<p>"her misconception is that college is for fun and relaxation"</p>
<p>Misconception or not, if that's the way she thinks, Swarthmore will not be the right place for her. But I am afraid that neither will be Berkeley (or UCLA or Wellesley for that matter). Maybe she should take a year off to relax and grow up before going to college.</p>
<p>will tell her that too (taking a year off).</p>
<p>curious: why it is the same for Berkeley, UCLA ?</p>
<p>Those are all strong schools, and being successful at any one of them will require hard work.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Any feed back now that you know where all these questions and resistance is coming from?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Yes, here's my feedback (and I know that my Swarthmore daughter would give the same feedback, because we've talked about it):</p>
<p>If a student had to work ridiculously hard in high school to get A's and routinely broke down in tears (as you suggest), then Swarthmore is probably not the right school.</p>
<p>If a student is looking for a college experience that is only for "fun and relaxation" and does not include being engaged academically, then Swarthmore is probably not the right school.</p>
<p>If a student expects to routinely oversleep and miss classes in college, then Swarthmore is probably not the right school. Nobody is going to "bang on your door", but it would be a total waste of a college where students enjoy their classes (as well as having some fun).</p>
<p>In short, there are so many good "party schools" out there, that a student looking to slack off in college after finding high school academics to be stressful and tearful would probably be better served to look elsewhere.</p>
<p>Interesteddad,</p>
<p>what I told her exactly. I got my answer and have also save a lot of money.
her dad told her she should go to Old Miss, voted Nr. 1 in student never touching books thru out the 4 years of college.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone.</p>
<p>I really think the way WDM is phrasing her post indicates that she does not speak English as a first language and is a bit naive as to the ways of typical college students. </p>
<p>A truthful answer: Hygiene--Swarthmore students are no more or less clean than at any typical college. My D showers every day. However, as someone mentioned before, they aren't so concerned with clothing/fashion/etc. and a person who is used to seeing girls wearing makeup and carrying purses or boys with shirts tucked in might think they look scruffy. Berkeley kids will not look or smell any different than Swatties, but kids at UCLA might!</p>
<p>No one will bang on your door if you sleep through a class, you are responsible for keeping your own hours and working as hard or as little as you like. D went to a rigorous HS, so finds the work not that much harder. BUT she does work hard because she holds herself to a high standard and because she has a lot of extra-curricular responsibilities. Maybe she could ease up a bit on herself, but it is her choice. Your daughter may not have to work so hard, but she will find that other students talk about their work quite a bit, and may find that a turn-off. It can be intense, no doubt about it.</p>
<p>Drugs and alcohol--again, quite a bit less partying than the average college. Yes there is alcohol and marijuana, but you will find no pressure to partake of either, and plenty of people that abstain.</p>
<p>Tree hugging--I certainly wish more of the world would fall into this category! There are some people who might find the social/political activism at Swat off-putting--I imagine it might get a bit strident at times, but again, it's not something that every student is into, and you don't have to get involved. This is something that only your daughter can answer for herself by visiting. I think Berkeley would really be similar, but being larger, you would have more opportunity to fit into a different group.</p>
<p>Size of campus. Full disclosure--my D is also an introvert, and thought that on a small campus it would be easiest to make friends--that she might feel overwhelmed and not able to find the right social group on a big campus. I think that is mostly right, and certainly having the opportunity to run into the same people helps. Certainly interacting with faculty is not intimidating (might be at Cal) getting involved in ec's is very easy (may be harder at Cal). However, she has found that Swat is also a bit (for lack of a better word) more cliquey than she had expected. She hasn't had quite the positive social experience that ahe had expected--but maybe expectations were too high. I'll get slammed for this--but what can I say--it's true.</p>
<p>BUT--I think, for her, Berkeley would have absolutely worse. But that's her--it's a completely differnt type of school. You need to read the many many posts about the differences between a large research Univ. and a small LAC. She needs to visit both, if possible. My gut instinct is that Swarthmore is not the right school for her--but only she can decide for sure. Good luck.</p>
<p>Wow--took so long to type that--you've got it all worked out! Ditto what ID said about academic engagement. And if her Dad says that about not cracking the books for 4 years--then it's a definite!! Wait list, anyone?</p>
<p>siusplau</p>
<p>I truly appreciate what you have said. I totally agreed except for the part about my english. haha. will forward to d.</p>
<p>My bad!! Sorry for the assumption--they were not really such odd questions, just an odd way of asking. Best of luck to your D, wherever she chooses.</p>
<p>I find if the question is exact, so will the answer be. If I sugar coated my questions, I most likely would receive round about answers.</p>
<p>It does sound like a year off to think over her prioriites would be a good idea. What a waste to go to any of these schools if she does not want to take advantage of what the academics offer. High school students change a lot from fall to spring. From the OP, I also wondered why she applied to Swarthmore or Wellelesley? 1 major change in goals in the interim? 2 bad advising? she thought they fit her goals, but she was misinformed, or 3 she is burned out. </p>
<p>Defer admission wherever she goes and do something else for a year. Get some perspective. See how much she misses the academic life when she is away from it. Then head to college with a better idea of why she is there.</p>
<p>She is burned out. How does one defer??? If she find any one of those colleges mentioned above is the right one after a year of deferment, does she need to re-apply?</p>
<p>Most colleges will let their admitted students defer for a year, but they will want to know that she will be spending that year doing something worthwhile (does not have to be academic). She will not need to reapply, she will just matriculate a year later.</p>
<p>As usual, a poster who dares write anything that could even be slightly viewed as negative about Swarthmore has been labeled a fake or crazy or difficult to understand by the usual unrealistic Swarthmore fantasy defenders here. Waterdragonmom, don't take it personally. I know you're probably just concerned with what you've heard about Swarthmore. It's a great school, but it does have its downside, which some here don't want you to hear about. Ever. Or anyone else to ever hear about.</p>
<p>Interestedad, you may call me a troll, but I think my 90 or so posts really are nothing compared to your nearly 3,700 posts, most of which glorify or sell Swarthmore or subtly degrade or take swipes at other schools to sell or glorify Swarthmore. Swarthmore is a great school, but it has its problems, and it's only perfect viewed through your rose-colored public relations-admissions-marketing glasses.</p>
<p>Kelly, we've all been wondering why it was taking so long to get your expert opinion...</p>
<p>If some of you Swarthmore posters were more honest about the school, you'd be more helpful to people coming to this site for information.</p>
<p>Current students and recent alums back my opinions sometimes, and I think they'd know better than some of the posters here who must live at their computers, monitoring this school's thread, ready to attack any negative comments. If you'd like me to post links to comments from alums and students, let me know.</p>
<p>If you read the 3 pages of responses on this thread, you'd see that this particular poster got all the info and advice she asked for and more, and not a single parent tried to "sell" Swarthmore to her. If anything, all did the opposite.</p>
<p>Yes, all with an air of condescension. I think "flip" is the word one of the mothers (momof3sons?) used. This just illustrates my point. If anyone dare write anything that could be considered negative, they're considered fake, crazy, unreasonable, and not worthy of one of those really long, fuzzy, lovey dovey posts about Swarthmore we've all come to know here.</p>
<p>As I said, if you think I'm trolling or being unreasonable, please let me know and I'll post links to discussions from Swarthmore students and alums themselves, and even some by Interestedad, that illustrate my point further.</p>
<p>wdm, the bottom line is this, if your d truly needs to ask questions as you have posted, i can readily see why she has very little friends. if she truly has a preconception that only swarthmore students have poor hygiene, then college is not for her. some other type of institution would be able to help her more. sui makes a very good point early on in this thread. if she thinks swatties are what her questions allude to, her head will explode at uc berk especially regarding the obnoxious remark concerning environmentalists and by extention, liberal thinking at lac's. ole miss is a really nice place. it's big (if she alienates 200 people, there are still thousands more who will not know her so she can start over), southern (not too many tree huggers) and as her father implies, literacy, optional. your d may have to visit ole miss and do the sniff test on hygiene, the guidebooks are not too thorough in addressing that aspect of each school.</p>