<p>CadiumRed,
Anyone who has read this thread in its entirety or “Nightmare at AU” will soon realize that ANYTHING you can find to complain about, you will, and do so in a way that is insulting to both parents and their children.The problem is not with your daughter or her issues. The problem is with you.
I really wish those people PMing you would post openly. Any parent that comes to this thread with legitimate concerns will receive information and advice, AS YOU DID, until it became clear to all that your main interest was berating and undermining AU as you continued your rant even after your problems were solved. You cannot expect to get any more help from this thread and why you even continue to post is a mystery to me.</p>
<p>Just wanted to get my facts straight
Went through the entire thread, which is basically the same 10 or 12 people who post. No one was “bullied” off the thread.
Seriously, you really need to speak to a therapist about this. Reread the thread and you can see what I mean. You’re all over the place. I’m not trying to mean, I really think you need help.</p>
<p>Tell your daughter to try studying in the library.</p>
<p>cadmiumred,</p>
<p>No one is trying to bully anyone on this thread. We are just trying to help you rein in your unrealistic expectations of a college environment and your tendency to treat every challenge as an absolute catastrophe. Just like your daughter’s initial scheduling challenges, everything has a way of working itself out.</p>
<p>Every floor in every dorm has lounges. There are procedures for reserving them for functions, Greek, club or otherwise. If your daughter wants to go through the procedure to reserve a lounge for a dedicated study group, she can do it. If at some time she wants to study in her dorm and the lounge on her floor is otherwise occupied, she can check out lounges on other floors.</p>
<p>Or, as another poster noted, she can go to the library. Nothing on the AU campus is more than a 3 minute walk from anywhere else. The campus is quite safe. Or can she study in one of the art studios? Or lounges in the art building, which is right near her dorm?</p>
<p>The point is that the inability to study in her room/in her floor lounge is not a catastrophe, it is a mere inconvenience. Unfortunately she is choosing to study at a time when apparently other students are not studying—this is not a value judgment for or against your daughter or the other students, because I also am assuming that some of these other students are choosing to study when your daughter is taking time off. No one will be able to stay on campus for long if they are not allocating time to their studies. If your daughter is doing nothing but studying, then she is doing something wrong…there is a lot to be learned from college outside of the books and classrooms. You have never once posted what she is doing socially, what activities she is becoming involved in, etc. Outside of going to class and doing her homework, what has she become involved in?</p>
<p>You have consistently made value judgments about her roomies having “late classes” and “easy” classes. They are bad people because they stay up late. How do you know the classes are “easy” when each student is taking general prerequisites first year, or else classes they placed in to with AP credits?</p>
<p>Students who have classes later in the day are not lesser or greater beings than those who have their classes scheduled earlier in the day…it is just when they were assigned classes. It does not mean they are lazy because their classes are later…it just is what it is .My son has NO classes on Mondays, 3 classes back to back on Tuesday and Friday starting early in the morning, 7 hours straight in labs on Wednesdays and a 3 hour class in the aftenoon on Thursday. After the schedule of death on Wednesday, he sleeps til noon on Thursday. That doesn’t make him a lazy oaf. Son’s roomie was scheduled for a class Monday and Wednesday in the evening after dinner. When he gets back, it’s late…and he doesn’t want to go straight to bed, he wants to socialize. He and S have worked things out.</p>
<p>No one on the thread is an apologist for AU–AU doesn’t do everything right. My S had issues with his schedule right from the beginning because he was assigned overlapping lab times on Wednesday. He was able to work things out so that things worked, but still and all he’s not thrilled about 7 hours of labs back to back. But he is dealing even though it is not optimal. He is learning the life lesson of sometimes just rolling with what your are dealt. I didn’t get involved…I was sure he could advocate for himself and that the problem was solvable. </p>
<p>None of us know the dynamics on your daughter’s dorm floor. However, it seems that her floor certainly is an anomaly, because she is in one of the dorms with a “tame” reputation and I can’t believe that the entire floor parties all night every night, or else the floor will be empty come January. Not only that, if things were SO out of control, the university would have cracked down because there would be a whole chorus of complaints coming in, not just an unceasing litany from one parent who has been unhappy about everything-
AU since June. So either your daughter is exaggerating or blowing the situation out of proportion, or you are. And please realize the RA is not a policeman…it is her job to make sure the students are safe, not to enforce a bedtime. The RA is not going to park herself in a chair in your daughter’s hallway every night to make sure all the children go to bed like a teacher on an 8th grade field trip to Washington DC. What your daughter considers to be mayhem might be considered the normal sounds of a lot of young people living in a crowded environment by someone else.</p>
<p>As far as the problems with her roomies, generally that’s not something schools get involved in. I am guessing that at this point things have deteriorated in her room to the point where her roomies are being deliberately antagonistic, although I really don’t see a problem with a roomie searching for a stapler, etc., in a roomie’s desk if they need one and the roomie is not home. And generally the roomies share the refrigerator no matter who brought it because there is space for only one, especially in a triple. Yes, the triple is crowded but AU was overly popular and over-subscribed this year and more than a third of the first year class is in triples from what I have heard. Your daughter was not uniquely singled out for punishment…rooms were assigned in the order in which housing deposits were received, period. From what you wrote, they make noise at night and then harrass her in the morning when she gets up early…so does that mean they are getting up early as well? She has the same right to get up early as they have to go to bed late. If they are inviting friends in at night when she is trying to sleep, she of course has the same right to do that in the morning even tho that would be petty…but she could make her point, assuming she has friends who are up early like she is.</p>
<p>There is usually a time set aside a few weeks in where unhappy roomies can request room changes. Has your daughter checked in to the dates and any paperwork required? I’m sure she is not the only student on campus not getting along with the roomie–has she looked in to arranging a switch with someone else who is unhappy? I’m not sure what effect the overcrowding on campus will have on room changes this year.</p>
<p>No one on the thread is bullying any one else, it’s just that everyone else just advocates a more measured way of dealing with things that come up rather than resorting to constant rants that border on the hysterical. Please look at the tone of your postings. We are all in this together, trying to help our children and ourselves get through a life-changing experience.</p>
<p>Hello5:
I meant the entire AU thread not just yours. There are rarely as many as 12 posting,
except when I started my thread. There are hardly any parents posting, if you compare this
thread to other schools, where parents and kids are allowed to express their experiences good or bad. Guess what? That is the purpose of College Confidential. I get many private messages from parents who are afraid to post on this one, because of the assumption they will be derided if they actually complain about something. Some were from my thread. If the school promotes and advertises things to entice students and parents i.e. managed dorms (with a responsible r.a., an existent r.a. director), classes in your major, quiet study spaces in the dorms etc., than one should be allowed to voice their frustrations, if they are not coming through. This is not a state school. It is an extremely high priced private school which provide quality living.</p>
<p>Let me clarify again. The roomies complain of being awakened by her in the morning when she has to get dressed, go to the bathroom, daily stuff. They yell at her about this daily, and when she needs to go to the bathroom at night sometimes. No one should have to put up with this. It causes health issues. Sleep deprivation causes health issues. You are all moms and dads, so you know are very aware of this. If what you are saying is true about the r.a. not having any power, then there is absolutely no law and order amongst a bunch of kids. Yes, they are still
kids. I guess according to you guys, my daughter has no right to sleep
go to the bathroom without harrassment, study in a quiet place. Honestly, It is not great for a girl to look for very isolated places outside of the dorm to study at night, like the Wellness Center, for instance, which if farthest from the dorms. The library I heard was another social center. Look what happened at Yale. Girls really have to be more careful on any campus unfortunately walking around alone at night. D.C. is not a playground people. The lady who is in charge of dorm assignments assured me in August that living in triple would be fine because the girls could study in the quiet lounges and she could paint in the lounges. Not true with all the events and meetings there. Also, I meant earlier that the other roomies have no place to go to work so my daughter could sleep at night since the lounges and additional rooms are used for events.</p>
<p>I’m confused. Why would a girl look for an isolated place to study? And why would you study at the Wellness Center???
The library has 4 floors–My son told me this last week and if I remember correctly— 2 talking floors, 1 quiet talking floor, and 1 silent floor. I’m sure your daughter can study there. Its right in the middle of the campus, there are students out at night, so she really shouldn’t have to worry about walking back to her dorm.
Hope this helps</p>
<p>^my D is living in McDowell hall, i don’t know if it’s your D’s hall, but she said that most of the time she is studying in the lounge and she likes it… maybe her floor it’s a quiet floor… i don’t know. So far so good …she doesn’t seem to have issues right now and we think she made a good choice. I don’t understand why you are having so much problems? maybe if you think more positive good thing will come to you (karma)…</p>
<p>Maybe Cadiumred’s daughter could study in a lounge on a different floor if her’s is being used.</p>
<p>I knew the Yale thing would come up. Absolutely predictable.</p>
<p>This is not for Cadmiumred - by now I imagine her d. is close to the breaking point, not from AU, but from her mom. Poor kid.</p>
<p>But for those of you whose kids express concern about night campus safety:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.american.edu/finance/publicsafety/Escorts.cfm[/url]”>http://www.american.edu/finance/publicsafety/Escorts.cfm</a></p>
<p>Thought you might chime in Mini. Shanah Tovah to all that it applies! (:</p>
<p>It should also be noted that there has not been a single reported alcohol violation or disorderly conduct violation at McDowell since August 22nd. (Which doesn’t mean there haven’t been any; only that no student has reported one, and no campus security has been alerted to one).</p>
<p><a href=“http://www1.american.edu/finance/dps/srtk/srtk.pdf[/url]”>http://www1.american.edu/finance/dps/srtk/srtk.pdf</a></p>
<p>^Ginger2 - what floor is your D on McDowell? My D is there also and likes it. In fact overall very happy with AU and the DC area.</p>
<p>What is Shanah Tovah?</p>
<p>Hi IaDorking:</p>
<p>Shanah Tovah just means Happy New Year in Hebrew. The jewish holiday,
Rosh Hashanah starts tomorrow evening which celebrates the jewish new year, according to the Hebrew calendar. A shofar (horn) is blown to usher in the new year.</p>
<p>cadmiumred</p>
<p>My son is in a triple also. He and his roomates are on different schedules, one has almost all 8:30 classes and my son complains that two days he has to get up for his “early” 10 am class.</p>
<p>But, from what I hear, they are working it out with respect for each others needs. My son tells me he stays up later than one of his roomies, but he goes somewhere else so as to not interfere with his roomies sleep.</p>
<p>It sounds like there is a real lack of respect for each other as people in your daughter’s situation. And it sounds like there is a lot of conflict. How has your daughter learned to deal with conflict before? Its a huge life lesson, it took me many years in adulthood before I could deal with conflict productively and calmly, but its a lesson worth learning. I am still learning it, I am not an expert, and I’ve gotten help to learn it. Hopefully, my son learned some of that from me as I was learning it so that he will be better at it than I am.</p>
<p>I’ve noticed that people who are good at dealing with conflict seem to do very well in life.</p>
<p>I also notice there is a lot of conflict on this board. Are we as adults dealing with it productively and calmly?</p>
<p>khsstitches: my D is living on the third floor, she said that she is lucky because it’s the quietest floor in McDowell, maybe Cadmiumred’s Daughter can go and study there? my D is having a lot of fun at AU and each time i call she is busy… yesterday she went canoing on the Potomac river with a (sustainable Earth)group!! she already went to some concerts, a Symphony, farmers market,shopping in Georgetown,and visited the monuments at night, etc… She seems very happy! and i understand the sadness and the frustration of Cadmiumred if she feels her D is miserable at AU… i will be very worried and angry too… maybe her D is not mature enough to live in college or maybe Cadmiumred is too much involve in her d’s life? i wish both of them a happy new year at AU! Shanah Tovah everybody!!</p>
<p>Dear Kathy:</p>
<pre><code>My daughter is mature and dealt with conflict well in the past. She was president of a huge organization in high school and managed numerous kids and their conflicts. It really is a problem with a floor of noisy kids and 2 roommates against one. They both have the late morning schedules and refuse to accommodate my daughter. She goes put of her way to
</code></pre>
<p>be quiet in the morning including waking up earlier to tip toe quietly and move more slowly as to not wake them, and they give her a hard time as well as rummage through her things when she is not present. At night, they totally ignore her wishes to go to sleep around midnight to 12:30 and stay up past 2 .a.m. some nights during the school week. No one including one of us could work with these girls, and the administration refuses to do so. It really is a health issue when you are dealing with sleep deprivation and constant conflict.</p>
<p>Ginger2:</p>
<p>You can’t unfortunately just walk into to other dorms to study when you want. She would have to be signed in by a kid who lives there. Also, as I said before, it is also an issue of her roommates not finding another place to study and type late at night so my daughter can sleep. The lounges were committed to other activities.</p>
<p>Out of morbid curiousity I have followed this thread for a while. Is there no code of conduct at American? Regardless of whether cadmiumred’s concerns are overinflated or even made up, people should be concerned about conduct in the dorms. When my son was a sophomore at Emory, and I was in Atlanta for the weekend, he informed me that I had turned the volume on his music up too high and told me I had to turn it down. This was on a Friday evening at 6:30 p.m.!</p>
<p>My son is in Anderson, which has the reputation of being the “wild” dorm, but he reports (after I questioned him because of concerns raised by this thread) that things are “pretty chill” and that people are “social” but not “wild” and that there is a segment that drinks too much but they don’t bother the others; that there are some that don’t drink at all; and that there are some that drink a little once in a while on the weekend (he puts himself in that group–at least he is honest, although I would rather he be in the never drink at all group).</p>
<p>According to my son, the floor is loud before dinner, fairly quiet after dinner while people are doing their work, that it gets loud again from about 10-12 with people blowing off steam when they come back from studying/clubs/rehearsals etc, that it is quieting down by 12 and basically silent by 1. Someone trying to go to bed at 11 might have trouble sleeping, I guess, but he said after 12 its just basically people talking in the hallway, etc.</p>
<p>Son’s room is social central most of the time (a double with “good stuff” in it) and even when no one is around, it has too many distractions in it, so he studies in the lounge on his floor or one floor down, or goes to the library or the Kogod building to study. His roomie studies in the student center building a lot.</p>
<p>My S3 is the one at Au. My S1 graduated from Emory in 2007 and loved his 4 years there. His freshman floor had a lot of drama on it…it was 2/3 female and the girls seemed to be living the script of a bad soap opera.</p>