<p>Every educational institution, regardless of stature, placement or level, has the obligation to be nurturing- it needs to be a place of emotional safety. I can’t imagine sending your student to a place without it, there is little doubt that the educational experience is enhanced by inclusion and emotional safety, drama moreso than any other. Why would you send your S or D to a place without it??? Also we have a friend who is having the same experience at Purchase, he wants to leave but is torn because it was so difficult to get in. The ultimate question is “Why are you there” if it isn’t satisfying, rewarding or fun? I think this has more to do with the parents than the child.</p>
<p>sillymoms, I personally agree with you completely, but know that many BFA programs do not agree with you. I too did not want my children in a school that was set up to ‘break them down.’ This is good for some students, but definitely not mine. My children do not thrive in such an environment and my oldest was broken by it – and he permanently left acting (not in Purchase). What I’m saying is that if this is your value and your children’s value, make sure to do due diligence in selecting the programs. DO NOT go by reputation. Go by fit. I would NOT go by rumor on CC. (Knowing someone directly is different.) I would go out myself and have my son or daughter decide for themselves how the fit is after spending extensive time there, in classes, talking to students etc. I want to stress that Purchase is most certainly NOT the only school in which talented students drop out—I know several. Each time the reason can be different and only you can assess whether that reason has to do with the climate of the program and whether that would impact your son or daughter. In the case of my son, he himself was impacted very negatively by the ‘non-nurturing’ aspect of the program, but I know of other students who were not negatively impacted at all, and thrived. It’s very personal.</p>
<p>I’m just saying that I personally do not feel it should be a mandate that all colleges have to be nurturing. </p>
<p>What constitutes nurturing is pretty subjective anyway. I think there should be a balance. The acting biz can be stressful, actors have to develop a thick skin to survive. If a program is all about hand holding a student may not gain the tools they need to cope in the professional world. </p>
<p>I actually think my kid would thrive in a more emotionally intense learning environment.</p>
<p>I agree with Shacherry. There should be a balance. </p>
<p>We are fortunate that different kinds of programs exist to suit different sets of needs.</p>
<p>Students need to investigate very carefully. For example, my son was accepted to NYU; however, upon visiting and talking to a number of people he perceived a fierce urban intensity that he didn’t feel he could handle at that time. He ended up attending a program that impressed him as more nurturing. </p>
<p>For many others, NYU is absolutely perfect, and I’m sure that for many Purchase is an excellent fit as well.</p>
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<p>Good actor training is emotionally intense by its very nature. It involves personal exploration that demands a great deal of the students.</p>
<p>Freshmen in my son’s class used to leave class feeling temporarily shaken and drained after some of their learning exercises. The fact that the program as a whole was nurturing helped counteract the stress of this.</p>
<p>My daughter’s program is both intense and nurturing, I think the balance (at least for my kids) is important. All of one and none of the other would not work for us…</p>
<p>I agree with shacherry, NJtheatreMOM, and connections. Last year my daughter applied to a number of programs (she ruled out Purchase before applying) and among others was accepted to what many think is the top acting program in the US, a program she’d aspired to when she was younger, before she had spent time really looking at programs. She received a talent scholarship, so she felt it was important to investigate thoroughly. While her admissions audition and interview were friendly, she had a nagging sense, after visiting, that it was not going to be the right atmosphere for her. She was assigned to a studio that also did not feel right, in terms of curriculum and method (however; everyone she met when she visited was kind and friendly.) She was able to petition to be assigned to a different studio, and spent what I think my be an lengthy, for them, amount of time talking to the admissions director and simply touring and walking around the school. Her take was that while this might be a good place for grad school, it was not what she was looking for in an undergrad institution. </p>
<p>It think it’s important to follow your instincts. It’s also important to follow up by re-visiting and researching the institution before committing your tuition dollars. But also know that, regardless of diligent research, you may change and outgrow an institution you once thought was perfect. One of my other kids (not in theater) began her college career at a small school that felt absolutely perfect. After a year and a half, she realized that she was constrained and frustrated in her major. She transferred to a much larger program in the same discipline and is thriving there. Her high school mentor, an alum of the first school expressed regret for having steered her to School 1 in the first place (the school she transferred to happened to be the place where he did his grad work.) But she told him that School 1 was perfect for her when she started; she simply outgrew it because she changed. She would not have been ready for School 2 as a freshman. So her trajectory was perfect, for her, even if it is not what she had planned or expected from the start.</p>
<p>Anyway, the point of my post has also evolved at bit: even a well-researched choice and a great fit can sometimes begin to feel wrong after a few years-- that’s because students are dynamic beings who grow and mature. Make a mindful choice; pay attention to your gut, your heart. Do your research. You may need to make adjustments in the future-- I teach at a university where many of my best students turn out to have been transfers from other colleges.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone who posted—I dont’ see how a college should have a mandate to be ‘nurturing.’ However, I do think there are markedly different environments in different programs, and that everyone has their own personal preferences. That’s what I was saying. </p>
<p>KNow the environment, know what matters to you (as a student), know where you’re likely to thrive. Fit is far more important than reputation. That said, there are many mature students who are able to extract the good of the program no matter how ‘non-nurturing’ it is. This is what I mean–you just have to know where you thrive. This is VERY personal. To use an extreme example, my own kids would not thrive in a program that had cuts–the backstabbing that would inevitably occur would be miserable for them. But other students would thrive in that hyper competitive environment. There is no one right school.</p>
<p>I would strongly discourage people from basing decisions on rumors or innuendo on CC, and I would further discourage people from basing decisions on what ANOTHER student experienced. It’s like, say, choosing a doctor: I have been burnt many times when I based my decision on a doctor on the single recommendation of someone. What one person adores, another can despise. This is true for all sorts of things, and it is certainly true of an intensive, rigorous program. Again, the student should perform due diligence in determining what is important to him or her and where they’d grow the most. It’s impossible to gauge this entirely before you start, but it IS possible to get a strong sense.</p>
<p>By nurturing, I don’t mean professors should be holding the students’ hands and telling them they’re all wonderful. It’s more showing a real interest in each student as a person. Helping out if they’re going through a rough time. My son was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease his junior year, and professors and students couldn’t have been kinder.
Acting in particular requires an emotional connection with the other actors, and with an audience. I’m not sure that can happen as well if the program is intensely competitive.
Just to throw in something else on the issue of finding a fit - we noticed each class at my son’s school tended to have its own vibe. One class seemed to have a flair for comedy. Not only were many of the students very funny, they also seemed to have a stronger penchant for partying, which landed a couple of them in trouble. Another class seemed more competitive with each other, more intense. I’d say my son’s class was very cohesive. That’s the kind of thing you really can’t predict ahead of time, and can make a difference about whether the school feels right.</p>
<p>Education is not a big question mark, the “jury is not out” in terms of what is effective. For education to “work” inclusion must take place. That was the huge difference in the auditions. The ones from the west coast that we did- (Cornish, UCLA and CalArts) were nurturing. This idea that you need “to break someone down” or attend a bootcamp flies in the face of educational research and creates stress where students can grow. It isn’t about drama school it is about human development. Plenty of kids drop out but the intent, in ALL cases, in all schools, no matter what the subject or level, should be to create a trusting environment. Ridiculous to think otherwise</p>
<p>pennmom, it’s smart of you to define what we mean by ‘nurturing.’ I didn’t think of that, but probably everyone is thinking it means something different. My definition is like yours. </p>
<p>Let me give you a personal example. My own son was suffering from clinical depression and was beginning suicide ideation. When he came to class depressed, two professors openly mocked my son for being ‘stoned’ – literally mocked him in front of his whole first year acting class. One told him he 'might get more of this class if he didn’t do pot all the time." Then he laughed. Meanwhile, the girl next to him was sky-high on cocaine, but he was oblivious. NO ONE made any attempt whatsoever to find out what was really going on. Instead their reaction was to presume he was on drugs, do nothing, and mock him. Then the other classmates followed. In short order, my son was bullied for the first time since he was in 2nd grade by the nastier students who took their lead from the professors.</p>
<p>My definition of ‘nurturing’ is not hovering or babying, but in helping the student be the best he/she can be–being a positive force and not a destructive force. Some students learn best in a hyper competitive ‘breaking down’ environment, but my kids don’t. I believe you can hold the acting student to the highest standards and be nurturing in this way.</p>
<p>I also agree with sillymoms that the key word is “trust.” I think perhaps this is what I mean by ‘nurturing,’ so it’s good to define what we mean. I feel that if you dont’ feel emotionally safe then for many students, it is hard to impossible to learn effectively. A trusting environment is optimal for growth. HOWEVER that doesn’t rule out tougher environments to my mind.</p>
<p>I think ‘trust’ is more important to a student whose trust has been abused while growing up. A good proportion of students may come from abusive homes in which their trust is routinely violated; for such students, a school which continues to violate their trust is toxic and may cause a break down. But for other students, particularly those with solid egos and a supportive family, a competitive environment may spur them on, or they may nto care. Honestly everyone learns differently and thrives under different situations, and some people are so inner directed they can learn everywhere.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your story, Connections. What a painful time that must have been.</p>
<p>connections: that goes way beyond nurturing into criminally irresponsible (for professors to mock your son), that’s what I mean. No educational institution should present itself like that, and especially in something that requires taking extreme emotional risks, like performing. You will get SO MUCH MORE if you feel emotionally safe to take a risk. I just do not understand why anyone would send their child to a school that does not embrace and model this philosophy, it is a breeding ground for a long list of negative events.</p>
<p>Has Purchase started sending out rejections yet???</p>
<p>I’ve been following this thread and think this is a very interesting discussion. I believe that a “nurturing” environment (according to pennmom’s and connections’ definition) is the best, especially when it comes to acting. An actor has to be vulnerable pretty much all the time and that’s one of the hardest things to do. You can get deeply hurt very easily when you’re vulnerable, when you’re showing your inner monsters and inner strenghts. It’s so hard to put all of that out there and when it comes to learning how to do it, I’ve found that it requires a lot of trust on your colleagues and teachers.</p>
<p>I studied with a girl once that was doing a scene where she had to be in her underwear for a while. Some of the boys in the class whistled and laughed when she took her clothes off. That was “small”, but she completely lost her trust in the group and spent the rest of the semester feeling like an outsider and really uncomfortable.</p>
<p>I mentioned this a few times now, but when I was at the National Theater Institute I felt so free to do anything I wanted. The teachers took the time to care about the students as individuals, so much that the final evaluation consists of a 20 minute talk, where the student sits on a room with all the teachers and they each give their opinions (good AND bad) and the student can’t say anything and can’t write down anything (you have to be 100% present at that moment). That’s why it is so often very emotional. It is a place where people care about your art and care about what you have to say. They accept you for what you are and work with what makes you unique.</p>
<p>It is very easy to stop taking care of yourself in this profession. Besides the obvious pressure towards beauty, there’s always the constant competition and comparison to others, the lack of sleeping and eating well which usually occurs when the work is too intensive, the easy access to drugs and booze that are so popular among the “bon vivants” and countless other things. You really need to have your head on straight to make it through without falling on any of those traps, and honestly, I don’t know if I could ever make it if I didn’t have a net of supportive people that encourage me to be the best person, actor, artist I can.</p>
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<p>I am saddened by what happened to Connections’ son, but when an individual teacher is emotionally abusive, it doesn’t necessarily reflect the philosophy of the whole school. </p>
<p>There is a lot of variation among acting teachers. The harsher ones acquire a reputation that research can reveal. Some students benefit from the harshness. Those students are seeking discipline and rigor that might be comparable to what you hear about in top gymnastics coaches that train those little girls for the Olympics.</p>
<p>You have to know yourself. Purchase warns theatre student that their program is “acting boot camp.” Believe it or not, many thrive there.</p>
<p>This discussion reminds me of how critically important it is to visit schools before making a final decision, and really take time with that part. My son refused to do any visits until he knew where he was accepted, so I hope we’ve received all his admits and denials by spring break. Because of the low admission rates, I think he was quite right not to visit first!</p>
<p>Connections, I can only imagine how hard that must have been for your family. </p>
<p>We are doing like prodesse, waiting to see where the acceptances are before we visit. I am going to take a lot from this thread and look very carefully with my son. Thank you.</p>
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<p>Milkshakespeare, students like you can explain this sort of thing so much better than parents. Very helpful post. :)</p>
<p>creating inclusion requires a specific mindset and process it doesn’t happen spontaneously, a good program has good people teaching there who wouldn’t want it any other way</p>