Teachers and Students--How Close Is Too Close?

<p>OK, I'm worried about some of the stories I'm reading in here, lol. They do sound a bit scary. I definitely don't agree with teachers, male or female, actually "making a move" or "trying something" with students. Especially when the student and the teacher hardly know each other. The posts in here strike me as being from students who don't really know too well, the teacher they say is "showing signs." For those in that situation, I'd be nervous if I don't know where the "signs" are coming from. In my case, I was already good friends with my teacher in question and had no problem accepting his flirtatious jokes. I was sorry they ended when he got "the girlfriend." </p>

<p>I think it is shameful that everyone immediately thinks that if a student and teacher might like each other, it means they wanna hop in bed. Are you kidding? Unless the teacher is a total pervert, it is the furthest thing from either the student or teacher's mind! From what I've seen, the decent "relationships" (if you wanna call them that) are always based on a common friendship/bond, built because of three things: 1) common interests, 2) talking a lot and getting to know each other more, and/or 3) them good ol' sparks that go a' flyin'! My experience was based on all three (there were sparks early on, but they got put out when the girlfriend came along). Point is, most of these things happen for a year or two before they burn out. Students go to college and forget about teachers. Teachers leave the district and move on as well. But let me ask you this: what if a teacher and student SHOULD become a couple strictly because it would be stupid not to? What I mean is, what if, after all the "moving on" people do, a teacher and student "hook up" in the end? That would make for an interesting Oprah episode; Amazing Stories of Love and Friendship . . . on the next, Oprah! LOL!</p>

<p>yes here is something for all you hopefuls: my mom went to stuyvesant for HS, and she along with half the girls in her class were madly in love with an Algebra teacher (she has a 100 on a math regents to prove it lol). and so a few years after she and her friends graduated, one of them ended up marrying the professor! and they r still married today! cool huh</p>

<p>LOL Krabble! I wanna meet you ;)</p>

<p>Wow, you have some really gay teachers. We only have one teacher at my school who is really really gay (he's stillin the closet but there's no point.) and I have a friend who always fights with him and talks about how the teacher touched him. He's probably being the ass he usually is. Twisting stories and lying. And he loves to make jokes like this
"We were playing with the footballs and we accidentally hit him and he got mad and said 'Let me hold your balls!' "</p>

<p>Okay, that was lame. But I laughed. I'm laughing now.</p>

<p>Bashful, I still say you're wrong. Unless something is wrong with the teacher (its totally naturally to be horney for young, sexy highschool girls) I don't see what a grown man would want a relationship with a 15 year old girl for.</p>

<p>Quitejaded: I never said that an actual relationship with a teacher while you're 15, or still in high school, or still a student under the teacher no matter your age, is right. I said it is perfectly natural and normal if you want to be "friendly" with a teacher. I'm saying that you can joke, flirt (subtly and quietly if you're in class, or a little more if you're alone), and be "close" with a teacher (talking as though you're friends rather than teacher/student, meaning it's more personal and informal). Never should you actually DATE a teacher while they control your grade or have influence over you, even if they are well-intentioned and decent--it just looks bad no matter how nice they are. </p>

<p>As for me, when I ALMOST saw a movie with a teacher, it was because he taught at the middle school while I was up at the high school; we happened to get close after I left the middle school. In fact, he and I had probably spoken at best, ten times when I was at the middle school. It wasn't until the end of my freshman year that I even started getting clsoe with him. He was moved up to my high school during my junior year, which was a terrible year because he changed quite a bit over the summer due to the girlfriend. I had to endure falling for him while his "interest" in me diminished to hardly anything. He explained that he knew he'd be leaving eventually and he didn't want to be so close with me when he did (he was laid off from the district and now works in another, so I may never see him again). I certainly hope that won't be the case because I already am missing him like crazy and his emails are so infrequent because he doesn't visit the computer too much. </p>

<p>So let me stress, there was NEVER an actual relationship. There was just a powerful suggestion that there could eventually be one in a few years, had he held out longer in the girlfriend department. I still like him enough and am bitter enough to wish that it doesn't work out between he and his girlfriend. He said he was going to propose this summer, but didn't want me telling anybody (having doubts there?). Not to mention, summer is over and the last email I got didn't sound like he had a fiance on his arm. What would it mean if he didn't propose like he intended? Sorry to lay this out to everyone but I'm curious as to what people think. </p>

<p>Plus, he made a comment that the girlfriend wanted him to read more religious books. He mentioned that in an email when he said he'd read DaVinci Code. He and I had agreed that we weren't very religious when we'd talked about Passion of the Christ last year, so if she's pushing religious books on him, DaVinci Code is his typical lazy way of getting out of reading something truly religious, like the Left Behind series. My hope is he realizes he was just whipped and that he can do better, LOL :PX-< (those characters, if you look sideways, are a person standing with her arms crossed and her tongue out--represents me).</p>

<p>I had a Bible teacher who, seven or so years ago, married a former student. I don't know all the details of the story, but he taught her when she was a senior, and a little while after she graduated he asked her parents and the school for permission to date her. Well, they ended up getting married and just had their second kid!</p>

<p>KRabble reminds me of Chandler (from Friends)...lol..</p>

<p>as for the original post:
It's perfectly natural to be attracted to young teachers, but it's certainly not right to date if the teacher/student relationship is still an issue.</p>

<p>KRabble - run far from those male teachers.</p>

<p>krabble if anything you sound really hot. haha</p>

<p>hmm weird teacher stories? last year one of the junior class advisors married an old student. he graduated and visited her and ... well yeah. apparently she's had 2 of these relationships as well.</p>

<p>oh yeah and in 8th grade my spanish teacher also married one of his students. he was like 50, and she was in her 20's.. and they had kids. we also have our share of horny male teenagers, one of them, a soph english teacher has (no joke) like 9 kids (they keep coming) and he hits on every girl. but i mean, you're always gonna meet sketchy people like that, so oh well eh?</p>

<p>There is a difference between a dodgy male teacher you don't trust the motives of, and a pure, decent man who isn't much older (in my case, he's 26 and I'm 17). The teachers who make a student uncomfortable with funny, unwanted attention, I'd be worried about them because in those cases, what they are doing was never welcomed nor requested by the student. In the cases where the decent male teachers reciprocate, and I use that loosely, it's normally because the student saw the friendliness into fruition. </p>

<p>I never spoke to the teacher I liked because I was far too shy to do so, but I secretly had the biggest crush on him because he was literally the sweetest person I'd ever met (gave me cavities). It wasn't until my freshman year that i saw the opportunity to get over the shyness and speak with him. I asked him for his email (out of the blue after I'd joined the middle school for a field trip he was on), I wanted him to like me, I made it possible for him to do so. I made sure I saw him more. The only thing that was from him, and he alone, was during the field trip, he'd out of the blue asked if I was in band. I said no. He asked again if I was in band in middle school (keep in mind I was confused as to why he was asking me all this). I said no again. Then he said he thought I played the flute, and he was grinning. I caught on (my name is Michelle and I guess he just got done seeing American Pie 2 at the time) and told him that I don't play the flute and was never in American Pie. He asked, and here's the exact words, "Come on, I'll be the trumpet boy!" For those who have seen American Pie 2, Michelle (character he was implying was me) sticks a trumpet up Jason Biggs' butt (the trumpet boy). He grinned like crazy. I meant to start poking him and pretending it wasn't me (he always said it bugged him), but was too nervous and then someone sat down near us. That line from him actually made me like him more. There were a few other things too, but I guess you can guess that he and i got close.</p>

<p>Anyhoo, peace out.</p>

<p>I think my future boss (my current boss is leaving soon, I know who I'll have next) is really hot, which is terrible because she's literally twice my age.</p>

<p>By the way, in terms of teacher-student relationships...</p>

<p>The Head of the science department at my school was arrested for having a relationship with one of his 16 year students about 1.5 years ago.</p>

<p>Right now... he's in jail</p>

<p>Has anyone taken a look at the contextual ads goooooogle places at the top of the page? now what i'm getting is this:</p>

<p>
[quote]
K-Y Sensual Evening Wash
Prepare for a night of passion and intimacy with four sensual scents.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>;)</p>

<p>mwbashful, you sound kind of intense... i dont know about you, but when i was in middle school, i never really thought about guys, let alone teachers.. </p>

<p>hey, whatever floats you boat</p>

<p>Krabble88 r u a guy or a girl? I first thought u were a guy but then u said that u would make a "hella couple" with ur 50 year old physics teacher whom u referred to as "he." So what r u ? I can't quite get the picture here.</p>

<p>When I was in middle school, I never thought about guys. I still don't really. It just happened that the teacher I have been talking about was/is the nicest person I have ever known, and I found myself starting to like him. But I didn't try to do anything about it until May ofmy freshman year. I asked for his email so I could get to know him. I didn't really know anything about him, except what he shared in class. We emailed about books, music, movies, hobbies, summer activities, school, opinions of things, normal stuff. My sophomore year we started trading books and CDs, and I visited the middle school a lot to talk to him more. It just happened that he and i were like exact clones of each other (but he's a Pepsi person, I'm a Coke drinker, among very few other things) and we got along. Things would have been a lot more fun for my junior and senior year had he not found someone so soon.</p>

<p>"I think some of you tend to come off as overestimating yourself. I highly doubt many of your teachers want to rush into bed with you. If so, they have serious issues"</p>

<p>I'm completely agree. </p>

<p>mwbashful, you're living in a fantasy world. let this post bring you back to reality. For example, find someone your own age.</p>

<p>"I think some of you tend to come off as overestimating yourself. I highly doubt many of your teachers want to rush into bed with you. If so, they have serious issues"</p>

<p>I'm completely agree. </p>

<p>mwbashful, you're living in a fantasy world. let this post bring you back to reality. For example, find someone your own age.</p>

<hr>

<p>What I have been posting on is all past stuff. As in, not currently happening. Please don't judge my story when you don't know even a quarter of it. I've posted about it so that it fuels this topic because it's been my experience that it happens a lot, that students "chase" ater a teacher, or at least do their darndest to get their attention. I wanted to see what other people think about it. As for overestimating the situation and teachers jumping into bed with students, I don't think anything I have posted about personally has alluded to a sexual relationship, because that was not what my friendship with my teacher was based on, or leading up to. I simply care a lot about him and, as I learned during this past summer, he cares an awful lot about me. We just don't have any romantic relationship, though I would have liked to see where one would go. That's all.</p>

<p>krabb's a dude.</p>

<p>Seth, what are you talking about? She knows the teacher doesn't have the hotts for her.</p>

<p>"perhaps, but she obviously has uh feelings for her <em>pinches nose</em> teacher.</p>

<p>Im not sure what the administration at my high school thinks when they hire male teachers, but they always pick the hottest ones. I had a crush on probably half a dozen of them throughout my high school career. Most of them knew they were goodlooking and would flirt back. It was no big deal. . .until my senior year. My senior science teacher, was different than anyother teacher I have ever had. I honestly thinks he has hardcore feelings for me. He would become angry and question me when I would mention somehting to another student about a teacher being goodlooking. He would be like what is so great about them, you know they arent as nice as you think. He carpooled with a couple other teachers of mine, they would come into school and say how nice it is to see me. . .since they heard about me during the whole car ride to school. Now that Im in college, he emails me and asks me to come back and visit him. The last time I visiited him, he offered to walk me to my car. . .i dont know how to respond to him. I am 20 adn he is 25. . .but he will always be my senior teacher in my mind. …</p>