<p>Anyone who has gone to an elite college from a non elite background knows that what dmd says is true, these schools can change your destiny. The 2 degrees I have from elite schools continue to open doors twenty odd years later as they do for my classmates. My peers who did not choose to use the degrees to make money used them to be at the top of their fields. What school district does not want an ivy educated head? But those who wanted to become affluent did so easily. Surprisingly easily from the perspective of someone with two hard working parents who made little. It's as though we were let in on a secret, let into the club.</p>
<p>Dogs arguement on this and other threads especially interest me. Don't we think there is a backlash as HR people did not go to these schools? Honestly, never in my career did I encounter an HR person except to fill out paperwork. For jobs you open up the alum book (or go on line these days) and call someone senior at the company you want to work for.</p>
<p>To say that the name of an elite school on your resume does not open doors and give you a tremendous boost is just silly.</p>
<p>This topic, of the advantage or lack of, for having a degree from a top institution, has been hashed over endlessly, here and elsewhere.</p>
<p>I think it fair to say that most folks who have an elite degree think it gave them admission to an exclusive club, or at least opened doors etc.</p>
<p>I think it also fair to say that most folks who don't have an elite degree are quite happy without it, find they can still get into exclusive clubs and have no problem opening doors themselves.</p>
<p>Rigorous academic study has shown either that it makes no difference, based on career income measures, or matters to a trivial degree (Hoxby's work). </p>
<p>1) "One danger in attending an elite school is the possibility of developing of a sense of superiority and/or entitlement simply based upon that fact. It is the case that with respect to the traits, skills, and determination that lead to worldly success, it is 99% what one achieves after college that counts."</p>
<p>2)"But I still think you're selling yourself short! You have had a successful career, but I think you're wrong to think that it would have been more "difficult to have that career had you not attended a school such as MIT</p>
<p>3)"There is ample (perhaps even a surfeit of...) scholarly research that shows that, above a certain level, referenced against peers, income does not buy happiness"</p>
<p>I certainly agree with all of the above. BTW all the reserach on money and happiness shows that those who are happiest who are those have a reasonable amount and then generally have more than the crowd they associate with. This would argue for the smart kid without connections not hanging out with the many generationed moneyed elite at the Ivies as chance are they will be on the lower end of wealth even if they do have a decent upper middle class career lie most Ivy atendees.</p>
<p>Newmassdad, what I'll agree with is that everyone finds a way to defend the lives they've chosen. I think that what research has shown is that people do just as well who were accepted into an elite colleg but did not attend. Many argue with that research, and I have a hard time believing it.</p>
<p>I have lived without connections and with them. No matter how much talent is present, if you can not get in the door......</p>
<p>I'm not wealthy, just comfortable, but I've been poor. Again I'll agree with dmd, money sure can prevent many issues most face. </p>
<p>I'm glad dmd chose to write these things. Too often on this site people encourage the young people to not consider money. Yet there is post after post of unhappy parents and kids who can not afford their choice of schools. It is fact that money effects lives and most would rather have it than not.</p>
<p>I agree that if you shelled out an outrageous amount of $ and worked like a madperson to get into an IVY you will need to defend your choice and rationalize that it helped you to be successful. Since research doesn't support any advantage for a so called elite degree then certainly to argue otherwise is moot. Exceptions occur---sure---no doubt the person who felt it opened doors may be correct but it may have closed doors as well since some CEOs with state diplomas may see you as an elitist. I know many Penn Stae grads, a school I used to have a less than positive opinion of, its changed and one noteworthy piece of info about PSU is that 1 in 33 college graduates attended that school and the alumni network is unreal --so the shear numbers would suggest your more likely to report into a state school educated Manager . Quite frankly, by the time you are 25 or so, if you are depending on your college to make a difference in how people see you....hmmmm....I for one would question anyone who forms an opinion one way or the other based on that experience.</p>
<p>Parentny, re your post #38. You didn't "send" your kid anywhere... you just didn't stop him from going off on his own.</p>
<p>I agree that I thought the same thing when I first read JHSU's post (like, "yeah, try and stop them") -- but the reality is that there are a lot of parents who do steer their kids to super-competitive schools. I have a daughter who is very driven, but fortunately not toward heavy academics (she got the foreign exchange bug instead) - but at the same time I am glad that she is at a school where everyone is questioning her decision to sign up for 3 AP's next year (they think it will be too difficult, no one takes more than 2 simultaneously - I told her it was o.k. because AP Econ is only one semester). Of course there is an academic pressure cooker down the road where 6 AP's a year is probably the norm. </p>
<p>I also have to say that we as parents do steer and direct our kids, and it starts very early, when they are preschoolers and in elementary school. We can give them the message by our own attitudes and conduct that grades and academic achievement are all-important, or we can make time in their lives and encourage other pursuits (arts, sports, time spent socializing with friends and family). Of course we can make the mistake of becoming equally over-involved in the other pursuits --it used to drive me nuts when my people would ask my 7-year-old gymnast whether she was training for the Olympics -- it never seemed o.k. to just do gymnastics for fun. (Lots of talk about "potential"....aargh)</p>
<p>So yes, we need to support our kids choices, but the first thing I do when I see my daughter headstrong about something going toward the extreme is that I back off. If she wants to do X, fine, I won't stand in her way, but I won't lift a finger to help. So for my daughter it was a foreign exchange, for your son a prep school .... but at least that puts us in a different boat than the parents who are filling out the application forms for their kids.</p>
<p>< hahhaaha. Do you own your kids? My son applied to those prep school and we told him that we can not shell any money. He received full financial aid and left for the school despite we were not very enthusiastic about it. So wehn kids wants to do something. How Do you stop them as we do not own them. Let kids make their own choices. But I would agree that do not push kids for any place, let them make their own choices. >
If I have a child who really, really is determined to go to such a prep school due to real interest in the academics (and not just for window-dressing purposes), I won't stop him/her.</p>
<p>The colleges SHOULD make it clearer what they want and be more willing to disclose their criteria.</p>
<p>I think what the colleges really need to do is market themselves DIFFERENTLY. They should market themselves in a way that attracts the types of students they want and does not attract the types of students they don't want. If singers were like colleges, Britney Spears would be trying to appeal to everyone from classical music fans to metalheads, music fans would have to submit applications to get tickets, and a select few would be chosen to have the privilege of buying tickets.</p>
<p>As long as there are those who are willing to sacrifice normal comforts (e.g. sleeping) to excel at extremely high levels, the competition will be stiff, causing others to rise to the challenge. Personally, I think it's a one part healthy competition, one part ridiculously unhealthy competition - and I don't see an end to it in the near future. IMHO, college admissions has gotten far far far out of hand.</p>