<p>I need some CC support because Im in mommy meltdown. I am typically not this emotional but think D has selected Northeastern over Rice and Vanderbilt solely on Boston will be great and I can get out the South.</p>
<p>Please share your stories or offer advice on how you accepted and found the positives in your childs college choice. I know this is her decision but its hard right now.</p>
<p>OUCH - sorry for your stress!!! My D initially applied ED to Rice but was rejected - as it turned out, best thing b/c the whole family really wanted her out of her comfort zone and to go to one of her East coast choices. She also loves Boston and chose a school there she’s thrilled about (Wellesley).</p>
<p>Rice and Vandy are great schools though - it a tough one. I am not familiar with the academics at Northeastern but I have heard of it and know it is in Boston area. </p>
<p>I think if your D loves the idea of NE and will be happy there, it’s worth a lot. Too bad she didn’t apply to more schools in the Boston area - there are sooooooo many good ones!!!</p>
<p>I did not agree with any of my kid’s college choices. But I support them, just as I supported their choices in sports and majors and other things where I did have my opinions but theirs had to prevail since they were living it, not I.</p>
<p>Have you visited Northeastern with her?</p>
<p>I knew someone who went through the exact same thing you did, except she handled it a lot worse: she forced her child to go to Georgetown instead of University of San Diego, where her daughter had decided to go (for the beautiful campus and closeness to the beach). Her daughter ended up hating Georgetown because it was too “stuffy” and, quite frankly, just not a fit for her, that she ended up dropping out halfway through her first year there. She’s now taking classes at a community college and is planning on transferring to a four-year university, but she had to start over, so she’s essentially a year behind her peers. </p>
<p>Depending on what your daughter plans on studying (has she chosen a major yet?), Northeastern might be a better fit for her, in terms of the strength of that department at Northeastern as opposed to the corresponding department at Rice or Vanderbilt. </p>
<p>Also, if she wants to go to graduate school, her GPA and test scores will weigh more more heavily than where she went to school. A friend of mine went to Arizona State for undergraduate and got into Harvard Law School, whereas another friend graduated from Johns Hopkins but ended up forgoing med school because he didn’t get in anywhere he wanted. </p>
<p>My advice to you right now is to do some research on Northeastern and find out about what it has to offer - you may be surprised! It’s much better to shine at a place in which you feel comfortable being yourself and can really explore who you are as a person and mature and grow, than sliding into the faceless masses of the average at a university to which you have no interest in going. </p>
<p>Best of luck to you and your daughter!</p>
<p>One of the absolute hardest things for me to learn as a parent, once my kids reached a certain age, was to volunteer my thought or opinion or very sage advice 
(imho) … and then let them make their own decision. It takes every ounce of unconditional love, inner strength and patience I have.</p>
<p>I was not happy with D1’s choice, but she was right, she was very successful and loved every minute. In fact she is graduating in a couple of weeks.</p>
<p>Boston will be great! And you will love visiting her there!!!</p>
<p>My son finally made a decision last night. I was initially relieved that the long process was over but now I am having second thoughts. He was accepted at all but one school ( wait listed at Bucknell) and slowly whittled it down to Notre Dame and SUNY Geneseo, a wonderful LAC and one of the best of the state system. His older brother is there and thriving.</p>
<p>DH and I are ND alums. It has always been a magnet for our kids. We did not encourage S1 to apply because of the cost. S2 applied with. The hopes of attending on an ROTC scholarship like his father. Got the scholarship but not to ND. Then he was accepted at ND so we had to really face the money issue. ND did give us a little but it will still be quite expensive.</p>
<p>We explained it all to him. We emphasized our willingness to make it work but that there will not be extras and likely no study abroad, which is a biggie for him. He also understands the distance issue as well as the academic rigor at ND, though he was accepted into the honors program at Geneseo, which is challenging.</p>
<p>Last night he picked Geneseo. Maybe he is just showing enormous maturity but I worry he may have settled, in part due to the money, though that was never mentioned. He does know that grad school is a strong possibility and would be on him if he chose ND. </p>
<p>Sorry for the ramble but I am so torn by it all. I know it will all work out no matter what but it is so tough.</p>
<p>My daughter did not apply to a single reach school. When I let her know it bothered me, she pointed out that the list we assembled, together, included only places where she could get a good (nay, EXCELLENT) education. The idea was that any one of these schools would be great choices academically for a motivated student so she could choose to apply to or attend any one she got into that would work financially. The list included schools at all selectivity levels, but she ended up being lukewarm about the reaches and high matches on her list. In contrast, she liked a few easy matches a lot and lights up like Las Vegas at night at the thought of her chosen school. I don’t think of it as her having chosen a “safety”; I think of it as her having chosen a school about which she is thrilled beyond measure. I’d have been a bit wary if location was the only distinguishing characteristic but if that’s what got her going, why not? Being in a town that excites her may be what your D needs to make her happy, motivated to learn, intellectually engaged, etc. So what if it’s not the “best” school on her list or the “best” school in Boston?</p>
<p>Three good schools for your D to choose from, bottom line if she is happy with her choice she will excel there.</p>
<p>chiming in from another 2012 college grad parent; I HATED my D’s choice back in 2008; still do…</p>
<p>But she was happy and successful…cptofthehouse said it best…</p>
<p>One of our local valedictorians just chose Northeastern over Columbia. We live in a part of the NE where there’s about an equal divide between Boston People and New York City People, but this one has people from both camps scratching their noggins. That said, Northeastern has done well by many, many excellent students in our area. It has also taken some students who under-performed in high school and has produced very successful college graduates from that demographic as well. Some folks look at where Northeastern’s student body came from and views that as a weakness. Others look at the end result and view that as the school’s real strength.</p>
<p>I’m not gonna lie, this particular choice would be a struggle for me to swallow, too – especially at full price.</p>
<p>I agree with posters above that letting the student decide is almost always best. But OP, I feel your pain.</p>
<p>Thanks to the help of the CC on the financial aid forum we knew we had to apply to schools that offered great merit aid or meet need with limited loans. Our/her cost will be between 16k to 23k per year at any of her acceptances. We’ve visted Rice and Northeastern at accepted students day. Rice offers need based aid and NEU offers full-tuition for her Nat’l Merit. Rice offers such a community and supportive environment. </p>
<p>We haven’t pushed for top tier schools- she wanted them. That is why it’s a surprise. She wants to study math, physics or engineering. She/we assumed she would pick Rice.</p>
<p>She’s also my kiddo that can’t decide between wheat or white bread when we go to Subway. So smart but can’t make up her mind about anything.</p>
<p>I’d have a problem with that decision too, especially if wanting to be in Boston seemed like the main reason for the choice. Are there other reasons that she prefers Northeastern?</p>
<p>Are you from the Houston area? I know Rice can be a hard sell for some kids from Houston since its so close to home. Is she worried that if she went to Rice that you would visit too much?</p>
<p>Has she visited Vandy?</p>
<p>If you’re paying for her to go to college, you can make any demands, however unreasonable, that you’d like lol. </p>
<p>For me, if I ever have kids, I wouldnt sweat the school, as long as it has a decent reputation (ie is accredited…). BUT I def would only support certain majors.</p>
<p>What’s your D’s track record, OP, on making good choices? If she’s the kind of kid who makes impulsive and/or poorly thought out choices and then regrets them, you may be right to be concerned. (“Getting out of the south” is not, by itself, a great reason to choose a school - I assume there are other reasons?) And you might want to invest some time of your own researching the three schools to make sure she knows all the pros and cons before she commits. If she has a track record that shows self-awareness and good judgement, then she’s earned your trust - and even the right to make a mistake if NE doesn’t turn out as she hopes. </p>
<p>Picking a college is a relatively low risk decision in the scheme of things. If she hates it, she can transfer. So make sure she understands that there will be no recriminations if it doesn’t work out - she should be able to talk to you about her doubts and concerns once she arrives at NE without fear that it will trigger an ‘i told you so’ reflex, hard though it may be to resist.</p>
<p>Has she ever spent significant time in Boston? The reason I ask is because our daughter spent a summer at Brown between 10th and 11th grade and she went in knowing that Texas was a great place but she wanted out of our big part of the world and she was making a bee line to the Northeast. She spent that summer there and she came back a very changed person. She found a deep appreciation for all things Texas and she realized very quickly that she loved the “southern” way of life. (I know it is not for everyone…and this is not a debate…just one Texas Mom to another) She hated that guys did not hold the door to her and she found it odd that she got the weird eye with every yes ma’am and no sir that spilled out of her mouth. It can be culturally shocking to born and breed Southerners just as it can be equally shocking moving from North to South.</p>
<p>I just mention it because had she chosen to go to school in the Northeast with only a visit under her belt I feel pretty confident that she would have been back after her first quarter and certainly the first year. A weekend is not enough.</p>
<p>Your daughter could be completely different but that was our experience with Texas girls goes to the Northeast. On a separate note, she has had good friends leave their Northeastern schools to return to Texas, not to be close to home, but to be back home. Texas really is very different than most parts and if you love Texas…you might struggle somewhere else. Have you factored in her cost of travel in her COA?</p>
<p>OP–she has to pick one and trying out a new area of the country might be a valid criterion. College is about growth, after all. If she doesn’t love Boston, she might be more likely to move close to you after college. Boston is a great college town though. I think she might love it. </p>
<p>When my son was choosing his college 5 years ago, he had many great options academically, but H and I were so sure he would choose Carleton, for a variety of reasons we had in our minds. He chose Grinnell and I was shocked. We had never let him know our thoughts before his decision and we never let him know after his decision. It took me months to fully realize what a great decision he had made. The school was a perfect fit for him, for reasons H and I couldn’t pick up from our visits, but he could. Trust your kid on this, is my advice, as long as financials are ok.</p>