Taking a gap year...but I'm already in college?

College Search & Selection
1

<p>I'll try to keep this as succinct as possible, but I am currently attending a top 10 university. Yet, I am miserable beyond all belief. I had hoped that I could find it within me the strength to attend college, but I was simply not ready. I see no other option than to withdraw at least for the rest of the year. I have done my research and know that if I decide to return to the school, I am welcome back. It's not even that I hate the school - the school is one of the best - I'm just having a miserable experience that transcends the issues of homesickness or "being new." Part of it is my fault - the experience in which I have wrapped myself up in. It is not even academically related. In fact, at my present school via AP testing, I've already taken basically a years worth of courses. To understand truly, you would have to know me, but since that is not even remotely close to being a possibility, just follow along. </p>

<p>I realize that I could stay for a year and then transfer, but frankly, I don't think I can make it a year. In my present state of mind, I'm thinking of the idea of returning perhaps next year and then always transferring. The bare bones of the issue is that I need to work some things out in my life in order to achieve some form of emotional/internal homeostasis. I know that some people will say a month or so isn't long enough, but in my heart of hearts I know my staying here will only aggravate the problems I am having. Part of me worries that a year of college might even burn me out to the point of never wanting to return. That scares me. College is supposed to be the time of your life, and I feel like a prisoner. I'm not asking you to force your judgment upon the past; that was only an introduction so I can explain where I'm at - mentally and physically. </p>

<p>So, I know that I can always return in a year to one of the best schools in the country - essentially, it's the ultimate safety school. But in my gap year (it's still early after all), I would also like to apply to some other schools. Not ten schools or anything exorbitant but a handful of schools to which, for the most part, I didn't apply to when in high school, and I regret this fact. In my gap year (minus one month), I was thinking about volunteering abroad in some capacity be it a program or whatever! I don't know, but I have a bit of time to dwell on that matter (I already have ideas in my head). Also, I would like to take this time to write seriously. I like to think of myself as a writer in name only. To give some perspective, I was accepted to JHU's Writing Seminars program (not the school I attend) so when I say "writing," it's not a misnomer. I don't mean writing pen-pal letters! : p</p>

<p>But my main concern was when would I apply? I am a late birthday, so in terms of age, I could fit with either this class year or the next. Do I apply this year before January 1st again? But at that point in time, I might only be beginning this volunteering or whatnot. I understand that colleges would want to know what I have been keeping myself busy with, and I would only be referencing what I WOULD be doing. Do people apply the fall after their gap year which by then would be two years? I'm not particularly fond of that idea, and that's what confused me. If I volunteered abroad, I would probably be leaving shortly after when I submit my applications. I'm not sure what the rule of thumb is in this situation. Do I apply this fall or next fall? I know that applying as a freshman is still a long shot, but I could always return to the school I attend now, and perhaps with some more enthusiasm, be able to finish a year or more - maybe I will transfer, maybe I won't. But, in this present time, I see no other option than to temporarily withdraw. </p>

<p>I really could use some help on this issue, and I'm sorry it was so long.</p>

2

<p>If you want to take a leave of absence, ask what your school’s policies are. Some are open ended; some are not and make you declare when you would return.</p>

<p>Probably a good idea to complete your term.</p>

<p>The other stuff - might apply elsewhere, thinking of volunteering, having to label the time off as a gap year - is of the personal, and I suggest you start talking to someone about those issues. That personal stuff should drive the bureacratic questions you are asking, not the other way around. </p>

<p>Your last para has two major themes: unsure of what rules go with gap years, and confusion about what you want to do. Concentrate on the latter and the former will work out. </p>

<p>That is, work on what you want to do next instead of concentrating on the ineffable future re-entry into school.</p>

3

<p>Agree that your big issue is next week, not next year.
What is going wrong in your present college experience?</p>

4

<p>As I already stated, it is an open ended policy. I plan to come back to college next year although that could change depending on my circumstances. I agree with you that I shouldn’t worry about reapplying in ESSENCE, but realistically, the process for applying is not in the spring or summer - it IS in the here and now. If the next few months pass without placing any concern into that matter, then I am inevitably faced with taking another gap year as well. Too long of a delay may also make me hesitant about my return. </p>

<p>While the little details of this week may not affect the next year, decisions I make this week may be a part of the larger makeup of the year to come. I understand that you say I should ground myself in the present, but the present is a component of the future. </p>

<p>What is going wrong? Without knowing me personally, it would be hard to quantify my dissatisfaction. It’s a multitude of issues that can’t be conveyed over the Internet. Just take me at my word - trust me. I’m miserable, and that’s all that really matters when it comes down to it.</p>

5

<p>Please read my thread on CC about a subject of importance. I am carrying a heavy heart tonight about someone and a serious issue that relates to this. I cannot tell you enough, how important it is to reach out…here on CC fine, but to friends and professors, counselors, campus ministry, to delve into your inner feelings and face who you are right now. Its okay. DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF by societal standards and what others expect of you. </p>

<p>I will pray for you. I mean that. Seek some advice…campus ministry is a great place to start. Or student health center. Its okay…no shame in being depressed or lonely. Its normal. We are all humans. See a professor over coffee and spill the beans. </p>

<p>PM me if you want. God bless.</p>

6

<p>Woah, woah, wait a minute!</p>

<p>I know who I am - for all my strengths and flaws. I think you have the wrong idea. Throughout college, I have stayed in close contact with my parents to discuss my unhappiness and dissatisfaction with college at this point in my life. I don’t see the direct correlation between dissatisfaction and depression. Not a slight against you, but I don’t need spiritual help, and I DO know who I am. I kind of simply wanted an answer to the last part:</p>

<p>“But my main concern was when would I apply? I am a late birthday, so in terms of age, I could fit with either this class year or the next. Do I apply this year before January 1st again? But at that point in time, I might only be beginning this volunteering or whatnot. I understand that colleges would want to know what I have been keeping myself busy with, and I would only be referencing what I WOULD be doing. Do people apply the fall after their gap year which by then would be two years? I’m not particularly fond of that idea, and that’s what confused me. If I volunteered abroad, I would probably be leaving shortly after when I submit my applications. I’m not sure what the rule of thumb is in this situation. Do I apply this fall or next fall?”</p>

<p>The other part is in my hands. I just wanted a general consensus on the quoted passage on taking a gap year and reapplying.</p>

7

<p>I just read your thread ghostbuster and I am in complete agreement with you on the battle between pressure and mental health, but I am not a part of THAT argument. The only pressure I have placed on me is the weight of my own expectations; I don’t come from a family that bases their feelings of affections on certain conditions. Sparing all the personal details, I just feel that I am not ready for college.</p>

8

<p>Right now, you have to decide if you are going to stay until the end of the term or not.</p>

<p>If you stay, near the end of the term, you need to decide if you will take a leave for the rest of the year or not.</p>

<p>If you leave, you should have a plan for what you will do with your time (work, travel, write a novel, whatever).</p>

<p>If you stay until the end of the year, you can decide in the spring whether you want a term/year off or not.</p>

<p>Assuming that you do take a leave after one semester, it is perfectly fine to think about transferring to another college/university if you want to. In fact, since you will have fewer than one year’s worth of earned credit at CollegeA, some institutions would allow you to apply as a 1st year student rather than as a transfer. In either case, with only one semester of earned college credits, your most important transcript will still be your HS transcript.</p>

<p>It is OK to take a semester, a year, or as many years as you like, off. Don’t let fear that you’ll never go back stop you from doing what is best for your self. When you are ready, you will be ready, and college will still be there.</p>

<p>Tomorrow, pop by the counseling office at your college/university, and sit down with a professional to discuss your options. They will help you figure out what is the right thing for you to do.</p>

9

<p>My first semester of college, I fell in love, gained 40 pounds, came down with the flu, dropped two courses, and learned a great deal about myself and the subjects I was studying. I made enormous strides toward adulthood in those 4 months.</p>

<p>I don’t know whether you have given sufficient consideration to riding the semester out. But I do know that it’s hardly unusual to feel somewhat overwhelmed by the experience of a first semester.</p>

<p>My second semester, I learned more about love, and finished a full course-load. I had similar experiences my third semester, while losing most of the weight I gained that third semester.</p>

<p>Don’t do anything rash. Having life-changing experiences comes with the turf.</p>

<p>(I do have a friend who withdrew from a top-ten university after feeling overwhelmed, re-applied as a freshman to a top-ten liberal arts college, and graduated from law school with me after a fine undergraduate career. That path worked out for her.)</p>

10

<p>fallout, okay pal. I read you. Just doing a check on things. Some awful things happened in the last 48 hours at two universities, one of which is where my D1 attends, and it was ALL related to stress, pressure. Both cases were honors students. </p>

<p>I concur with grey beard. Adjusting to college is tough. A very peculiar and strange environment in the dorms (believe me, I know what goes on there), a different learning style than in high school, and a LARGE campus. Away from home etc. Crappy food. </p>

<p>You can get through this if you persevere and focus on your studies, and then find a club or activity or group of friends for “free time/play time” that relieves the stress, provides you with enjoyment and distraction and helps clear out the negative karma. </p>

<p>Other than that, if you have other issues going on inside of you, get some counseling. Its not shameful nor does it mean you don’t know who you are (though you do appear to be struggling a bit with that at least on one level). Or go to a professor’s office hours and have a cup of joe and chit chat, laugh, make a connection etc. </p>

<p>As for being ready for college and maturity, well, it takes a mature person to see that. I suspect you are more mature than you give yourself credit for. You dont appear to be the party animal irresponsible type. </p>

<p>PM me if you want to share details. I am here for you.</p>

11

<p>fallout, hats off for knowing yourself well enough to realize you’d benefit from a time out, for exploring the issue head on with your current school and for openly talking about this with your parents and gaining their support. You have already tackled the biggest issues in an extraordinarily mature and responsible way! </p>

<p>Trust yourself. The details will fall into place. I think you simply need to take a deep breath and savor the idea that you can and will do this! Then, perhaps, the seemingly overwhelming swirl of “how to’s” and “what if’s” will resolve into a less daunting presentation of your practical options.</p>

<p>I am the mom of a daughter who took a gap between HS and college for a variety of “unready” feelings. She says it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Here are a few things she experienced–YMMV.</p>

<p>By the winter break after May HS graduation, she was a bit wistful she wasn’t going back to school in January like everyone else. The 7+ months off had given her the time she needed; but she continued to relish and didn’t waste a minute of the next 7+ months 'til August college start.</p>

<p>She had accepted her #1 college and received a deferral to take the gap year, so didn’t have to deal with re-applying during her time off. This was a huge benefit for her–it allowed for total escape from that part of her life = total focus on the personal development she sought. Consider whether it’d really be okay if you did the same…as I see it, at the end of your time off, you’d likely face three options: (1) return to your current school open to the possibility of discovering it was just what you wanted after all, (2) return to your current school with the realization it’s not what you want for the long-term, but manageable/beneficial for a short time while you simultaneously prepare transfer apps to schools that meet your now-focused long-term goals, or (3) realize there’s no short-term rationale for returning to your current school and extend your gap to make those transfer apps. These outcomes may not be what you foresee; but you get my point–if you can simply write down the most likely outcomes, it may give you that “aha” moment you’re looking for right now. There is no horrific downside to not having the specifics of your end-game worked out in advance!</p>

<p>You may encounter difficulty making your gap year seem meaningful by objective measures. She found that nailing a satisfying volunteer opp can be a challenge, as the economic downturn has driven a high percentage of college graduates to those spots, reducing availability for younger students. And the downturn’s also impacted job availability. As bright as you are, it may come as a shock that you don’t look like anything but a HS kid to many prospective employers! My dau faced all of this, had to change course several times and ended up piecing together a year of menial jobs, local PT volunteerism, lots of reading and writing–passions she shares with you, living on her own, some travel, etc. We provided the essential funding because it was all researched and reasonable. She learned so many valuable life lessons and, most of all, lots of inner perspective about who she was and what she wanted from college and life generally. Of course, there are plenty of “packaged” gap year plans out there, structured volunteer/learning travel opps, etc.–and if she’d come to us with a well-considered proposal for what she believed she’d get out of that sort of experience, we would’ve supported it. As it turned out, she made the most of her year, warts and all, and says she wouldn’t have done it any other way.</p>

<p>This may or may not apply to you, but a life-changing value my daughter acquired during her gap year was the ability to accept and adapt to different ways of defining success and reaching goals. </p>

<p>Life is a journey. Listen and be true to yourself. Take your own path. Embrace the detours!</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

12

<p>Thank you for that message TXArtemis - I feel that you really understand my plight. Whatever I want to do whether it’s an internship or serious volunteer work, I can’t just put that together and do that later this month. Realistically, anything I do would probably have to be done in the early winter until spring or summer. I still need to think things through, but what if in that time period between now and winter, I applied to 4 or 5 schools? Part of me would feel foolish by having to contact teachers and my counselor again for recommendations, but I can muster up the courage for that one. As I said, I attend a top 10 school and was accepted to other peer schools - my GPA, SAT scores, and ECs are definitely up to snuff, but I really would like to attend somewhere next year. I can write extraordinary essays because I’ve done it before; I just need a little time to think about them. My parents are worried that if I take a year off after this one, I may grow more hesitant and reluctant to go back to the point where I don’t want to. I am in muted agreement although I’m not sure as to what my feelings would be in the future. </p>

<p>Would it be detrimental to apply to those handful of schools now? Before my “odyssey of sorts” - whatever that may be? Because If I did something later this year and set it up beforehand, my essays would only be explaining what I plan to be doing within the next month or two. Does that look, well, bad? Am I at a disadvantage because of my situation? And where would I put this information that I attended X University and that I withdrew? I know that I need to explain myself so that it doesn’t appear suspicious, but do I make reference of that in my essay - maybe to piece it into a bigger puzzle that is me?</p>

<p>My dilemma is if I finished the term, that would take the better part of the year away which all but destroys any chance of applying to other schools. That would essentially pigeonhole me into either coming back to my current school next year or taking another year off and then applying then. I could go round and round with this issue! I think that my best bet is to apply to a couple schools now and then decide whether or not I want to return to my current school if only to weigh my options. I also think I know what I want now - a smaller more cohesive college. Would my insight help in the supplements? To have been through what I have? I just don’t know anymore!</p>

<p>Can someone please help me with these questions? I need to know how to go about this process…for a second time.</p>

13

<p>Please, can someone help me with my questions?</p>

14

<p><em>bump</em>
<em>bump</em></p>

15

<p>fallout, I’ll help you bump this thing by adding my take after your latest input:</p>

<p>What you really want to know is, if I withdraw, can I competitively apply to other selective schools for fall 2011 and also hold onto the right to return to current top 10 school in fall 2011?</p>

<p>My gut tells me the answers are yes and maybe. But without knowing what’s going on and what schools are involved, I don’t think any amount of anecdoctal evidence can help you get reliable answers to those questions. You’ve got to hit the authoritative sources of the info you need to sort out the impact of withdrawal on your ability to choose where you’d like to enroll come next August.</p>

<p>May I suggest you do two things pronto:</p>

<p>1 - Call the Admissions office of every school on your target list. What you need to confirm is, if you withdraw, will they treat your app as freshman and not a transfer? Will they request the transcript or otherwise seek information from your current school? [Note: The Common App/Common Transfer App language refers to colleges you “attended.” I think you have to truthfully disclose. If you have a good relationship with your HS GC, he/she might be a great point person for you on this point, as well as others/the big picture.] While you are at it, be sure to review all of those other college websites for AP credit policies. If you withdraw and are admitted, will they give you a year’s worth of AP credit? If not, if you stick out this term, will the credits be a part of your current college’s transcript and become widely transferable/accepted by other colleges?</p>

<p>2 - Please re-visit the issue of what your current college will do for you. I am not sure your confidence in the LOA/return scenario = assured readmission without reapplication next August if you withdraw and apply to other schools. Also, what would they report if other schools do seek a transcript or other official information? Obviously, unless these answers are clear from website or handbook, you need to figure out how to gain clarification without triggering red flags. You may need to consider asking your parents for guidance; but I agree with the above poster who suggested you talk with a school counselor. Try to see one tomorrow, okay?</p>

<p>fallout, I sense you can’t see the forest for the trees at the moment. Don’t focus on essay explanations right now. You’re a great writer, you will figure out how to handle that stuff when the time comes. Don’t focus on what you will do with your gap time. You are resourceful and will figure that out.</p>

<p>Do focus on gathering the hard facts you need to quickly decide whether to withdraw vs. stick it out through term–this will allow you to relax over the certainty of a timeline: if you withdraw, you’ll have ample time to make freshman apps, as allowed, and if you stick it out to term, you’ll have ample time to make transfer apps, as those deadlines are later. Do try to keep your academics up the next week or so while you are reaching a decision in the event you decide to stay through term.</p>

<p>Lastly, as a mom, I just have to echo others’ observation that you really need to talk with a trusted adult and get some help sorting this out. You say you are miserable; it shows. You say you don’t think you can stay on this path right now; the message is loud and clear. It sounds like your relationship with your parents is open and supportive. They would want you to come to them. You need to let go of this. The sky is not going to fall if you withdraw to find a way out from your misery! Trust that everything’s reparable in one way or another. You will have plenty of time to figure that out later…just do what you need to do to take care of yourself!</p>

<p>Best wishes.</p>

16

<p>Thank you for that. </p>

<p>Does anyone else have an answer to my questions or situation in general? Please?</p>

17

<p>I have an anecdote that might help as one more piece of input.</p>

<p>A friend was at a top school and miserable. Grades were bad because of misery.
Left after one year - had the opportunity to come back.
Went to a school close to home for a year. Straight A’s.
Wanted to transfer to an interesting school that had originally been considered and was a safety/match when friend was a h.s. senior.
The interesting school the friend wanted to transfer to was not happy with student’s college transcript(s), with a low college GPA because of bad grades from year one.</p>

<p>I think you should try to last at your current school til the end of fall semester or quarter, but if you are so miserable that it will be reflected in your grades, I think it would be better to withdraw/take a leave of absence “for health reasons” or something like that. You don’t want a semester of bad grades at a good college on your permanent record.</p>

18

<p>If I stayed, it wouldn’t affect my grades. I would make sure of that so my concern really isn’t vested in that matter. I would like to, if only to try to open up my options, is to apply to some other schools as a freshman. If I finished the term, I would basically be pigeonholed into going back to the same school - which I don’t hate mind you. I may have to return if only for a year to then transfer, but I would like to try to open the door somewhere else so maybe I have a “choice.” I would still work hard and get the grades to show for it.</p>