Of COURSE I’m kidding!
But I do have a Canadian expat colleague w a good sheets story. The children spent all of their lives living overseas where the family had a driver, maid, cook, etc., etc. The oldest son repatriated to Canada to go to college. The parents went to pick him up a the end of the school year. When they walked into son’s dorm room, the stink nearly knocked them off their feet. Son hadn’t washed his sheets the entire school year. He just wasn’t aware that it was something to be done. The mom consoled herself knowing no girl had ever slept in that bed.