,” and “pretentious.”
@ChezCurie Because that is how he comes across. Coddling such attitudes will only allow him to continue his pity party.
@TomSrOfBoston, Please remember, these are kids. While I agree, there’s no need to “coddle,” there’s also no need to mock or belittle.
I live close to a subway line but far enough away to need a ride or take a bus to get to the subway. Public transportation from the house to the subway isn’t necessarily convenient nor is a ride etc. Sure there are times kids go into the city since it is only a 15minute commute (though it depends where your going) and some kids look for jobs there. However some kids enjoy local activities or activities away from the city. Without going into the city there are places like Muse Paint Bar, bowling, movie theaters, outdoor mall area, indoor mall, Boda Borg, lots of restaurants, escape the rooms, rollerskating, ice skating etc. Some parents may lend their cars but not want the kids driving into the city. There is a local teen center. Basically the city is there and people use it but also enjoy local places and activities. Some people may prefer to go to a beach then the city etc.
Basically I suggest trying to do some of the stuff people do who don’t want to go into the city. You may find that while you enjoy the city life you can also enjoy suburban life. I can tell you I have two daughters. One things nothing of going into the city whereas the other one is like big buildings, crowds no thanks. It has nothing do to with snobbery. My husband if from midtown Manhattan and she reluctantly goes there to see family whereas my other daughter is like please can we go spend forever and a day at Times Square. She does go to some things in the city but it certainly isn’t her priority. Even if there is nothing to do simply hanging out is a normal teen activity.
Yes, I have. It stinks getting moved and not having control over it. It stinks missing all your old friends and your old way of life. But you are stuck where you are for the next 2 years until you go to college and can establish your own life. Once you to college you can start making decisions for your own life.
So the question is, how do you want to live the next 2 years of your life? Sounds like you wish you had some friends, and that you wish you had something to do. Read up on how to make friends. Really, it sounds stupid, but do it. One of the first things you’ll see is that people sense if people don’t like them, and look down on them. I’m pretty sure your classmates pick up on a vibe coming from you that you think they are “rednecks” and “snobs”. The first step you will take in making friends is stop seeing them like that and start seeing them as people who have worth and have something to offer you. You might just not see what it is yet, and that’s part of the discovery process. And like others have said, try to do something this summer, whether it’s a job, volunteer work, or helping someone out like mowing an elderly neighbor’s or working single mother’s lawn. You have no idea how much something simple like this can really help someone, and what a difference you can make in someone’s life who may otherwise be overwhelmed.
You could read the graphic novel The plain Janes. The main character is in our predicament.
But always look for the solution - if there’s a problemw define it and find friends with whom to fix it.
I live in an exurb of Buffalo. It kinda sucks if you don’t have a car, and I did have to rely on my parents for driving. But all my friends are in the same predicament, so it doesn’t really matter.
BTW, not all suburbs are exclusive enclaves. We have the Mcmansion, six-figure suburbs near me, but some of the suburbs are lower middle class inner ring areas that are declining.
I was in a very similar situation several years ago. My parents moved us to a small suburban town with a good school. It was really hard to leave behind my childhood friends, and while I adapted pretty well I certainly missed the sense of worldliness I had felt in the city. Unlike you, our move was at the beginning of middle school, so I did middle school in the suburbs and begged my parents to let me leave for high school. I applied out and chose to attend a school an hour from my house, commuting into the city every day. I am grateful that my parents listened to me, but honestly even if they hadn’t, I would have been fine, which is why I am now telling you that you will be fine. When I was in 8th grade, I worried that I was missing out on experiences (socially and academically) that my friends that I’d left behind were getting. The truth is that growing up in a city isn’t always fun or easy. I had idealized it in my time away, and going back I realized some major downsides. Taking the subway every day made me all the more appreciative of the green lawn I returned to at home. Cities are dirty, loud, and often require children to grow up quickly, and honestly as much as I love my city, I don’t think I would raise children in it. Furthermore, I missed my friends from home, and while they were having fun with game days and house parties I found myself wandering downtown streets in search of a party or place to grab dinner. I missed playing sports seriously, and I missed going to a big school with a football team. Appreciate these things while you have them because high school is not forever. Your parents did you a service by bringing you to a better school. You may not appreciate this now, but if you had stayed in the city your chances at college admissions would have been significantly worse (I would know, seeing as I am now applying to college and facing this). American cities are chock-full of overqualified students, and schools looking to balance the number of kids coming from each city are forced to turn down lots of smart students. You should focus on working hard in high school and in giving yourself the opportunity to choose what kind of college you want. College is when almost every kid gets to finally choose where they’re living and what they’re doing, so my advice is to use that opportunity. Get excited about being able to move away and take classes that interest you once you get to college. Work hard and get good grades so that you have more options about where you go. Its not easy to move, especially when its a place that is different from where you grew up, but you are stronger and a better person because of this, and years from now you will realize this. Reach out if you need help dealing with this, I’ve got a lot of experience with it.
It all depends on your area. Everyone is different, but for me, I’m surrounded mostly by middle class people. A couple of people may be poor here and there, but overall, my town is basically a “drive through” town with less than 1,000 people. There’s no traffic lights and we only have a small Italian take out/delivery place, an auto body shop, a fire station, and a few other buildings, which is pretty normal for a “drive through” town. I also live in a townhouse plan which is apart of the town itself.
The nearest grocery store, restaurant, and gas station is only about 5-10 minutes away from us, which is not bad at all considering that other people have to travel farther than us.
Overall, moving to a new area isn’t easy for everyone. It takes some time to adjust, but for now, you’ll just have to deal with it.
Well I will be the one that sides with this kid. I live in a middle class area in Chicago and work in a middle class area in the suburbs. There is no question a difference in the level of maturity, self confidence and attitude that a city kid has compared to a suburban kid. The suburban parents also agree with me on this. The not going into the city unfortunately comes from the parents. If of course the city is truly not safe, I understand. Suburban kids think they are entitled to a car once they turn 16. My 19 and 21 year old take public transportation everywhere. We can go to New York city and they are fine getting around the city etc.(even when they were much younger) Suburban kids say they are from Chicago even when they live like 45 minutes away… Lol… When my suburban friends or my niece/family comes from out of town the first thing they want to do is go to the mall(there aren’t any) . They are usually amazed about all the stores we have just a few blocks away that tend to go on forever. They love to explore the different neighborhoods also. There is also so much to do whether going to the beach or exploring museums, plays, concerts… Many with student discounts. Also everything you want /need is a block or two away. So I really do understand where he is coming from… But it’s been two years so something bigger is at play here. Maybe talking to your parents /teacher/school social worker etc about how best to fit in. Becoming more involved with school clubs and activities will force you to get to know your classmates better. My kids both have friends from the suburbs and get along just fine. When you go to college most of the people you meet will be from the suburbs so you might as well get used to it now. Those rednecks and elitists will be your roommates. It’s a shame you have not made the adjustment yet but sometimes in life you have to be the one that changes. You have a few more weeks before school starts again (omg… Really)… I bet if you enter your junior year with a different attitude you will see things changing for the better.
Please don’t come down hard on my views. I didn’t say it’s better either way but there really is a difference.