Understood. Clearly if one is in a private jet family I’d take them at their word. Much more common are parents in big houses with expensive cars, who outwardly say money is not an object, but may be running on thinner margins than their kids can really understand, with little room for missteps. I’ve seen kids posting on here who say their family income will “definitely” go up next year, grandparents are definitely going to pay their tuition etc. But things can happen. Businesses fail, parents lose jobs, investments go bad, someone becomes disabled, grandparents now need support instead of the other way around, things for which most adults have a hard time thinking and planning, much less 17 year old kids.
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You accurately described some American families. OP is international, and by all indications, hers isn’t such a family in terms of their financial means.
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Apparently some posters here think they know more about the OP family’s personal finances than they do. Feels a lot more like people projecting their own situations onto the OPs. I take her and her parents at their word.
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OP posted a question about which school to pick which specifically included “full tuition” to USC as one of the considerations - and says financial factors don’t weigh “too much,” then it has to be some iota of a factor. Otherwise I’m not sure why they would even be asking the question because USC seemed to be the least good fit based on the OP’s preferences and aspirations.
Someone said the quiet part out loud, to paraphrase one of my favorite posters in the forum. Unless a poster demonstrates obvious cluelessness about what things cost and how his or her parents will come up with the funds, I think it a waste of time and sometimes a huge distraction to continue beating that drum. We. Just. Don’t. Know. That’s it. Ask, and if the answer is, “we got the money,” leave it alone unless they say something else to make it fairly clear they don’t know what they’re doing or talking about.
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I totally agree with this statement. I just got back from my trip for the admitted student event, where I had the opportunity of speaking with many current students. Very few of them are involved in TO, in fact, only the people I met from the Queer Students Center are engaged in the program, everyone else who is in Greek life, business school, etc. didn’t even try to apply for TO. I find that to be an interesting phenomenon. Additionally, they mentioned that TO is only an alternative for Gen Ed. While it helps bring new, innovative experiences to traditionally lecture-based classes, it’s not as influential to their overall education experiences as an actual Honors College.
I had a deep conversation with my parent about this. I think at the end of the day, she wants me to find fit but she also wants me to be the “favorite child” of an institution, and she worries I would be just an ordinary hard worker at Swarthmore. Whereas at USC, they take the scholarship kids to international trips over spring break and things like they give her the idea that I would be heavily preferred at USC. She’s also mad about the fact that I already declined my spot for a full ride at UNC (offered another really amazing merit scholarship, but I made the decision after visiting though I really appreciate the school itself), so I think she’s worried I would make another choice without having enough mature considerations.
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One of the reasons most LACs don’t have “favorite child” programs is that they can give most students exactly what they need without them.
Go check out Swat - it sounds like your kind of place. There is a lot going on in terms of social justice and Philly has an good arts scene (including festivals for new theater works.)
The opportunities at USC is interesting but it sounds like the main draw is that your mom wants it for you. She loves you and wants the best for you. And it is your 4 years…
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I was going to reply earlier but it sounded like you had already made a decision to attend Swarthmore.
USC Trustee Scholars are not treated like a “favorite child.” They are offered honors housing (along with 500+ other scholarship recipients) but, other than that, they aren’t treated any differently. I’m not sure what you are referring to when you say that USC takes the scholarship students on international trips over spring break.
Are you interested in Greek life? If so, that is where you will find more of the party culture that you are trying to avoid. If not, I’m not sure why you care if they participate in Thematic Option. The same goes for business students. If you are majoring in Comparative Lit & Society, you will be in Dornslife, not Marshall. Did you speak to Dornslife students? Did you visit the Thematic Option booth at Explore USC?
Why is she upset about this? Is it the fact that there were financial benefits or the fact that it was UNC? Or is she upset that you are making decisions without consulting her? While I don’t want to assume that money matters to your mom, the fact that she seems to want you to take advantage of the schools offering financial incentives, makes me think that it matters more than you believe.
When you refer to “my family” are you talking about your mom? Or are there others involved as well? Could it be that she would rather re-locate to California?
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I suppose you mean the LGTBQ+ Center… And just to clarify Thematic Option at USC - the program is limited to 200 that have to apply and be accepted. So you will not run into TO students everywhere you go, but will be with them in your classes.
The info below was provided by a professor of Thematic Option at USC and is a better description than my “more writing and reading” synopsis. 
@AquaticLibrarian posted re Thematic Option:
It offers small classes with some of the University’s best undergraduate teachers and a hand-picked group of writing instructors…Thematic Option’s curriculum consists of honors-level interdisciplinary courses taught around distinct themes, through which you will satisfy USC’s general education requirements. Your T.O. classes will ask you to consider the big questions, such as: Is there such a thing as human nature? How have conceptions of justice changed over time? Is there order in history? How do we define progress? What is the nature of truth? Where does knowledge come from? As you pursue possible answers, you will learn about broad ethical issues and approaches to historical change. As issues of epistemology, representation, and social construction emerge from your studies, you will be challenged to reconceptualize the world and your role within it.
Thematic Option’s writing program consists of two writing seminars supplemented with biweekly one‐on‐one tutorials…
I read through this thread all at once, which can net a very different perspective than post to post, and responding to the most recent concern of the thread. I could be totally wrong, but what I get out of the entire thread boils down to this:
Mom wants USC - whether history, money/scholarship, personal preference, all of them - we don’t know. But student wants to be closer to boyfriend.
And all of the OP commentary is being written to fit that priority.
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If finances are an issue - OP says no but maybe it sounds like mom disagrees - but when it comes to saving hundreds of thousands of dollars and it’s important to the parent (not sure after reading the different posts that we truly know) - in most cases mom is going to win because no matter what the student wants, parents know how long and hard it is to save hundreds of thousands.
As others have said not all parents are created equally from a wealth or value of money POV - but if OP is trying to convince her mom that it’s ok to spend hundreds of thousands more, a CC cheering section is unlikely to do so.
tbh, from what I have seen, is if someone has to be persuaded to take a Trustee from USC (or any school offering full tuition for that matter), it just may not be the right school for them. We went through this with some other schools, and while hard to leave all that $ on the table, it just wasn’t the right school.
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I’m not sure some of you have carefully read the whole thread. OP has said:
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Her family is from “across the Pacific Ocean”
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She has “lived in the South” and “attended American high school” (a boarding school in the South?)
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She jetted “to Philly almost every month” (presumably to see her boyfriend)
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Her “family can comfortably afford COA at any college”
Why do you keep assuming that money is an issue for this family?
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You are looking at fit and location. What else does she want you to consider? Why is she worried that you are not making mature considerations?
I think everyone has read but then read contradictory statements like mom is upset I declined a full deal at UNC-CH. abd is pushing USC.
I wish OP well whatever she and her family decide.
I don’t think the discussion here will change whatever mom is thinking. Ultimately mom/dad are spending, whether they have means or not so if Swat is full pay and that’s what the student wants, it will be up to them to make that decision, unless they truly put the decision in the hands of OP.
Good luck to the family.
In any choice listed, the student will have wonderful opportunities.
Agree. That happened with us too. Neither of our kids took the lowest cost offer of admission…because it wasn’t right for them. And really looking back, we are pleased with both of their undergrad choices!
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But that doesn’t mean she’s upset because of money. USC (and probably UNC-CH too) is better known in that part of the world than Swarthmore.
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Agreed, We don’t know.
My point is mom is not going to change based on this thread. OP needs to work with mom. Hopefully she can choose but ultimately those with the purse strings get to decide. Both cost. USC just less.
I think it is fantastic that you went to the USC admitted student event and you are correct that TO is not a traditional Honors College. However, I do not believe you came away with an accurate understanding of the TO program, the range of students who participate, or how the program influences students’ educational experiences. Good luck with your decision and it sounds like you are making a concerted effort to weigh the options.