<p>Hasn’t it been a challenge when we dole out consequences that they’re so often more work than not doing anything? I love it when the consequences make things less stressful for US. </p>
<p>I also have been majorly burned by the intermittent grade reports - with each kid my H and I have slammed them for stuff like this and it was the teacher’s fault (not intentional, but the usual not putting things in, etc.) or just the fault of the way the grading program deals with the numbers. Now we just say “You’re on this, right?” and they say “Oh, yeah, I did that last week” or “Oh, thanks, I guess I need to tell them again.” Sometimes she still blows it, but that’s her business, and we’re not so stressed out. It has been helpful to have a heads up when things are out of whack, but after 7 years of HS parenting I don’t lose sleep over those out-of-nowhere grade reports.</p>
<p>It sounds like your S is thinking about his life and what he needs to do. And they all experiment a little. Good you can talk about it, too.</p>
<p>Yes…CC is the place to vent rather than at home where it is more counterproductive. I am really interested in how parents with the erratic, disorganized and semi-underachieving kid make the transition to college. Do you just drop them off and forget about it? Luckily, each month has shown small signs of more responsibility and attention to detail but he still pulls a few humdingers that make you say “what were you thinking?” </p>
<p>I do see one change that is heartening. We are carrying out a family tradition of “dump kid after family holiday …and tell him to be home by August”. I was abandoned in France at 17 and handed a plane ticket home for 2 weeks later. I had a wonderful time but played it very safe and didn’t travel much staying mainly with family. It is a bit like the “amazing race”…you have a goal but you have to figure how to get there yourself. He is far more ambitious than I was and is thinking “turkey? greece?”. So he is starting to plan the trip of a lifetime backpacking in Europe but the constraints are time and what he has earned/saved for the past year or so…suddenly, how “great” this trip is depends entirely on him and the quality of his planning and budgeting… It may be the best $500 ever spent (Wow…air Lingus round trip ticket in July!).</p>
<p>That is a fantastic plan! What a lucky kid to be in your family! And I bet he’ll do great at school - on another thread someone mentioned something about “don’t prepare the path for your child, but prepare your child for the path.” It sounds like you’re giving just that kind of opportunity.</p>
<p>Just got back from school conferences for our D. She’s got work to make up from being sick, but she’s on track and the teachers are really happy with her. She’s pumped about her play that runs in a couple of weeks, and she has lots of great music going on. What more can I ask? She even fed the dog. And she regularly asks me how was MY day.</p>
<p>Maybe you all will appreciate that today, when I mentioned that I’m going to miss her when she’s gone in another year or so, she smiled and said, “Yeah, but I’m going to get out of this town and see the world!”</p>
<p>On other threads I’ve been reading about acceptances and rejections, worries that grades and scores aren’t high enough for schools. Of course we’re all worried, and I will shed tears at her rejections (and she’ll have them - especially in auditioned theater programs). But I have utter faith that she is an will be a valued student at a good school for her, just as so many of this year’s seniors will be come fall.</p>
<p>She’s disorganized and sloppy - and erratic and semi-underachieving - but every day she inches upward. We can all remember how much college taught us, and our friends, how to live day-to-day. It even helped some overachievers relax a little bit! </p>
<p>Best wishes to your son, fineartsmajormom. He sounds really fun, and after all, doesn’t he keep life interesting? That’s how I feel about this D, just gotta love her, no matter what.</p>
<p>Hi Holliesue! Yes, I think yabeyabe once referred to your, my and rodney’s Ds as triplets separated at birth! And all of you “gee is it just those of us with boys who feel this way?” types can be assured that we have plenty of daughters in this profile.</p>
<p>One thing I’ll say again about my kid - and her aforementioned attributes - is that the day she made me understand she’s a perfectionist, and she let me in on why she’s the way she is and does the things she does, I got way less mad at her, and less often, too. Now we talk about what she’s doing to do to deal, instead of wailing, why, why, WHY did things get screwed up AGAIN!!! She’s so much better at saying, “This is how I’m fixing this, or this is how I did it better this time, or (just plain) I own this, and I’m OK.” And even more important - she’s learning how to say this to teachers, too, instead of just making them crazy, too.</p>
<p>Someone once told me that odd age years are tougher than even ones, and honestly that has been VERY true for us (or, if you prefer, even grade years are rougher than odd ones). She had a very difficult 11 (6th), not so great 13 (8th), and a very rough 15 (10th - she’s a summer birthday). I’m guessing 17 will be OK, given that she’s developed a ton of great skills, but I’m preparing myself for another dip. We’ll just remember what worked this year, and try to balance on that if things go awry. </p>
<p>Best of luck to you and your D! I’m looking forward to travelling through next year with you!</p>
<p>First envelope of the season arrived today: he’s in at UMass Amherst. It’s far from being his first choice, but it’s his financial safety, so if the FA news at other places is grim, he could end up there.</p>
<p>So, finally, I can say “my son is going to college.” Not that there was any serious doubt about the matter, but it does feel awfully good to be looking at that letter with “Congratulations” as the first sentence.</p>
<p>nightchef, congrats! I still remember the joy of S1’s first acceptance. He is still waiting for the UMass Amherst decision. It started out as his safety, but now it has turned into his financial safety.</p>
<p>My 3.6 (WGPA) D is 7 for 7 so far. She got a spring admit at the most competitive school she applied to: University of Maryland. In at: UConn, American, SUNY Albany, SUNY Buffalo, Towson, URI (merit $$). Still waiting for Delaware and SUNY Binghamton.</p>
<p>I don’t think the guidance counselor was confident in her ability to get in at some of these schools. Probably because of her ACT score (26). I think we applied to too many safeties.</p>
<p>Her confidence is high now and she is surely not burnt out from her HS experience. Time to turn it up at college (whichever one she ends up at!).</p>
<p>not sure if I fit in this thread. DD has just over a 3.6 WGPA, but its at a very highly ranked HS, (TJ) and over 1500 SATs. Still the GPA has been an issue, both for her self esteem and for figuring out her chances (it places her possibly the bottom decile at TJ)</p>
<p>So far, rejected by Tulane, waitlisted at WUSTL. Confused needless to say, and anxiously awaiting an acceptance.</p>
<p>Brooklynborndad - I am very surprised she was rejected by Tulane. Have you thought about talking to the admissions counselor for your area to make sure they didn’t make a mistake? Her GPA is a bit low, but still… PM if you want some guidance in this area.</p>
<p>That rejection seems odd, although I’ve also never heard of a 3.6 being in the bottom decile. Is it a 5.0 scale?</p>
<p>A whole bunch of kids in our school were accepted to Tulane with between 3.0 and 3.5 weighted GPAs (and one kid with a 2.8, but I think he had connections). My son had a 3.2 GPA and was accepted. (He had good SATs, but not as high as 1500 out of 1600 which I assume is what you were saying.) Granted, our school is not grade inflated; the mean weighted GPA is a 3.0. </p>
<p>However, it does seem weird to be flat out rejected at Tulane yet deferreed at WashU, which is a much more highly ranked school.</p>
<p>nightchef, PCP, financial safeties are good to have. Our financial aid situation was unworkable at the privates S applied to (unable to meet high EFC), so UMASS Amherst it is. Luckily S likes it.</p>
Can yours talk to mine? He’s talking about taking a gap year if it comes to that. I think he’s really spooked by UMass’s reputation as a party school. Not his scene, to put it mildly.</p>
<p>nightchef, I thought you were posting for me. S1 said the same thing before! I told S1 if he gets in the honors college, then things may not be that far from other highly selective colleges. </p>
<p>Guess what? S1 received his acceptance to UMass Amherst yesterday with an invitation to the Commonwealth Honors College.</p>
<p>nightchef, S is anything but a partier. The dorms seem pretty segregated in terms of degree of wildness. I may be getting the directions wrong here, but Southwest seems to be where ZooMass is housed. The Northeast dorms, where we toured are very close to the science and engineering buildings, and are nothing like that. I think they have some learning community type dorms too.</p>
<p>S likes to befriend people from a wide range of social groups, not just his own ‘kind’, so this seems like a good fit. Also, he knows people from high school that will be there, and that is important to him too.</p>
<p>We were pleasantly surprised when we toured last fall. A few of the facilities are a little outdated, but this will cost us half what we’d pay anywhere else that he likes.</p>