<p>Have your children thanked their dean and teachers for the recommendations and assistance in the application process? What to do if they have not.</p>
<p>Tell them that they should? Buy some “thank you” cards for them to write and give the teachers.</p>
<p>Done all that. It just makes me sad.</p>
<p>I’d threaten. And, I have! (to remove computer time, etc…whatever leverage there is…)</p>
<p>Bought a few boxes of thank-you cards and left them out for him after his college’s pre-frosh weekend. At pre-frosh, we had purchased mugs and pens for the faculty who really helped him out. The combination of free time, small gifts to hand out, and easy access to thank-you cards was really all it took. He holed up in his room and cranked out those cards, plus about 25 more thanking people for birthday gifts. Came out a few hours later, carrying a large stack of cards, very pleased with himself. :)</p>
<p>Also – He thanked his recommenders verbally right away, and we made them a pan of brownies with Mudd’13 frosted on top when the decision came in. Our faculty are like family. :)</p>
<p>What they wanted more than anything else, though, was just to know the decision. Even just a spoken “thanks so much for your help, I made it into X/Y/Z and am so excited to be heading for Z next year” means a lot.</p>
<p>With older S, I bought thank-you cards and insisted --i.e. withheld some privilege – that the cards be done ASAP. With younger S, I reminded him, offered him cards, and he gratefully wrote the cards without my having to be draconian about it.</p>
<p>Making sure those thank-yous are done is my official end of taking any responsibilities for my kids’ thank-you courtesies. After that, they are on their own.</p>
<p>I’m thankful that ds is excellent at writing thank-you notes. I don’t even read them anymore because he’s got it down.</p>
<p>I absolutely would withhold some privilege until those get written.</p>
<p>geek_mom–that college-mug, etc. thing for the teachers who helped is a great idea! </p>
<p>One thing – would it be inappropriate to send some sort of ‘treat’ to a person at a college who really went to bat for son (advocating for [multiple] scholarships, talking to others at the school)? (thinking local baked goods shipped). Son is actually not attending that school, but we really appreciate all the help from this person. Figured since he wasn’t going, it wouldn’t be seen as a ‘bribe.’ (already did the thank-you email). Maybe it would be over-the-top?</p>
<p>Are there any teachers on here? Any ideas what we can do in addition to thank you notes, for one teacher who really really went above and beyond?</p>
<p>I have inside knowledge of what some teachers like/are receiving from students. The best thing is a personal card. Some little presents that are nice are gift cards for Barnes and Noble or Amazon or Starbucks, things like that. Some artistic students have made beautiful pieces of art. Some have created works of “art” for the classroom–even silly things like a tie-dye flag for the potty pass! Sometimes other little silly, personal gifts that represent something that the teacher teaches are nice. For example, jokey little figurines of Shakespeare or Einstein. Another thought is if there’s some special little gift that represents a student’s ethnicity or background. One student gave a bottle opener from India. It was different than something you’d find here–not fancy, but special. If the teacher has a certain kind of pet, like a dog, you could get something like fancy little dog treats. Any kind of present is appreciated, though I will say that most teachers I know get a little overwhelmed with a. mugs, and b. chocolate. Although I am not a teacher, the teachers in my life really do spend HOURS on each kid’s letter. And the logistics of sending out the number of letters each kid requires nowadays (up to 15!) is very frustratin and time consuming. It is really an act of love, above and beyond the call of duty, that they do so, so I do think it is appropriate to thank them.</p>
<p>Amen, Endicott!</p>
<p>Someone else mentioned pens, and I found that the teachers really appreciated them. DD thought it was a most appropriate gift because of all the “writing” they did for her - obviously symbolic, but a laptop would have been too expensive. </p>
<p>Last year, during what I know is crunch time for the school counseling office, I took in a bagel tray with a note that said I remembered how crazy it had been for them when my DD was a senior. I thought they were going to cry they were so surprised by the gesture. Let’s face it, each app requires at least 7 pieces of paper, so multiply that by the total number of schools, and you can begin to get a handle on the paperwork that passes through the office. </p>
<p>So, to the OP - even if you have to buy the trinket & buy individual cards that just have a message inside that conveys thanks & your son just has to sign - do it (or disconnect the internet until it is complete!)</p>
<p>Thanks WIP, would that be right before the Xmas break?</p>
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[QUOTE=Jolynne Smith]
One thing – would it be inappropriate to send some sort of ‘treat’ to a person at a college who really went to bat for son (advocating for [multiple] scholarships, talking to others at the school)?
[/quote]
Wow, Jolynne, what a lovely idea. I don’t think a food gift for this helpful person would be over the top at all; if it happened at our university, the recipient would be tickled. If received at work, it will probably make for a nice impromptu break for several folks in the office. I would just call first to see if you can find out when would be a good time to send it, in light of post-semester vacations and the admissions recruiting season.</p>
<p>KayF - Yes!</p>
<p>I do consulting work in several high schools and I have been privy to the backrooms where materials for kids are being assembled. Until I saw the sheer amount of paper I never quite realized just how much organization is required. Most of us on CC wouldn’t dream of having our kids dump stuff off that was incomplete, piecemeal, or give it to a school counselor in the hall. So, having worked in several schools, I was determined after DD graduated I would make sure her counselors/teachers knew I remembered how much they helped.</p>
<p>Not to get too corny, but this is the time of the year (mother’s day) when I think about who has helped me be a better mother. It could be a teacher or a neighbor or someone from church who extended a kindness. I try to send a card to tell that person what they meant to me. It is an awesome task being a parent and I am so grateful to anyone who has helped me along the way.</p>
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<p>I never understood why this … happens? The last place an application should be collated from different sources is the high school, and this for the reasons described above. I am not certain who started this idea that the high school or the GC should be responsible for assembling the various papers needed in an application, but it is a bad idea. </p>
<p>High schools should ONLY be responsible for delivering official documents such as transcripts, GC responsible for their administrative parts, and teachers who were kind enough to write the LOR responsible to return the sealed letters to the STUDENTS. Everything else, starting with tests scores, essays, ECs, and all other personal data should NEVER become the responsibility of the high schools, and most definitely NOT their domain. </p>
<p>The only silver lining that came from this arcane process is that colleges understood the need for online applications where the STUDENT has become the SOLE interactive part and is forced to assume full responsibility for his or her application.</p>
<p>This wife of a teacher votes for no more coffee mugs. 
Endicott’s ideas are great.</p>
<p>Good tips! I think I might do the treat for person who helped at college – appreciate the encouragement!</p>
<p>Just my thoughts as a former teacher who wrote tons of recommendations, often on short notice. I personally think thank you notes, and especially gifts, are completely unnecessary. Writing recommendations is part of our job and it is a pleasure to write them for good students. It is nice if the student can drop by when all the results are in, express thanks for the recommendation, and have a chat about college plans. From my perspective, that is plenty and actually much nicer than a thank you note!</p>
<p>^ Must say that at least one of our teachers may agree with this. geek_son just told me today that the teacher who directs the choir said he does not want to be presented with any gifts at tonight’s concert, and will refuse them if offered. I’m told he relented when he saw the looks on a few of their faces, and agreed to accept what they’d already arranged for him (we’re not talking big-ticket here). But apparently his sentiment was thanks, but no thanks.</p>
<p>For the teachers that wrote my recommendations, I bought them a $10 Starbucks card and baked them each a homemade lemon pound cake.</p>