There are plenty of affordable flagship schools in other areas of the country. In the south, she can look at Ole Miss, Miss State, the directional Florida schools (U West Florida, South Florida, North Florida, FIU and FAU). Most have big sports, Greek life, solid programs in all areas. If she wants to go colder, Montana, Utah, N and S Dakota, Wyoming all have lower priced programs, most sports from big time football to hockey.
The Dakotas have some really cheap options.
They’re probably the cheapest OOS publics around.
In terms of sports, UND (North Dakota) is a hockey powerhouse and NDSU is a FCS football powerhouse, but COA of $26K is close to UMinny’s OOS costs.
The SDakota schools are even cheaper. SDSU costs vary by major, but around $17K, give or take. USD is about the same.
Also, she should check out National Student Exchange (Google it), which would allow her to study at other schools even if she goes to TCNJ or Rutgers.
My daughter is interested in very specialized fields that none of our state schools offer (Alaska—the offerings are quite limited up here), so we’ve been looking at schools in the lower 48. We’ve found four state flagships that both offer her fields of interest (i.e., we haven’t done nearly a comprehensive survey) and either offer low-ish out-of-state tuition or have scholarships directed specifically at bringing down the cost for out-of-state students that aren’t targeted at nearly-4.0+2400 students: Wyoming, Ohio State, Minnesota, and Kansas. (Ohio University and Bowling Green State University, as well, as public non-flagships.)
(If you are interested in stuff we offer up here, though, Alaska has quite low out-of-state tuition, too.)
Thanks! Twoinanddone, the FL schools are definitely on our list to look at, yes, many of those have comparable OOS, dfbdfb, thanks for the feedback – husband and I are from OH and I know she would love OSU and OU (my alma mater!) but when I use their NPC, they only list $5,000 as our aid package. Maybe worth a call to the fin aid depts to inquire further? Thx!
Most state schools would offer poor fin aid to OOS students. Keep that in mind. In fact, most schools outside the elites offer poor fin aid in general.
post #21 - mentions SDSU (south dakota state) – we know a few kids from our midwestern state who attend there OOS, and LOVE it!
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Many here have suggested SUNY SB, UB and Albany for OP. As an NJ resident, I think it may be easier to get in. Anyone with experience with a 3.5/3.6 kid who attended those schools and found the school to be on par with their own academic background? (I realize there are many variables here - just trying to get a general sense. Large state schools are not known for hand-holding their students, and am wondering about academic fit for OP’s kid and others with similar stats.)
This is an excellent point mathprof63, I notice a distinct difference between the small private schools we have visited and the large public ones in terms of support and acclimation. While our d has a strong independent spirit, I definitely don’t want her to “get in over her head” so the academic fit is very important! There are so many variables as you say that go into this - I’m so glad this site helps outline some of it and give you lots of great input!
OP just beware that activities and social scene come at a cost, and if she is not a super strong student already, may be a recipe for disaster. $10,000 to $12,000 won’t even cover meals and housing. Look at affordable options based on current stats. Since you haven’t posted twin brother’s stats, he may have very lofty ideas of where he will have merit $$ and what will be affordable. Mom2ck asks some very relevant questions.
Any schools with WUE discounts with her major?
@ucbalumnus—no. 
(Oregon and Washington each have both of her intended possibilities, but they don’t play along nicely.)
Wyoming is a WUE school, but does limit the number of WUE scholarships (which might be a much bigger deal if you are trying to get a WUE scholarship if you live in Colorado than if you are coming from Alaska). However, the Rocky Mtn Scholarship for OOS students just changed for this coming year, and the top award is the same as the WUE, 150% of instate tuition.
My daughter is at Wyoming and I have nothing but good things to say about it. The kids are nice, the admin is nice, everyone is included, most activities are free, and there really isn’t anywhere to spend money in Laramie (first run movies are $7). My daughter is in theater, but knows a lot of engineers and they have a great deal, lots of scholarships, nice buildings, no problems getting classes.
@twoinanddone: True—Wyoming has fallen off the list for other reasons, and so I’d forgotten about it.
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husband and I are from OH and I know she would love OSU and OU (my alma mater!) but when I use their NPC, they only list $5,000 as our aid package. Maybe worth a call to the fin aid depts to inquire further? Thx!
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I wouldn’t bother. You’re OOS. Any aid given would be strictly merit and your D’s stats won’t likely get merit unless her test scores really jump…to at least what her brother’s is.
It doesnt’ matter that you have “need” at these OOS schools. They charge high rates because you don’t pay taxes there. They wouldn’t bother to charge those rates if they were going to have reach into their small resources and cover OOS need. Right??
Did you see my mention about Alabama’s big merit for your son and ChemE?
I don’t know what your goal is for your twins. Is the goal for them to have a rather equal college experience, even tho their stats are wildly different? If so, then your strategy may need to look like this: You may need to look for MAX merit for your son so your remaining costs are low enough that you can spend more on D’s costs. If you can get your son’s costs down to - say - $5k, then you could afford your D’s school’s costs at more schools.
Look at all the SUNY Schools.
Thanks bopper, SUNY schools are definitely something we want to look into. mom2collegekids, thanks for the advice about the state schools, we definitely realize that it’s not the best financial option. And thanks for the info about Alabama. Son is very focused on the Northeast, I don’t think I could convince him to go any further south than Philly, he definitely sees his future here. You are correct that we are hoping to maximize both of their experiences with the hope being that he gets significant merit aid and what resources we have can go towards her school. Ideally, I’d like to see her here in NJ at a state school, I’m well aware it is likely to be our best financial option. Hopefully, she will realize it too! 
Just want to make sure we’ve explored all of the possibilities out there and given both of them the best options we can. Thanks everyone!
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Son is very focused on the Northeast, I don’t think I could convince him to go any further south than Philly, he definitely sees his future here. Y
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Here’s the problem…
The NE is not a good hunting ground for the kind of merit that YOU need for an eng’g major… Sure you might find $15k off of a private, but that won’t get the cost down, which is what you need.
Encourage your son to keep an open mind for his education…he can always work where he wants. At a minimum insist on a couple “parent picks” that you know FOR SURE will provide huge merit (at least full tuition).
Don’t forget that merit gets applied FIRST. You will NOT be given a need-based grant, and then be given a merit scholarship that will cover some of your EFC.
“The NE is not a good hunting ground for the kind of merit that YOU need for an eng’g major.”
Well, there’s Pitt. Also UMD. Also Stevens. I’m not sure the son’s stats are good enough for the full-ride/full-tuition scholarships at those places, though.
Oh, there’re also Rutgers and NJIT.
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Well, there’s Pitt. Also UMD. Also Stevens. I’m not sure the son’s stats are good enough for the full-ride/full-tuition scholarships at those places, though.
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That’s the problem. Sure if stats were higher, then maybe.
Also…these people needs some ASSURED HUGE merit. They’ll be stuck if all the big competitive awards go to someone else.
Howard University has very generous guaranteed merit scholarships, and your son would qualify for the Capstone Scholarship which includes tuition, fees, and room for applicants with SAT CR+M 1300-1390 and GPA > 3.25. I know Washington D.C. is a little below Philadelphia geographically, but maybe the generous scholarship would make it more appealing Plus if your son is interested in International Relations, there is no place better to be than Washington D.C. If he raises his SAT score by just 20 points (!) he would qualify for the Founders Scholarship which is tuition, fees, room, board, and a $500 book voucher. If your daughter can raise her SAT score by 200 points, she would qualify for the Legacy Scholarship, which covers tuition and fees. If she would enjoy a state school, I think she would like Howard (despite it being private) because they definitely have a lot of parties.
Temple University is also great for merit scholarships, and your son would qualify for the $18k scholarship with the $4k summer stipend.
If your daughter can raise her SAT score by 150 points, she would qualify for a 35-40% tuition scholarship at University of Alabama at Huntsville, which has a COA of $32k.